Cooking for other people phobia

oystercatcher

LameWolf wrote: »

Hmmmm ...... A Socially Phobic Veggie Society..... I like the sound of that.:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:Oh yes, that reminds me, when I was working, I used to take Annual Leave to avoid the works Xmas "do".

Huddle in the corner and eat beans !!

I know someone else like us ...she's way Up North .
I have no problems cooking for her !

I'm glad I'm not the only 'unique' person !
My DH laughs, but says he loves me because I'm me !!

Oystercatcher

dronid

Well there we go! Anyone else from the Milton Keynes area?

Today Milton Keynes, tomorrow the world!

D'you know I know a lot of women who find cooking upsetting. It's something most men I know don't worry about. They're either good or not and either way they don't care about it so much. Stereotypicaly there's a lot of pressure about cooking and living up to maternal ideals which apparently nowadays include the term domestic goddess rather than someone who copes with everything. Nigella has a lot to answer to, swishing around with nice outfits and never getting anything down them.:rolleyes:

mardatha

LOL, Lame wolf, I always say my OH is like Hyacinth Bucket , and I'm like her neighbour. As soon as Hyacinth appears, the neighbour starts dropping things..
my husband is one of those annoying prats who will always say MIND THAT LAPTOP and that gives me such a fright I dropit/stand on it/sit onit.

lilac_lady

I cook a lot for people who visit me (friends and family). Inside, I'm always worried that they won't enjoy it and when I eat my own meal with them, I don't taste it. I put a smile on my face, make sure everyone has plenty to eat and when they're gone I tell myself " never again!" (till the next time). If I have any more than six people at a time, it's a buffet - no exceptions.

Hay_2

Meeee!I'm 10 mins away in bedford:beer:

I'm soooo the same!I will happily cook ANYTHING for my hubby and three kids.
I'll experiment and honestly not care...buuuut for anyone else...I panic!
This year for the first year ever I asked my mum if she'd mind me cooking xmas dinner(she normally does it) and I got her to double check I was doing everything right..I'm 33 years old:o The WHOLE meal I was like.."is that ok" "are they cooked ok?".It was actually really nice tbh but boy was I nervous!!

I HATE making tea/squash/coffee etc for people~is it too strong/weak/milky.Making a sandwich there's the old "is that too much/too little butter blah blah.
I have no idea why though:rolleyes:

Gingernutmeg

I think probably everyone has this fear, to some extent. I worked in catering for a number of years and although I can cook for lots of people, I can't say that I ever really 'enjoyed' doing it ... far too much pressure. I LOVE to cook, and love baking etc, but I find cooking for people 'socially' a real strain - it's one of my guilty secrets that I don't really like to cook for people. Partly because people know I've worked as a chef they tend to expect fantastic gourmet food from me, which is a massive stress, and partly because I just don't find cooking for 'dinner parties' a fun or relaxing thing to do, mainly because I put so much pressure on myself (a throwback to when it HAD to be perfect). Also, having a family with a background in catering means that any family meal is like cooking for every food critic in the country, all at once lol Also, cooking commercially is much less 'personal' than cooking at home ... I still HATE it when people watch me cook lol. It's not a spectator sport!!

We recently moved house and the first meal I ended up cooking was a full roast for one of OHs 'bosses' - I didn't know where anything was, the oven was playing up and EVERYTHING went wrong lol ... at least in my head it did. The meal was fine, OHs boss loved it, OH loved it, even I thought it was ok! I think possibly we all put a bit too much pressure on ourselves when we're cooking for other people, and it's really not as bad as we think it is. So many people can't cook at all that they're impressed with anything lol - it's helpful to have a few recipes that you know you can do. NEVER try anything for the first time for a party, as you can guarantee it won't work. I think it's a matter of building your confidence too, which is easily done when you've had a few triumphs. Remember that there's no chef in the world who's never burnt anything (we call it 'caramelised' ) and there's not a soul on this planet who's never made a mistake.

grunnie

That is me as well. I can cook for family but get very very stressed at even the thought of cooking for the outlaws or anyone outwith the immediate family possibly because my late MIL was so critical and as a new wife 34 years ago she made me feel so useless. I now do a help yourself buffet style with loads of cold meats salad stuff homemade bread etc and people just help themselves

dronid

It looks like there's a pattern here. See Sumo52, there are a lot of :grouphug:people with similar issues so you are not alone.:grouphug:

To all of you who have a problem with food and guests - do your family/friends know you have an issue with it? If not, I think you can see what it's doing to you, not discussing it.:eek:

CRANKY40

I hate cooking for other people too. I hate feeling stupid, so worry in case it all goes wrong.

I'm breaking myself in gently with my friend who doesn't cook and is grateful for whatever I manage to throw together, and the children from down the road who come to play with ds. They seem to like whatever turns up too.

I'm 42, and not a bad cook, but I completely understand where you're coming from. If anyone comes round that I think is more competent in the kitchen than me then I immediately suggest a takeaway (not that it happens often, I don't generally invite people for meals.....).

lilac_lady

I've never told anyone how I feel and have a reputation for producing a meal at a minute's notice. When I see the tv property programmes where people want to buy a kitchen/diner so that people can watch what's going on with the cooking I immediately think "I'd put a wall there!"