Depression Support Thread

absolutebounder

beachbeth wrote: »

I totally agree with you LadyM. Wise words indeed. I don't know if someone is reporting posts or if someone is being trigger happy with the delete button, but I wish they would stop. Obviously, if someone says that certain medicines have x, y and z effect and this medication is better than that then, of course, this should be deleted. However, there does seem to be some posts that are being deleted that don't do this. Then when they are deleted the poster feels victimised and picked on.

Rosepink - have a good and relaxing weekend!

I read and responded to Sssss's post that started this off and by the time i had responded it had gone but there was nothing that broke the rules. If people disagree with posts and this includes the mods why dont they have the courage to post their disagreement an then it can be discussed in a rational manner. As LM says it would be boring if everyone agreed all the time. It would be also very unproductive.

flis21

Morning everyone,

Tiff - I will stop moaning about my 5 hours sleep!! But it wasn't insomnia this time, my little boy decided that 4.10 this morning was a good time to get up!!

I am feeling a bit better than I was, although mostly I think through admitting that my depression was coming back. Admitting a problem really is half the battle in solving it!! I have tried to be a bit easier on myself this week and haven't had any angry outbursts, although I have still felt quite upset at times.

I'm sorry there has been some upset on this board recently. When I came on here before this was a real life line for me and I made some friends (like the Tiffster!) that I will never forget. This place can be such a comfort and strength to those of us dealing with some quite horrid conditions.

Anyway, I am pleased to report that I feel a bit better, although I know there is still a way to go until I am completely back to 'normal' (whatever the hell that is supposed to be!!).

Love to all,
Flis xx

whitevanwoman

I got a job interview in 2 and half hours time - just off to have my bath and then try to squeeze into my 10 year old interview suit (fingers crossed it still fits). Am quite jittery now as I am desperate to get out of the job I'm in at the moment - it's affecting my health and they have admitted they've acted unfairly but haven't done anything about it, and because this interview is with Mind, I know that I would have a supportive and understanding employer if I got it.

I found a penny on the ground yesterday so I'll pop that in my pocket and hopefully it will bring me luck.

I'll keep you posted... think of me and send me positive vibes at 11.45

x

Jo_R_2

Good luck whitevanwoman with the interview!

flis and Tiff - I had the usual broken sleep so I sympathise about the lack of sleep, it's not funny at 4 o'clock in the morning when you are wide awake - although I can smile about it now as I picture myself heaving my belly as I try to turn over to get comfortable, think I might just try sleeping sitting up or something!

shaz - that was great to hear about Josh, must echo sentiments already posted being :T:T:T for both of you.

rosepink, have a nice weekend in the big house, sound great!

I'm trying to motivate myself to get out of the house (well, have just been to take DD1 to school but back here now!) to go to the hospital to get more blood taken to check my iron levels. I've got use of a car so I can just drive straight there, get it done and come straight back, but - and I know this prob sounds silly - the car park there is really small and I have visions of driving round for ages missing spaces or people jumping in before me and being stuck not able to park. It makes me feel anxious and I feel stupid for feeling anxious because I know it's not that big a deal, I did it last time just fine.

I know I have to get it done to get on with planning this home birth and I'm feeling a bit better for having typed that out so I'm seizing the moment now and going, so please check up on me in a bit when I post to make sure I have done it - or you can all give me a slap on the wrists for not facing the fear!

See you all later xxx

Sssssss

whitevanwoman wrote: »

I got a job interview in 2 and half hours time - just off to have my bath and then try to squeeze into my 10 year old interview suit (fingers crossed it still fits). Am quite jittery now as I am desperate to get out of the job I'm in at the moment - it's affecting my health and they have admitted they've acted unfairly but haven't done anything about it, and because this interview is with Mind, I know that I would have a supportive and understanding employer if I got it.

I found a penny on the ground yesterday so I'll pop that in my pocket and hopefully it will bring me luck.

I'll keep you posted... think of me and send me positive vibes at 11.45

x

hey wvw goooooood luck, I don't know how you handle interviews, but just be yourself. If you come across half as nice as you are on here the jobs in the bag.

whitevanwoman

OMG! I can only do the trouser button of my suit up by holding my breath..!

