We have just lost our 14yr old lab

MrsE_2

missstropy wrote: »

Weve been looking at photos of her today to get blown up and put in a frame.

And the vet centre should ring us next week about her ashes. Yes I know its not moneysaving but I paid to have a private cremation, cost an arm and a leg but shes worth every penny, she can come home where she belongs, as my daughter says she can be put on the mantle peice like pauling fowler (eastenders) Its not funny but I know what she means

We've got Ted in a wooden curled up sleeping cat sat on the hearth of the fire place.
I feel hes still with us, rather than out in the garden on his own.

foreign_correspondent

missstropy wrote: »

I cant seem to stop crying tonight. All the kids are asleep, OH is asleep and all I keep thinking is why didnt I ask the vet last night if it could be food poisoning or something like tyhat. Bessie was fine apart form being old and a bit stiff christmas day. I just took the vets word for it and he didnt even check her with a stethascope or anything.

I clocked the computer at 8.15 and he had her already down as deceased and she wasnt.

Why didnt I question it

She had had loads of crap to eat (like they do) over christmas, It could of been something simple. She could of been here now if I had of asked questions but I was in shock kind of

I think she was very probably on her way out and the vet had no doubts about that - I used to work in the NHS and I know the nurses had an uncanny knack of knowing whether someone was dying, often much more accurately than the doctors did.

I think from what you said she was probably very close to the end, and the vet may well have picked up plenty of signs when he carried her in from the car and had a quick look at her - sometimes putting the dog through extra checks is unneccesary and might have put her through more dscomfort.

Thank goodness she had a good time eating loads of junk over christmas, and died feeling safe and loved with her family around her.

I know its a natural part of grieving to think 'what should/could I have done differently?' but please do not keep putting yourself through it too much, you gave her a lovely happy life with a comfy bed and care and companionship - which is all any dog ever hopes for in life, lovely creatures that they are!

ETA - and for the welfare of the dog its kinder for that final decion to be made a month too soon rather than a day too late - I know its tempting to want to keep them with us for as long as possible, but helping her to avoid suffering was the final gift you could give to your lovely old friend.

southernscouser

It's natural to think what if, or should I have done this or asked that.

When my woofer died my mum insisted we ask the vet to double check he had passed away. Never mind the fact he was as stiff as a board. :rolleyes:

It's just human nature but the vets know what they are doing. You feel or wish you had done more to help your pet and more to ease their suffering or pain but there was nothing more you could have done. You gave a dog a fantastic life, a loving home, and no doubt more treats than you should have.

Try and remember all the good times you had together. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to laugh, laugh. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

I promise you it does get easier with time.

:grouphug:

missstropy

Stephb1986 wrote: »

I dont know what to say really but if Bessie was in pain would you want her to be here now like it. Its a real shame that animals can't talk and tell us whats wrong. Im still crying

I hope that if she was in pain that she is no longer in pain and in a better place. I know the next time Kay (my lab) has cancer we wont let them operate as she is already 9 so it would be too much for her.

Im devastated for you i really am i wish there was something i could do or say to bring Bessie back.

Steph xx

thanks, I wish I could bring her back too, she didnt seem in pain infact she never whimpered once, Im just praying I did the right thing it is doing my head in that i didnt ask the vet. It was late and I had 3 kids with me and I panicked and I believed the vet. Whatever it is it will torment me for ages because in my panick I didnt ask.

Both my cats have been poorly today and it set my mind wondering if it was just overeating or somehting not so serious

red_arrow_2

Thanks for all that have contributed to this thread-I too, keep going over things & wondering if we could have done anything differently- we paid £200 to have her put on a drip last night to see if it would give her a boost, but she was just so weary when we saw her, & she was unable to walk any more. She still managed to wag her tail at us, though, which broke my heart. However, you just seem to know when they`ve had enough-after the friend & companion she`s been, particularly to me, then I just had to do that for her, & set her free. Feel so raw, though, & miss her more than words can say.

mutley_muppet

Hugs to everyone who has lost a loved family member. !!{hugs}}

I lost my old dog Ben just over a year ago. He was 13 and I miss him terribley and still cry when I look at his picture BUT I can take comfort that he had a great life and was loved very much.

Dont be afraid to cry. Anyone with any compassion will understand that it is very natural to grieve.

Take care.
MM x

MrsE_2

red_arrow wrote: »

Thanks for all that have contributed to this thread-I too, keep going over things & wondering if we could have done anything differently- we paid £200 to have her put on a drip last night to see if it would give her a boost, but she was just so weary when we saw her, & she was unable to walk any more. She still managed to wag her tail at us, though, which broke my heart. However, you just seem to know when they`ve had enough-after the friend & companion she`s been, particularly to me, then I just had to do that for her, & set her free. Feel so raw, though, & miss her more than words can say.

I still cry now, but not as much:o
We got a kitten about a month after & its helped somewhat in the physical sense, its a small fluffy animal we can pet & fuss over.
But in the mental sense its still a gaping hole.

missstropy

I am taking notice of the above posts. A vet is a trained animal Dr, they obviosly know when an animal has seen enough or what can be done to help it. Obviously the vet knew what he was talking about, Im just being silly and selfish wanting my bessie forever.

foreign_correspondent

missstropy wrote: »

thanks, I wish I could bring her back too, she didnt seem in pain infact she never whimpered once, Im just praying I did the right thing it is doing my head in that i didnt ask the vet. It was late and I had 3 kids with me and I panicked and I believed the vet. Whatever it is it will torment me for ages because in my panick I didnt ask.

If the vet felt it was her heart I think he would have known that for sure, without doing a lot of tests. Also, just to think analytically about it - why would he lie to you? Vets dont like putting dogs to sleep, and if you think about it logically it would have made more money for him to keep treating her and bill you for more treatments, so what could his motives have been?

We had a dog years ago that had cushings disease, in hindsight I wished the vet had advised us to PTS sooner - he kept encouraging my aunt to try more and more treatments, till we began to wonder who we were doing it for... he was a lovely, gentle old chap and we were really putting him through it. In the end we went to another vet who agreed it was unfair to keep pushing him along, and we let him go. It hurt us a lot to lose him, but it would have been crueller to persevere.

missstropy

I have to look at it in the postitive way in that I did the kindest thing for her and we were all with her from 6 weeks old to the end of her 14 and a half years.

Still crying though, I didnt cry this much when my granny died mind you she didnt live with me for 14+ years