Older children paying keep

tiamaria

Hi I'm just looking for some unbiased opinions really;)

I have 3 kids aged between 22 and 16, 2 working part time as studying and the eldest full time, i charge them £25 per week for keep.

now as time goes on I see less and less of my eldest as he spend most of his time at his gf's hence he doesn't see why he should pay me keep. atm he has about 1 or 2 meals a week at home and I get about a quarter of his laundry i guess. He sleeps here lately about 2-3 times a month.

I can see his point of view and i do feel guilty about taking keep off him,however my problem is that i am really short of space here and when one of the kids moves out i intend to use their old room as a study combined with a guest room(many times i could have done with a spare room for visiting relatives but have been unable to put them anywhere), also badly need a room for the pc desk, printer, copier etc as they are squashed up in a cold hallway right now. Thing is although DS isn't here much, all his stuff is & he admits he uses his room as a base for storage:rolleyes: I can't convert it to a spare room atm as it's full of leads, PC Equip and wardrobes of his stuff! My view is that if he had a room elsewhere he'd have to pay rent whether he was there or not.

Anyone got an ideas on a fair way around this?

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lcharm

tiamaria wrote: »

Hi I'm just looking for some unbiased opinions really;)

I have 3 kids aged between 22 and 16, 2 working part time as studying and the eldest full time, i charge them £25 per week for keep.

now as time goes on I see less and less of my eldest as he spend most of his time at his gf's hence he doesn't see why he should pay me keep. atm he has about 1 or 2 meals a week at home and I get about a quarter of his laundry i guess. He sleeps here lately about 2-3 times a month.

I can see his point of view and i do feel guilty about taking keep off him,however my problem is that i am really short of space here and when one of the kids moves out i intend to use their old room as a study combined with a guest room(many times i could have done with a spare room for visiting relatives but have been unable to put them anywhere), also badly need a room for the pc desk, printer, copier etc as they are squashed up in a cold hallway right now. Thing is although DS isn't here much, all his stuff is & he admits he uses his room as a base for storage:rolleyes: I can't convert it to a spare room atm as it's full of leads, PC Equip and wardrobes of his stuff! My view is that if he had a room elsewhere he'd have to pay rent whether he was there or not.

Anyone got an ideas on a fair way around this?

£25 a week is nothing(if he's working F/T)!!! I don't see why he is complaining! If he wants a storage place tell him to put it all in a self-store they have good rates. Then you can have the room, and when he wants to stay round yours set up a bed for him or something like a sofa-bed. He'll need to know how real life works sooner or later!

doelani

It's your DS choice to stay at his GF house overnight, he still has his room at yours and should still be paying his share. At 22 he is old enough to decide if he wants to live at home or fly the nest and live with his GF.

Just a thought but if he is working fulltime and the others working part-time he should be paying more than them anyway lol tell him he is getting a bargain :rotfl:

bumblebee87_2

he either needs to keep paying, or get his stuff moved! my OH's cousin is in the army, and still pays his mum a small amount so that he can store stuff in his old room

sarahsarah

I agree he should still pay until he moves all of his stuff out!

Triggles

I agree - if he was storing it elsewhere he'd have to pay for the privilege.

Amanda65

tiamaria wrote: »

I have 3 kids aged between 22 and 16, 2 working part time as studying and the eldest full time, i charge them £25 per week for keep.

Sorry but can I just clarify - you are charging your 16 year old (and another under 22) £25 per week keep even though they only work part-time and are studying? Surely you still get family allowance for these two?

I think your elder son is getting a right bargain paying the same rate as them on a full-time salary :eek:

tiamai_d

If he was renting his own home, and spending all his time at his GF's, he would still have to pay rent.

He keeps paying till he officially moves out (including belongings/junk).

nadnad

you charge your 16 year old £25 a week?!! oh my goodness that seems like a lot especially if (s)he is still at school and working only part time!

but i know that wasnt the question. so in answer i think the oldest child has got it pretty easy if he's working full time and only paying what the other two are. i understand you feel a bit guilty if he's never there but that is his perogative. At the end of the day his room is there if and when he needs it and he is keeping all his things there. Basically i would tell him to either keep paying or think about moving out completely (and what would that not cost him?!)

tiamaria

I only get family allowance for the 16yr old , he actually pays me £20,maybe thats a bit harsh but I've been trying to treat them the same all along or they'd pick up on that too esp as he is earning more than the middle one who pays £25. I brought them up knowing that they had to contribute to the household when they had jobs,didn't really think about the FA. However he will get a 1.5k cheque on his 18th like the rest did so most he will get back really.

Thanks for all the opinions, i don't feel quite as guilty about the eldest one, now I feel guilty about charging the young one instead! sigh:o

Scarlett1

tiamaria is your son paying for things at his girlfriend's house ?, whether its there or at your house he needs a base and keep has to be paid, £100 per month out of a full time wage is a bargain, I would do whatever you think is best