Abuse or Not?

yoni_one

If you are a male target of domestic abuse you can access gender specific support from the following website which has no hidden agenda, has the support of the Home Office and is managed by Respect http://www.mensadviceline.org.uk/

li'l_p

I am actually shocked by the majority of responses on here, and it seems to be the way this forum has gone of late, reflective of the complete negativity and bitterness of society as a whole - people turning bitter because of the 'credit crunch'.

Let us not forget that there are wierdos and sickos out there, people that we all read about in newspapers and books; people who sink to levels of depravity that none of us would ever believe imaginable, abuse between adults, children and pets. We will have all made comment at some stage about these people when seen on the TV or in newspapers about these "sick b**tards" that "should be hanged", etc, etc - I am sure you know someone if not yourself, who has made such comments? The truth is, IT DOES HAPPEN... and for some people it still is happening. Baby P and Shannon Matthews won't be the last children that ever suffered at the hands of their parents and were failed by the system, there are many more out there as I said, including adults, who are suffering in silence. And for some people, it is about understanding what is normal and what is not or what is acceptable and what is not - and one person's idea of acceptable may not be another persons! If you read any accounts from people who have suffered abuse, they were often led to believe that this behaviour was normal.

The other thing about this forum is that quite often regular posters will assume a new identity to post a serious dilemma, so for everyone to assume that these people are trolls, is just downright rude and I can only hope that you are never in a similar position to the OP and have to resort to the same. Just remember that everyone is different, and not everyone has the same idea of what is right or wrong, and what is acceptable behaviour or not.

In answer to the OP you are clearly stating that you do not find this behaviour acceptable, so I think you already know that you do not want to stay in this relationship. Have you spoken to your 'lady friend' about any of your concerns? I won't suggest this, as I know it is not always easy to talk to people. If there are legal/finance issues then you will need to see a solicitor and take things from there. I don't know the full situation, so cannot make suggestion with regards to leaving or you confronting her - as i would like to say speak to her about your concerns, however this isn't always easy. However, as I said earlier, she may not understand that what she is doing is unnacceptable. Some people are brought up with very different ideas on what is right/wrong. Do you have any family or friends that would be willing to assist if you needed to move out/move her out?

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

dmg24

searching_me wrote: »

heads up he just moved on to debt free board ... i got sucked in yes but now hes moving on to else where ... can he be baned x

Is that an apology searching_me, or are you not big enough for that? :rolleyes:

Amber_Sunshine

Some of these comments are so childish, if you don't believe the OP is genuine hit the ignore button.

If he is genuine, then you may have made him feel a whole lot worse. Yeah, something to be proud of.

boombap

Edinburghlass wrote: »

Thats cos I've seen at least 3 alleged newbies, who aren't, on the boards today wasting everyone's time.

To be fair though, I would guess that people seeking personal advice would might want to create a new ID.....their partners might know their regular posting ID and 'check up' on them.

S.

ldavies_3

Hey, I LUURRRVE Branston Pickle on hot toast... hate it every other way!!! only pickle on tast for me... and no im not pregnant! lol

Edinburghlass_2

squee wrote: »

To be fair though, I would guess that people seeking personal advice would might want to create a new ID.....their partners might know their regular posting ID and 'check up' on them.

S.

There are people posting for personal advice and there are wind up merchants, you can choose

edit to add a good link for the OP's OH...

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?p=17189945#post17189945

Horace

The woman's behaviour is certainly strange. I think that the OP should remove her from the mortgage pronto - if he fears for his safety then he should call the police. Abuse of men does take place - I once worked with a chap who regularly came into work with cuts and bruises because his wife had beaten him up. In the end, he had to leave and is now divorced and thankfully no longer beaten from pillar to post. So it does happen.

Get rid of this woman pronto - she makes you feel uncomfortable, she makes the dog feel uncomfortable who knows what she was doing with the dog in the bath - it certainly isnt natural behaviour rather unnatural if you ask me.

Has she taken out a life insurance policy in your name? Go and see a solicitor and get her name removed from your mortgage and get her out of your life.

Mark7799

squee wrote: »

To be fair though, I would guess that people seeking personal advice would might want to create a new ID.....their partners might know their regular posting ID and 'check up' on them.

S.

But such threads usually begin with "I'm a regular poster but have created a new ID for this in case......."

searching_me

dmg 24 ... yes by the looks of it i was wrong and that i hold my hands up to.. but do you have to glot ... all i was trying to do is try to help someone who i thought needed help being an advise board .... theres no need to needle and poke ... god for bid you got anything wrong x