Depression Support Thread

beachbeth

Tulip - I hope your toe is ok and you are taking it easy.

rosepink - you are not an awful person. You need to look after yourself. Well done for doing all those errands. I know what its like not to be able to go out and to take that first step. You certainly managed quite a lot! Im not surprised you were exhausted later on! Your friend isn't your responsibility and if she isn't answering your texts then that is all you can do for now. It isn't fair for her to burden you when you aren't 100% yourself.

Sssssss - glad your MIL is doing better. They don't always know everything in hospitals.

Im going out to lunch with a nice friend tomorrow and, although I know I'll enjoy it when Im there, I don't really want to go. Ive had a migraine all week and still feel awful tonight. Im hoping it will be just about gone tomorrow though. Ive let this friend down a lot because of illness in the past so Im reluctant to ask her if we can cancel the lunch. She's a lovely person but I don't talk about my depression to her very much. Although she would be sympathetic Im not sure she would quite get it and I prefer to keep to lighthearted chat. (I have a lovely SIL who I can talk about my depression to because her hubby has the same thing so its not as though I need to talk about it to this particular friend.) I feel that if I cancel with my friend again she might think its something to do with her and that Im not keen to see her, which isn't the case.

I keep wishing she would email to cancel the lunch and then its out of my hands.

Sssssss

rosepink1984 wrote: »

Thank you so much I hadn't thought of the Samaritans. I have just text her the numbers.
I always seem to get low after I've been ill and I'm just getting over a virus. Going to see my mum tomorrow which will help!
I really find this thread helpful, its so good to get my feelings off my chest. I feel completely drained now so will talk another day, but thanks for listening - I really appreciate it more than I can say. Big hugs

Hi rosepink1984, looks like you've had a bit of a day yesterday, hope things are better today. Your mission for today should you wish to accept it is 'go and see you mum, maybe buy a paper' BUT no running around like yesterday, lets leave the marathon till next year eh look after yourself and fingers crossed your friend will txt you today.

I'm still babysitting my son but he seems much better today so have decided we're both going to try and get out just to get a few bits and pieces in for the weekend.
I was supposed to have an interview for a job today :j first one in over a year but have had to postpone till Monday.

Now things have been pretty quiet around here lately, I really hope it's because you are all out there partying and not because your are sooo down to post on here. <paranoid mode> party, what party why wasn't I invited

Everyone have a great day and thank you for the kindness and support you share on here towards me and all the others.

Sssssss

beachbeth wrote: »

Sssssss - glad your MIL is doing better. They don't always know everything in hospitals.

Im going out to lunch with a nice friend tomorrow and, although I know I'll , enjoy it when Im there, I don't really want to go. Ive had a migraine all week and still feel awful tonight. Im hoping it will be just about gone tomorrow though. Ive let this friend down a lot because of illness in the past so Im reluctant to ask her if we can cancel the lunch. She's a lovely person but I don't talk about my depression to her very much. Although she would be sympathetic Im not sure she would quite get it and I prefer to keep to lighthearted chat. (I have a lovely SIL who I can talk about my depression to because her hubby has the same thing so its not as though I need to talk about it to this particular friend.) I feel that if I cancel with my friend again she might think its something to do with her and that Im not keen to see her, which isn't the case.

I keep wishing she would email to cancel the lunch and then its out of my hands.

thanks beachbeth it's kinda scary the hospital can get it soooo wrong, one minute they are saying she has hours /days to live and now she has been tranfered to another hospital but we don't know why. To be honest my wifes family are not that close to their mum and after the first call they were kinda all prepared for closure (sorry if this sounds hard but there is a lot of family history there), she really needs to be in a home where she is well looked after but each time she insists on going back home and this keeps happening over and over again, last year she'd collapsed in the street outside and wasn't found till the morning so had spent the night outdoors in the middle of winter.

Sorry you are so stressed about your lunch date, I know it's easy for me to say but ring your friend tell her how you feel and just rearrange the date, that way hopefully she won't take it to personally.

Whatever you decide have a great day. Sssssss

fairydawn

Hi all, Tiff hope you are looking after yourself, sending you lots of hugs x

Katie hope you are well and not to sore x

Hope you all have a better day today x


I am really stuggling, just found out I am pregnant :eek: got to see specialist to see if I am able to carry on with pregnancy.
Having terrible panic attacks and not sleeping to good it all just feels like a vicious circle at the moment.

D x

Tiff_2

Hi guys!
How are we all on this Fur-iday morning?
Hoping all is well with you and yours, guys. Thought I'd better post before you stopped my catnip rations!
I'm sending a warm Tiffy to chardanna (danna)! Thank you for posting hunnie - you're more than welcome here. Come on in - the people are lovely and will help you settle in!

As for the rest of you, please feel free to take the hint!