Back to the wardrobe for an alternative outfit... panic, panic, panic

Tiff_2

Hi guys!
As you could probably tell, my first post today was a weak attempt to quell any anxiety or animosity that might be around, Tiffy-style.
And tbh, I don't think it worked and I'm sorry but that wasn't really being very respectful either to you guys because I've always promised to say what I feel and not just what you want to hear.
So, let's treat this situation just as we would with any other issue that's posted here - let's drag it out into the daylight and calmly break it down into bite-sized pieces and throw in some good old-fashioned common sense for good measure. Hopefully it will help to reassure us that this is still the same old wonderful thread that it's always been.
I saw some sound advice from our lovely gem and lm and wvw and rp to name a few,, and I quite agree for the most-part. But you know me, I have to go and stick my muzzle into everything - with only the best of intentions, of course.
So all this is just my humble opinion, for what it's worth.

Let's try a change of tack - let's do what this thread does best and look at this situation objectively. If we take the issue back to complete basics, I think it looks a bit like this...

- a post was deleted from someone who has had other posts deleted
- another poster, who has also felt upset at having some of their posts deleted, brought this deletion to the op's attention in an edited post
- the op was very upset and could not see why their post had warranted deletion and demanded an explanation
- the op made a few posts to air their opinion on this matter and was very upset that no explanation had been received about the deletion
- the op announced they were leaving the thread because of the handling of their posts, citing examples of posts they felt should have been deleted because they were directly discussing meds
- other posters encouraged the op to stay, not wanting anyone to do anything hasty and there were a few who agreed with the op's view and there were a few who didn't agree
- the op did receive a pm but remained aggrieved and posted the pm on the thread and made comments on this
- other posters suggested that posts are being deleted because someone has a personal grudge against another poster and could be reporting some posts out of spite
- some posters may have felt uncomfortable, anxious or uneasy because of the inflamed posts

And here's how I'd tiff it.....er, did you bring some sandwiches and a flask? This may take a while...

- unfortunately, even though done probably with the best of intentions, the majority of us have posted something unwittingly and had a post, if not more than one, deleted at some time and without any explanation. Please guys, we mustn't take this personally. This is part of the agreement we accept when we join the site and want to post in the forums.

- we have to remember that this isn't a depression forum - it's a depression thread and it is not the sole purpose for the site being here. Therefore we have to accept the site's rules if we wish to post here and due to the very sensitivity of the thread, we are closely monitored for everyone's welfare. We are guests here and have been afforded some respect by the MSE site in allowing us a dedicated place to air sensitive issues without fear of being insulted or mocked. They are not obliged to have our thread here. As you probably know, this is currently Thread Home No.10. This thread has worked well for all this time and has helped so many people - and to be blunt, it's been done with exactly the same rules all along! The only thing that changes on this thread are the posters and not, imho, the rules.

- the pure logistics of the situation shows that giving a post or pm to explain why a post has been moved/deleted is not really practical. Yes it is and it does only take a couple of minutes to PM someone you'd think - but you multiply that by 18,913 posts made on this current thread alone by 8.50a.m. today over 57 pages and you can see how even two minutes to PM someone can turn into an impossible task because if you did it once, then you'd have to do it again for everyone in that situation.

- just how important was it really, for the other poster to inform the op and the thread, that the op's original post had been removed? We're not stupid, (well apart from me, that is!), and I think there was enough information in the poster's original reply to the op for us to understand their reply. So I can't help but wonder what was to be gained by this action? I only mention this because the poster used bold type to do this edit, when the rest of their post was quoted in a normal format.

- I can understand that the op was upset at the deletion of their post - no-one likes it when it happens to them. It doesn't necessarily mean that you posted something wrong but, if I have understood the rules correctly, some posts are sometimes also deleted because they may be open to misinterpretation. Now I am not saying that this was the case here, and again, I haven't seen the post - and who am I to judge anyway?

- yes peeps, I think we have safely established that the mods and board guides and posters etc. are all human, ('cept for me 'cos I'm the Thread Cat!), and we may all be prone to errors. However, I think we also need to remember that posts that are reported actually go to the abuse team and not to the board guide to deal with, unless maybe they see a questionable post themselves. This should reassure us that there is a fair balance and check system overall. Nothing's ever perfect I know, but I think it's unacceptable to start making personal attacks and accusations against board guides or anyone else for that matter. We have never had that situation on here and there's no excuse for it. Everyone has the right to voice an opinion but there are ways to do it properly.

