Leaving my Boyfriend

racer256

tara747 wrote: »

Hey racer256, I followed your thread back in May (but didn't post) and am delighted for you xo

Thanks Tara!

racer256

Dinah93 wrote: »

Do you have a big group of friends? If you're very social anyway then go for the guest house, but if you think you might be a bit lonely the all female house may well be better as you'll make new friends and not spend that much time in your room anyway.

All of my friends have moved away I have a few at work so it would be a good thing to be in with people.

lilmissmup

Hi Racer.

Me and my boyfriend split 4 weeks ago after 6.5yrs he left me as we want different things. I wanted a family and he has decided he doesn't. He also never did anything round our house but he smoked the dreaded W which was a lot of his problems.

Things weren't perfect with us either but they could have been worked on, sadly he didn't want to try, he just gave up,

I hope things get better for you soon, and me too. Am around if you want to chat to someone in similar circumstances. We lived together for 5 years, just had to give our house up, i am now on my own with the cats we had.

newcook

lilmissmup wrote: »

Hi Racer.

Me and my boyfriend split 4 weeks ago after 6.5yrs he left me as we want different things. I wanted a family and he has decided he doesn't. He also never did anything round our house but he smoked the dreaded W which was a lot of his problems.

Things weren't perfect with us either but they could have been worked on, sadly he didn't want to try, he just gave up,

same as my ex - I even told him 'you have a year to sort yourself out' which he didnt so I called it a day new years eve 2007 as I didnt want to start a new year with him! he dragged me down for 5 (long!) years despite many attempts to help him overcome his 'problems'. he chose to give up work (no discussion just left - and left me footing the mortgage) but still didnt help around the house - just sat and drank and smoked W and did other drugs.
at first I thought 'he's got problems and thats how he deals with it' now I see that it was HIM that was the problem and no shrink could cure him of that as he thrived off the attention!!!

since Jan 1st 2008 I have been a better person - my mom even made me cry the other night by saying its like having her daughter back!!

things WILL get better for you and OP and anyone else reading this thread living (or just split) with a complete eejit!!!
its all about taking the great big leap of faith - with yourself knowing - you can do it, that you can survive without him and things will eventually be rosy again!!!!

xx

lilmissmup

newcook wrote: »

same as my ex - I even told him 'you have a year to sort yourself out' which he didnt so I called it a day new years eve 2007 as I didnt want to start a new year with him! he dragged me down for 5 (long!) years despite many attempts to help him overcome his 'problems'. he chose to give up work (no discussion just left - and left me footing the mortgage) but still didnt help around the house - just sat and drank and smoked W and did other drugs.
at first I thought 'he's got problems and thats how he deals with it' now I see that it was HIM that was the problem and no shrink could cure him of that as he thrived off the attention!!!

since Jan 1st 2008 I have been a better person - my mom even made me cry the other night by saying its like having her daughter back!!

things WILL get better for you and OP and anyone else reading this thread living (or just split) with a complete eejit!!!
its all about taking the great big leap of faith - with yourself knowing - you can do it, that you can survive without him and things will eventually be rosy again!!!!

xx

Thanks newcook, its nice to hear the stories from people who have been through it, gives me hope

newcook

lilmissmup wrote: »

Thanks newcook, its nice to hear the stories from people who have been through it, gives me hope

well, I know its not my thread but... he completely destroyed me - said I was fat, stopped me from seeing my friends, I hardly ever saw my family, caused rifts at work (we worked at the same place) - nowadays I live near my family and see them regularly, have got back in touch with my old mates (who, bless them, welcomed me back with open arms and treat me like those missed years dont matter) and I am thriving at work!!!

unfortunately I will never get back the years that my close friends and I missed like them marrying their husbands, them being pregnant, etc and that makes me sad (and also angry - but more sad than angry).
however, I am now forming a bond with the kids whose early life I missed and being there for the children who have been born since I have been back on the scene as well as being able to (finally) congratulate friends who have announced they are preggers and been there as a mate!!!

I live alone but my life is full!!!

racer256

Hi everyone, thank you for your stories. Newcook I hope you learn't a lesson and what he put you through has made you stronger and you can take that lesson into your next relationship.

Lillmissup I appreciate your story as well it proves you can do it on your own once I am sorted I will be saving for a flat deposit but I need to get a laptop and bedding first.

On the room front I have found somewhere I am meeting the landlady on Thursday so fingers crossed. x

lilmissmup

Sorry you went through that too. My ex never stopped me seeing my friends but he didn't have any as he was always stoned so just ignored them and eventually they dropped away.

He never used to want to come out with mine though, I had to drag him out each birthday, when he did go out he would have fun.

But it was my birthday on 9th July and he brought cigarettes this year with the last £3 he had instead of even buying me a card. We went out a couple weekends after to cinema and all he did was moan about it.

Another sign it was over I guess. Funny how you only see the signs after its been a little while.

racer256

Hi everyone, just to update you. I moved into my room on Monday and have settled fairly quickly. I am close to work town and shops so I have chossen a great location. I have meet a few of my fellow tenants and they seem ok.

I met up with the ex yesterday to sort out the Electric bill and to try and persuade him to take my name off the joint account but he wants to wait until he gets back from Budapest on the 13th just in case anything comes out of it despite me cancelling all the direct debits on Saturday, I have been told by the bank that they have been cancelled immediately. So am I being had? Well I put a block on it just in case!

Work is busy and I am surprised how well I have got on my own. I am starting my flat deposit fund and when I get my laptop (next week) I will start ebaying and clicking as per the norm. Watch this space....

racer256

Dinah, I had an idea for wedding gifts. Ask for a sum of money for your house deposit. My ex's sister did that and they got a place pretty quick after coming back from honeymoon.