Be kind to yourself guys.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Jo_R_2

Hi all

Hope everyone is well. Have briefly skimmed through more recent posts but need to have a proper read, hopefully later after DD1 at school and DD2 occupied playing!

It's my birthday today, going out for tea later with OH and DDs - quite a quiet affair but means no cooking so is fine by me LOL! Tomorrow DDs stay with their grandparents for the night so hopefully going out with OH, have a romantic date to the cinema planned, OH not usually bothered about cinema but if I pick something he's okay about watching he won't complain too much:rolleyes::D

Tiff_2

Hi alba!
Yes, the Tiffster signed the petition too - Tiffy power strikes again!
Congratulations hunnie - your determination has paid off, as this email I have received shows!

''Government response to petition 'change4life'
10 Downing Street
13 Jan
Reply

You recently signed a petition asking the Prime Minister to "Ensure the Change4life campaign specifies ONLY Type2 Diabetes CAN be brought on by lifestyle & Type1 cannot as it is an autoimmune disease"
http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/change4life/

You may wish to be aware that following discussions with Diabetes UK, the Department of Health have decided to modify the Change4Life advertising materials to make clear that obesity leads to type 2 diabetes.
Prime Minister's Office
Petition information - http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/change4life/''

Me and gordy are very close you know.
Well done everyone who signed!
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi gl!
How are you hun? It's been quite a while since we heard from you - I'm glad that you decided to post again, angel.

gl wrote:

Hi everyone

gl wrote:

As some of you will know, I'm a frequent lurker, occasional poster. Just wanted to post however, in response to the post by Ssssss. My experience was (is) almost identical. My GP signed me on the sick, I told him there was no way I could go home, I was far to busy to be off work (lol). My initial reaction was to bin my sick note, take my ADs and pretend to GP I was off work. (How crazy does that sound now). That was last June and I'm still on the sick. Been very lucky to have full pay for six months, that is now about to drop to half pay and they are now pushing really hard to dismiss me due to ill health. Really stressed about that and the financial implications obviously (I am the main breadwinner) but feel overwhelming relief as I come to terms with the fact that I will never be going back there). My GP said I would never be well whilst in that job. Scary thing is though - what the hell do I do now?

J xx

It can be very hard for us to accept the doctor's diagnosis and to follow their advice. If they tell us we have to take time off work, they say with for good reason. We might not be able to have the insight as to their reasons at the time, as you have said, gl, but we should trust in the professionals and try and follow their recommendations. And there's nothing wrong with asking your dr why they have suggested something and it's always a good idea to discuss our medical care plans with them. Don't forget that you are the one who is being affected guys and your dr should be trying to consult and include you in making any decisions where possible. Your gp seems to have been right from what you say, hunnie and I'm glad that you followed their advice.

It's okay hun, no need to be scared - there's usually always an answer for practical problems. Making plans always helps to make us feel more grounded and relieves the stress.

Been down to the Tiff archives again.
The first thing I'd suggest is a visit to CAB who can help you budget and who will even negotiate with your creditors for you if you feel unable to do so yourself. They are also fully trained in what benefits you may be entitled to receive and also they will be able to advise you on your rights as far as work is concerned, angel. I wonder if you'd be entitled to some kind of severance pay or early retirement due to medical grounds. I'm not a professional, hunnie, so please always seek advice from at least two professionals so you'll have a good range of options. These people are very busy, so please don't wait around. Their link is:
www.adviceguide.org.uk/

It doesn't sound like you want to return to work there, angel and I can understand your financial worries. Now may be the time to look at good alternatives financially. One option for you might be to apply for DLA. There's is no guarantee of course and it can take a while for all the wheels to get turning, but it may be really helpful to you. If you are affected badly by your mental health, you can still qualify. You don't necessarily have to be physically disabled, it's not a means tested benefit and it is awarded purely on how your ill health affects you - not on whether you're working, have savings, etc., and it doesn't usually affect other benefits you may be entitled to. Indeed, it may open more doors to help for you.

It is a nightmare of a form and can feel very repetitive and that's why I always suggest you call for an application and then book an appointment immediately with CAB or DIAL or a mental health advocate asking for help to fill in a DLA form. These people are very well versed in the questions and the wording needed. They are quite successful in getting a claim awarded because they are so familiar with the forms and requirements. You should try and give as much detail as possible in your answers and be honest about how your worst days affect you. Again they are very busy and you need to act on it as soon as you get the form because the form has a set time limit to respond to.
You may be able to get Disability Living Allowance if you are aged under 65 and you have needed help with personal care or had walking difficulties because of a physical or mental disability for three months, and you are likely to need this help or have these difficulties for at least another six months.
Here is their link:

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/DisabledPeople/index.htm

I know things are tough hunnie, but there should be help out there for you. if you have any further questions as to benefits and health, I'm sure the folks over on the benefits board will welcome you.
Hope this helps a little, sweetie.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi rp!
I'm sorry to hear you're so tired out and stressed, hunnie - you must make some 'me-time' for yourself, somewhere.

rp wrote:

I'm so tired tonight. It seems so hard to cope when I'm tired. I'm just about getting used to being back at work, but I was tired when I woke up, and then I had to go to the job centre because I'm only well enough to work about 14 hours a week, and they said I can claim employment and support allowance. That will really help, but the day has been too busy and I can't cope. My brain is too full.

rp wrote:

We have no money, all I have is a little bit of my overdraft left, all our cards are maxed out, my OH is working all he can to get enough to pay the rent next week, and we are getting food from his mother. It's so stressful.