- personally, I like the idea of the guides posting on their own boards. I think they should do it and it's good for them to have an understanding of the people posting here - and it also allows us to get to know them, which can be a positive thing. Helpful tips have been kindly posted by a guide and we've also had a laugh with them on here too recently. It's been very reassuring to me to have glad and savvy around a bit more and posting. Let's not forget that they are volunteers!

- the op has genuinely and fairly said in reply to another poster's message that they don't think it is as simple as being a case of someone reporting them to the abuse team out of a grudge against them.

- we can't debate every post that comes into question because then there'd be no time for helping - can we lay this ghost to rest now please guys? I know people are upset but flogging this particular horse won't make anyone feel better.

- I can't help but respectfully wonder whether the op's reaction is partly due to the stress he's under at the moment. The op has recently suddenly lost their mil and the op is also due to start a new job on Monday - the first time they've been able to work in 2 years. I'm so proud of them for that!
- now this could be very dangerous ground to tread on, guys and we have to be careful for our own sakes. We can't get caught up in the moment and jump to such conclusions. I'm sure that the abuse team look at each abuse report individually and it would soon start to show up someone who was nasty enough to be reporting someone's posts out of personal spite, and then hopefully, they'd be the ones banned.

- my main concern here is that we don't lose sight of the bigger picture as it were, and jump to any hasty conclusions over who's doing what to whom and why. I can understand how we can all feel vulnerable anyway due to our illnesses and maybe because of how people have treated us in the real world. It can be quite natural then to feel a bit anxious or even over-sensitive as soon as people post about personal vendettas.
It's like a wild fire in the respect that you then start to wonder if it's true, which leads to thoughts of whether someone might be doing that to you, which can go to wondering if everyone thinks you're the one who's being sly to people, which makes you read too much into other people's posts and so on - do you see what I mean, guys? If you are very bothered by a post, maybe step away and go back to it 2 or 3 times before you actually decide what to do. If it's not worth your time, let it go or use the ignore button.

- finally, please don't ever be afraid to report a post. It's not a playground situation and if we bypass the reporting system, we create a ''them and us'' problem. If you see an inappropriate post, it is always better to let the team take care of it - it's not our job and using PMs to deal with a problem usually results in it spilling over onto the thread and becoming personal. Never post your complaint on the thread and never post a PM whether it's from a guide or from anyone else.

So generally speaking, basically it comes down to the contents of glad's post at the beginning of the thread, and savvy's timely reminders of it, still being the benchmark of how the thread works. Please consider these points: you won't change it no matter how loud you shout; you have to pick your battles wisely and please look at the bigger picture. If you feel you have to leave, I'd urge anyone to think calmly abut this first - no-one wants anyone to go. Taunts, insults and accusations will only end up with you leaving via the catflap!

This thread shares a lot of sensitive and very personal issues and the reason this thread has worked so well is down to the trust we have in each other. The thread wouldn't work without it. Trust Tiffy, the rules here are the same as they've always been and while everything evolves, the ethos behind this thread hasn't.

Please believe that I'm not picking on anyone or taking any sides at all. I've tried to be an impartial Tiffy. My only concern is that this thread continues for the wonderful people here and for those still to come. Don't be afraid folks - we can always blame it all on sazzy again!

Right just in case I'm barred after this, I leave you a gift to wish you well...




And just in case I'm not, I'll be under the table if anyone wants me!
Be kind to yourself guys!
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Sssssss

^^^ and just to be 100% clear OP = Sssssss

also OP is not stressed and just because OP is being treated for depression does not mean he can't see right from wrong, for the LAST time there was nothing in my post that broke forum rules.

Tiff_2

Hi wvw!



GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR JOB INTERVIEW, ANGEL!
-
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Sssssss

Tiff wrote: »

- the pure logistics of the situation shows that giving a post or pm to explain why a post has been moved/deleted is not really practical. Yes it is and it does only take a couple of minutes to PM someone you'd think - but you multiply that by 18,913 posts made on this current thread alone by 8.50a.m. today over 57 pages and you can see how even two minutes to PM someone can turn into an impossible task because if you did it once, then you'd have to do it again for everyone in that situation.

yes but not all 18,913 posts are being deleted so the math is totally incorrect, so my argument stands, you delete a post you PM and explain why. To me my posts are more then just a few typed words, they are my personal feelings that I choose to share with others. I will use the same example again, imagine your child comes home from school and says mum / dad my teacher just ripped up my work and binned it without explaining why, would you not be upset and also how is your child supposed to learn what he did wrong. So what if they are volunteers, if they don't have the time then give up the job.