A Payment a Day Part 2!

Greenbynature

thanks clarissa d and flower - I will get the money together things will just be quite tight for awhile! Nowt new there then lol At least I don't smoke anymore, even if I couldn't tell you where that money goes now!
Unfortunately he's always been like this but he remarried the other year and she doesn't have any kids of her own and she resents him having to pay me anything for his kids! She has even moaned to the kids when they have asked him for pocket money!! They are both very selfish - and am not saying that from bitterness or jealousy, they go on holiday several times a year as well as lots of weekends away. He's yet to take the kids away since we split up in 1996!
I think what bothers me the most is before my LBM I paid for everything for the kids myself and yes have to say went overboard in trying to make up for their dad being what he is! That's where a lot of my debt has come from.

Greenbynature

SarahNeedle1872 wrote: »

Greenbynature, what an @r$£hole! Both for the school trip and the potential lack of maintenance! Hope everything works out ok!

Thanks sarah - re the maintenance - I do get it eventually just very rarely on time!! I would tell him to stick it where the sun don't shine but I can't afford to

Flower08

Unfortunatly i know exactly what you mean. I have had very little contact with my father, but i am now old enough to understand what hes like - i dont expect anything else from him. Quite sad really that at 20 years old i know not to expect anything from him. When he remarried (when i was very young)his OH was exactly the same, never wanted children and resented us from a very young age.
I suppose on the plus side you do eventually receive maintenence eventually, even when taken to court my father never paid my mother any money :mad:

MEN!! :mad:

(not all obviously, there are some nice ones out there :rotfl: )

Greenbynature

yes I know DS2 rarely bothers with his dad, DS1 unfortunately is one of those who will spend his life trying to please his dad and never will, DS3 and 4 are not too bothered if they see him or not and they haven't seen him since the week before xmas!
My OH is great to his DD, pays her mum same day every month, gives DD money in her account every month plus money every time he has her and she only has to ask and within reason he does/gets it for her. Makes me sad soemtimes tho when I compare him to my ex and how he treats his kids!

mmy

Greenbynature, I really sympathise. I think you and I were perhaps married to the same person!!! The reason for my debt is pretty much the same as yours, plus trying to make things 'all right' since he moved out last year and we got divorced. He has virtually no relationship with our daughter, and now that she is 17 she wants nothing to do with him either [don't want to go into the ins and outs, but suffice to say he wasn't the best dad on the planet....]
The one good thing out of this is that we can say that they are our exes - imagine if you still had to wake up to that face on the pillow next to you every morning....I'd sooner chew off my own leg! We are making it the best we can, we are managing and some days even better than managing, and we have great support here. I think that for some men [not all - there are some good ones out there!] it's easiest to put themselves first, last, and in the middle, and the rest of the world has to fit around them. I know money is tight for us all, but personally I would now rather be making a PAD of 21p than living with a super-critica control freak with a drink problem and a nasty temper [even though he was quite handy about the house - but better a wonky front door than a grumpy b%$*ger who treats us like something they have trodden in!!]
Rant over - for now! and chin up, greenbynature. His new partner is welcome to him! And don't tell him to stick the maintenance, it's his responsibility and not a favour he is doing you. I have to wait until the end of the month to get mine [he should pay in advance] and he won't pay it into my bank account so I have to wait until he comes to the house to hand over cash. Even then he shows more interest in our puppy than in his daughter...There's a thought - maybe I could train the puppy to jump up on him and then bite??? [Oh no, my ex would need to have something there for him to bite on, scratch that idea...]
Chin up!!

mmy

Oh, forgot PAD of £2 today plus also forgot £30 on Monday to evil barclaycard. So total PAD of £32!! Aren't we all doing well!

clarissa_D

Greenbynature wrote: »

yes I know DS2 rarely bothers with his dad, DS1 unfortunately is one of those who will spend his life trying to please his dad and never will, DS3 and 4 are not too bothered if they see him or not and they haven't seen him since the week before xmas!
My OH is great to his DD, pays her mum same day every month, gives DD money in her account every month plus money every time he has her and she only has to ask and within reason he does/gets it for her. Makes me sad soemtimes tho when I compare him to my ex and how he treats his kids!

Ahh hunn that is reli upsetting I have no idea why some men out there are the way they are, and it's sad for the boys aswell bless them atleast 3 of them know not to bother, but i feel for the young 1 thats always trying to please.. he will learn eventually.
just shows them that they will be brought up respecting you alot more then him which is a nice side to it ** HUGS **

tuppie

Hello, long time no speak, so sorry i have deserted you all for the past week!!!

Payment of £20.00:D


to my Laura Ashley Card going to concentrate on paying this little !!!!!!, under £450 so should not tak me that long:T

hope you are all well Big frezze coming again this weekend!!!!:eek: so wrap up warm my little loves



bye for now be good (like me) or if you cant be good be carefull!

joeyjimbles

Hi all - been having a quick catch up. Greenbynature - big hug and so sorry that you have to pick up the pieces again. Your ex is missing out so much with your lovely kids and he will regret it one day I'm sure - his loss and his problem, I hope! At least they have you - you sound so supportive and loving; I'm sure you're more than enough for them.

And mmy - don't let the puppy bite your ex. What if the puppy caught something? Not fair (on the puppy)!

joeyjimbles

Dear all
Not a great one for perpetuating these kind of emails but like the e-mail tree about the aussie guy who tried to pay a bill with a drawing of a spider, this tickled me and wanted to share.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/blog/editors_corner/article/11975/