My diary - My ups and downs

smarties84

Hello, got paid yesterday £730 which is what i think i'll be getting every month. I think my tax code has finally been sorted, i have to wait for my p60 before i can apply for a refund on the last 2 months. Hopefully i'll get that soon. I am going to do a quick list of incomings and outgoings, so you can actually see how skint i am and any suggestions may be of help to me!

Incomings :
my wages £720
child benefit £80
tax credits £120
other halfs wages £780

outgoings :
2 loans £300
credit cards £100-£150
littlewoods £35 has been £80 last few months bak to lower amount
rent £465
council tax £112
2 mobile contracts £75 (cant wait to get rid but tied to 18month contracts)
gas and electric £85
internet, phone and sky £50
water £29
other halfs kick boxing etc £30 (no way is he stopping this)
contents insurance £7
insurance for pc £5
car insurance £25
hmrc £25

cannot think if i have missed owt there probably.

natsplatnat

Hi Smarties - just a flying visit as I about to have dinner (I know, eating after 7 isn't good - but it does explain my waistline!)

Have just had a quick look at the figures above, and if my calculations are correct, then you have about £300 after paying your bills. I could go through all the things to try - but I know you know them and will do your upmost to make it work.

I really hope you get through this little downer and that when you get your tax back, it will put you back on a more even keel.

Loads a love, Nats x

smarties84

Hi hun, must have missed something out because there is no way i have that much left over..... i worked it out to be about £200 the other week going by those amounts etc.... which out of that i have to get food and petrol!! eekkkk, enjoy ur tea

i had to borrow some money off my mum last month which hopefully i can pay her back when i get tax back x

smarties84

*Sensitive post*

Well i had a major panic yesterday morning that actually made me have the biggest panic attack i have ever had. I have a lump in my breast and i went into major panic. My legs were like jelly, i thought i was going to pass out. I was hot, sweaty and shakey and i couldn't put one step infront of the other. I managed to get to work and my boss said "are you ok" with that i just burst into tears and he was fantastic, telling me i was having a panic attack and i told him about the lump and we decided i would ring the doc. My boss suffered with panic attacks and knew what to say and what to do to calm me down, i am grateful.
Docs were shut yesterday afternoon, so had to go in the evening. The doc examined me and confirmed the lump. He said he doesn't think its anything "serious" and that from what it feels like etc it seems to be this

http://www.breakthrough.org.uk/about_breast_cancer/diagnosis/benign_breast_condition_diagnosis/fibroadenomas.html

can we post links ? sorry if not.

i have to go bac in 6 weeks but he said it may stay forever and be harmless or it may go....so fingers crossed it goes.... i was so scared xx

mum2one

Smarties, I wish I could send u a big hug, but will a virtual iou do.
You have been through the mill one way and another, but y keep coming out fightening and winning, u need to keep that positive side.
I know its past dads bday, but sometimes its the thought that counts, and if u explain its becoz of x,y,z, (there out of ur hands), he'll understand.

At least you went and got the lump seen to, juat make sure you follow up in the 6 weeks, if your unsure or you have a question go back to them and ask, as sometimes we dont always ask what we want etc.

Two yrs ago I found a lump, major panic got into c my gp he looked, I felt so sorry for him, it was a celebrious (cant spell properly) cyst, and as he touched it to feel it, it burst over him, shot green gunge and spots of bold on to his face! I felt such a fool, but as he said he would rather have 100 people come in and give them the reassurance rather than them panic.

I had another again last yr, but this time they decided to remove it, (done in nurses rm, b gp + nurse), I did ask while they were there could they give me a nice 38C but didnt work!!.
Plz take care xx

smarties84

thank you mum, that post really made me smile - that you have taken the time out to make me feel better, i am pleased ur cysts were fine and i did lol at the puss going over the doc!!! i have got my dad ace presants over the yrs and he knows i have no money, he totally understood but i feel bad coz no one else really gets him stuff if you no wot i mean, i will make it up to him i hope one day.
just watched a film that made me cry, feeling all teary still!! god i sound like a right wet blanket, im not honest!!!

ragstoricheswannabe

I am so sorry to hear bout your major panic (but totally understandable) but its great that your boss knew exactly what to do!!!!!! Keeping my fingers crossed for you in 6 weeks............. just keep up with the positive thinking (easier said than done i know) Meanwhile make sure mr smarties takes care of you (lol! couldnt find any other smilie for relaxing.....)

Loving your story mum2one!!!! but glad it was nothing serious............ cysts are more common than most people think.

Big, big hugs, i am here for virtual support if and when you need it (always thought training as a nurse would come in handy sometime.........lol!!)

keep smiling hun, with us by your side you can tackle anything!!!
love rags
xxxxxxxx

smarties84

Ahh thank you Rags, bless you - means alot that does. Yes my mum made me panic again yesterday by something she said, but i think she is just been a "mum" and wanting to make sure it is just wot the doc said and nothing else. So i told her to come with me in 6 weeks and see the doc herself!!! It is scary and i am still in panic mode as thats wot im like but looking up on the net, i think it is what the doc said. Thanks again Rags x

smarties84

Today i have been in a right mood, i have been very snappy and generally just wanted to escape for the day. I ended up shouting at my partner, step daughter and going bac to bed this pm for a lay down, whilst step daughter, dp and my little one played outside, i did join them eventually and said sorry for been a nasty cow. I changed my pill last month and i missed a period, have found a lump in my boob, have had a constant headache for ages and money problems and various other things, i just wish i had the money to get away for a bit as i think i am in need of relaxing time but that won't happen. Couldn't even afford to go on one of them sun holidays after saving all the tokens. Can u tell im feelin sorry for myself!! I must come across like a right whinge back, im not all the time honest!!

mum2one

smarties84 wrote: »

thank you mum, that post really made me smile - that you have taken the time out to make me feel better, i am pleased ur cysts were fine and i did lol at the puss going over the doc!!! i have got my dad ace presants over the yrs and he knows i have no money, he totally understood but i feel bad coz no one else really gets him stuff if you no wot i mean, i will make it up to him i hope one day.
just watched a film that made me cry, feeling all teary still!! god i sound like a right wet blanket, im not honest!!!

Trust me it does you gd to have a cry over a film, I've cried in Hotel for Dogs, and Marley + Me, I sobbed my heart out at the cinema, even confess, we had Marley and Me on the airplane on way out, so funny the crew had forget to pack the headphones so we all watched the film in silence, I still cried..... x