gay civil rights ceremoney

trademark

my wifes sister is getting married ..... to another women , and i dont want to go ... im not against gays or lesbians at all but im under alot of pressure as the rest of the family are angry at my decision ....

i am however against adoption for same sex couples and feel it could lead to this and then id be assisting as such

how does everyone else feel about this ... would you go ... what would you say

thankyou

hjb123

In the end it is your decision but if your wife is happy and your wifes sister is happy surely that is what matters and even though you arent you should just go along with it for the day and you would make alot of people happy wouldnt you?

november

Personally I am all for gay couples having the same rights as heterosexual couples so it wouldn't be a problem for me.

However I have faced other such issues where personally I disaproved of someone/something at a wedding to which I was invited.

In such cases I consider the happiness of those concerned to be of more importance than my personal beliefs or feelings.

In other words whether I approved or not I would go as if I were you I would put the feelings of my wife above those of my personal feelings. If you can't be happy for the couple can't you be happy that you would make your wife happy?

I wouldn't say a thing even if I disaproved. Which is why I'm skating around who and what I disaproved of as even now I think it would be inappropriate for me to say and nothing is ever totally anonymous.

As you already have said you won't be going as you have a problem can't you simply say to your wife "I will go as it will make you happy and that is the most important thing to me".

Incidentally I don't think by attending a wedding you would be 'assisting' in a gay couple adopting in future. They could adopt now married or unmarried.

ladywood

How on earth does attending a ceremony mean you are "assisting" in any future adoption decisions??! If they choose to adopt (or have their own children for that matter) that is entirely up to them and any adoption agencies involved. They can adopt whether or not they are civilly partnered - being civilly partnered will just give children the legal protection of two parents rather than one - surely better all round? Whether or not you attend their ceremony is completely irrelevant to any of this.

Unless you would refuse to go if your wife's sister married a man you are in my view being unreasonable (especially as you claim you are "not against lesbians" - very generous of you I'm sure!) and you should go - think about how upset your wife and her sister may be if you refuse. Why sour someone's big day?

freebie_junkie

youd rather a child have no parents than two loving same sex parents?!

youre prejuidiced face it!

trademark

thanks for the understanding one sided view everyone ... should have expected it i suppose ..... my understanding of the current situation however runs with more depth ....firstly before my wifes sister came out ... she would barely accept me into the family ... in fact she was a bloody awful person to everyone ... she didnt attend our marriage for instance

there are some bloody awful parents out there ... doing a terrible job with there children and a same sex family could well do better im sure ... loving and caring for their adopted children .... they could also ruin them with one sided views of the hate they feel for a sometimes unfair anti gay society .

i wouldnt want to enter that childs school playground myself ... let alone put a child with gay parents there .

i also look at the current balance within our society and i cant see how even a small % of the current population entering into a same sex partnership can be substained as their demand on the pension system alone following a partners death would bring the country to its knees ....

i do not even have to mention relegions view of these arrangements ..... or do i .... the church is dead set against this .... does this matter ? well we are at war constantly on this planet and its always due to relegion in some form ..... so i would say it is important to some ...

many couples entering into a civil joining do so for love and commitment ...but others are just there because they demand equality and the rights to their partners pension .
and as for being prejuidiced , some of the gay people i know are the most prejuidiced people i have ever met .

Spendless

Sorry I'm confused. Are you not attending the wedding cos your SIL is a 'bloody awful' person who didn't attend your wedding. Or are you not attending cos you don't agree with gay couples being allowed to marry?

bonnie_2

being a catholic i can see where your coming from as i dont agree with it either, but i would go if it was family, think of it as a free day out with free food.my dads been moaning about this ever since it came out. but each to their own.you cant stop it happening so you may as well go.

mdeebee

That's not a very good reason for attending an occasion such as this, Bonnie!

Cariad_3

I wish people would stop calling it a gay marriage as it isn't, it's a legal ceremony.
I'm amazed the gay community haven't made up a new word for it.
Personally I think this has to be postive for gay people and should have happened years ago but I must admit as a Catholic I'm not happy it being called a marriage.
Trademark, should you go? well, as previously said it depends on your reasons.
If you don't feel you can go and enjoy the day but possibly make others miserable because of your attitude, then I wouldn't go. But if you can go, support your wife and just accept it for what it is- a legal ceremony and a gathering of family and friends to celebrate the happy couple then I think I would make every effort to attend.Sometimes you have to put yourself out for your partner- would your wife support you if the shoe was on the other foot?
Maybe this could be a fresh start for you and your s . i. l's relationship?

november

trademark wrote:

thanks for the understanding one sided view everyone ... should have expected it i suppose

I didn't think I did give a one sided view. You asked for an opinion. I gave it both from my personal perspective plus what I would do if I had your perspective.

Are you being sarcastic with the use of the word 'understanding' or do you really think our views are both understanding of your position and one sided? In which case that statement is a bit of a contradiction.

firstly before my wifes sister came out ... she would barely accept me into the family ... in fact she was a bloody awful person to everyone ... she didnt attend our marriage for instance

You didn't say that before. I suppose you could 'tit for tat' and say "She didn't come to mine I'm not going to hers" or you could rise above that as your wife appears to have done.

The rest of your post from here

i also look at the current balance within our society .........

is blatantly homophobic.

I'm not sure if you wanted a response to your original question or just wanted someone to agree with you in order to justify an action (or lack of given as its your not going that is the question)