DMP Mutual Support Thread (Part 5)

Toffee_Penny

yeah we fine now, he does my head in with bloke things and I do his head in so we are a proper couple Just realised that we both got in to the mess and there was no easy way out so we had to work together. He is only with me for the ppi!

I just feel so sad for the poor souls that write on this forum about feelings with suicide because of debt and I just want to hug them and say it will be alright.

Alot of people say 'it's only money' well yes it is but the pressure put on relationships and families because of it. Its really hard to stay strong sometimes.

Kudox

Ha Ha the "its only money" thing is easy to say when you have it:rotfl:
You have to stick together in the debt thing, it worries me when people post they are hiding debts from their OH's.
Thank God for this site, and cheers to you Toffee for the good advice and laughs:A
Must be getting emotional now given the late hour :rotfl:

ad1jnl

I've had suicidal feelings but not directly because of the debt - defo linked though. The thought that you'll never get out of it and the struggle to get by and ending up getting in to more debt. I'm so glad that I decided to do this - it really has taken some of the pressure. Now I'm just getting angry reading about the way some of the creditors treat you - getting the feeling I could be up for an argument with them - BUT I'm just gonna ignore calls and let them write to me.
I've been totally honest with parents and a few other people about the debt. I don't feel ashamed any more - I feel f*****g stupid for not doing something sooner and glad I'm finally trying to sort it. I will never get another credit card or overdraft again. And where possible pay by cash.

Jon

billybobberyl

i feel bad that you posted so late that no one was here to reply, so i know its a bit late but thought i would send you ad1jnl one of those weird looking hugs! (((((hug)))) i know how you feel and it causes major problems between me and OH and is still a bit tense at the moment as dmp not up and running yet but i know we can get through it.
and so can you, i also feel bad when i read how low and desperate people feel when struggling, then i realie sometimes i feel that way too.
Now i feel like i have a support network of people who are not just talking the talk as you are all in the same boat too.
sorry for going on a bit just wnted you all to know that even thouhg i dont say much here i read daily and you all help so much.
Shutting up now x

geoffmr1

Hi ad1jnl,

Can I just echo the feelings of billybobberyl. I won't pretend I've ever felt suicidal as I haven't but my debts have caused me depression for which I now have to take tablets daily. It's also caused a real strain on my relationship & left me physically drained to the point that I couldn't even be bothered to play with my two young children (4 & 7). This in turn made me feel even more guilty & I ended up hating myself. The tablets have gradually made me feel better but I still know its a very, very long road ahead.

I changed my whole life because of my debts moving away from all my friends in London to the middle of nowhere in Suffolk, I done this due to the house prices. I think I may always feel bitter about it as if I'd known about the National Debtline & DMP's I wouldn't even be in debt now & would still be with friends & my OH near hers.

suze72

I just dread to think how i'd be feeling if I were going though all this without the support from you guys - wish everyone on DMPs knew about this thread it makes everything so much more manageable.
I don't think anyone can really sympathise unless they've been through similar themselves.
Have a good day all.xx;)

geoffmr1

You have a good day too Suze72.

I think the government should be funding advertising for the National Debtline on mainstream tv. I don't think I've ever seen an advert for ND or for one of the free DMP companies on tv during primetime tv.

I only found out about the National Debtline & subsequently DMP's through a chance conversation with a work colleague, who was dealing with his debts & was proud to be doing so. If it hadn't been for that conversation I dread to think where I'd be now.

MRSG2B_2

rachaelfleur wrote: »

I think I will be able to tell them one day when it's all over. I am so proud of myself for finally swallowing my pride and accepting that I can't do it on my own and I need help. Hence being on here all the time, I can talk to anyone without being judged and it's given me the strength to seek help. :j

I haven't told anyone in my family either as too ashamed of my mess, my Mum even asked me once how much I owed but gave her a much smaller amount then I really owe! My OH knows I'm going on plan etc, but he doesn't know the scale of my debts, nor has he asked....think he's much in same boat though. I'm so relieved to finally be sorting the problems out, and to be able to talk to people in the same position....we're not bad people, we've just made some made decisions in the past thats all!

thenightporter

God I couldn't agree more with what everyone here has said.

I can't believe the stupidity of some of the creditors - I honestly can't see what they are trying to achieve with the way they act. We're acting in good faith, they are just morons. The least aggressive line we get from them seems to be 'pay us lots or we'll say nasty things to the CRAs about you' ... ummm okay, think they're missing the point somewhat. I've realised that it doesn't actually matter what we say in the letters because they completely ignore them - all I'm trying to do is create a fat pile of letters to demonstrate that I've been willing to deal with them & they have been utterly obstructive at every point, should we end up in court.

Sent off a formal complaint to Egg last night & a CCA request. I think I'm goint to let the NatWest situation run for a while then make a SAR & look at getting the charges back. I also printed of proff that the first NatWest SAR had been recieved. MBNA have until the 25th until they defaulted on the CCA requests.

geoffmr1

thenightporter wrote: »

Sent off a formal complaint to Egg last night & a CCA request. I think I'm goint to let the NatWest situation run for a while then make a SAR & look at getting the charges back. I also printed of proff that the first NatWest SAR had been recieved. MBNA have until the 25th until they defaulted on the CCA requests.

Can I ask if you had a credit card with egg?? If so & you took it out before 2005 then it's likely the CCA they send will be an unenforceable one.