I need to cry and get all these bad feelings out but I'm too tired to cry. It's the only way I can get relief from how I feel.
I know we are better off than many people. I've got nothing to be depressed about. It just seems that the constant pressure of just being alive is too much for me.

I hope your hard work today pays off and you get your new allowance angel. It can feel like we're wading through treacle when we're chasing help and it can be very stressful, but you did well to follow through and apply for it, rp. Crying is good for you hunnie, it is the body's natural way of releasing the bad chemicals from stress or ill health. The trouble is that you can push yourself too much and find yourself too tired to sleep and are very restless when you try to.

You need a Tiffy hug first - - and then you need to sit down with a hot drink angel, and listen to what your body is trying to tell you. Don't worry hun, once everything balances out again, you'll have a good cry and feel better for it. I'm sure it was the stress of all the running around and the finances that has made you feel so low angel, but don't be afraid to go and talk to your dr about it all. You may get some extra help from them while you are going through a rough patch, but you won't know until you ask them. And a visit to the drs is usually very good for allowing the tears to come...usually quite unexpectedly, so make sure your mascara is waterproof, sweetheart!
(Yes - and yours too, gilly-badgie!)

As for the finances, you may find the links I've posted this morning to gl helpful too. CAB can always look at your finances and try to help lighten the load. They are very kind and I also believe that under certain circumstances, they might visit you at home.

I think it was voofy I replied to when I said, that it's not about who's better or who's worse off, it's about the pain you are feeling, hunnie. You are fully entitled to feel the way you do, rp. Of course you're bound to feel depressed and stressed - you're just getting used to returning to work and you're trying to juggle your finances too. Please give yourself credit for this hunnie because these are big changes and you've done really well.

Your final sentence says a lot hunnie and I can understand why you said this.
You need to give yourself some time rp, for every stage to settle down - one step at a time. At some point, life should hopefully become easier because it will all start to become familiar again. Returning to work for example, must have been a huge step but you say at the beginning of your post that you're ''just getting used to returning to work'' now. I bet you didn't feel that way when you first returned hunnie. When we've been ill, it's always hard when you first jump back into the middle of everything and it can be very overwhelming. You're being too hard on yourself hun.
So I think that what you are feeling is completely natural under the circumstances. I'm no professional but, imho, your last few sentences are just what someone who is depressed would say, angel. As I said, please go back to your dr if it's all getting too much rp, because you don't want to burn yourself out. The worst thing you can do is struggle and make yourself poorly again, hun - you have to be honest with yourself and your dr if things get too much.

I hope I've managed to make some sense with my reply, guys - if not, you'll need to get someone who's fluent in Tiff to translate.
I really hope you're feeling a little better now, angel. You know you're always welcome to post and keep us updated, okay?
Be kind to yourself hunnie.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi s!
I'm hoping you're well hun - great news on mil's recovery btw! It just goes to show that it's never over until the fat Tiff sings!

I hope you won't mind but I felt I had to comment on something in your post below, replying to 98jd.

s wrote:

Hi, if you are still worried at the next appointment ask the doc to give you a questionnaire to fill in. It's about 20 questions and should only take a few minutes to fill in, based on this it will show if you are suffering from depression or not. You may even be able to find it somewhere on the web, but might be better to let the doc sort it out.

My initial reaction was..... - .....and I thought I was going to have to give you a Tiffy slap and put you on the naughty step. However, your very last words have saved you, hunnie.

Please guys, don't waste your time in going on the interweb and filling in any of the 50,000 questionnaires you may find. I say this because you'll find a whole range of the darn things and one site might say that you're a very happy bunny, whilst another site might tell you to call the Samaritans!
It's always best to go the dr and complete their form because it's the standard that the professionals use to rate a mental ill health problem. The form is filled in very quickly because you have to tick the box that compares to the first thing that entered your head automatically, when you read the question. You're not meant to analyze it or to hesitate, so that your form will give the most accurate picture of what you are feeling. And of course, no matter how hard it is to admit to anything, you have to be completely honest or it won't work.
And yes s, as you said, it is always better to let the dr sort it out.

Hoping her recovery is continuing sweetie and that things are improving for you too. And well done for visiting your bil too! Keep up the good work. Now all you've got to do is get to that chemist!
Safe journeys s.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx