Leaving my Boyfriend

Mutter_2

Doesn't sound as though there is much in the joint account. Could you not withdraw it yourself and divide it equally?
Who gets the computer?

ailuro2

write a list of everything in the flat, and what will belong to who, divide it up equally, if your savings and ebts were accrued while together, then shouldn't they be taken into the equation too?

I've been there, done that, a long time ago, except there was a mortgage involved too. If he's hopeless at organising anything, then take the pc, your own personal goods and all the savings and transfer the flat into his name. You'll get away sooner and have the savings to start over. Freecycle is your friend.;)

Good Luck

jackie_w

Hello There,

Does he know how much savings you have?

If he doesnt know how much savings you have then dont tell him, if he does know, then I think if it were me, I would withdraw all my savings, give them to someone I trust to look after me for a while until everything dies down. With regards to your personal posessions, I would split them in half, the same with the money which is in your joint account. Take your half of the money from the joint account BEFORE you tell him you want to split.

Jackie xx

Purple_Sparkles

If it's a joint account wouldn't it be better to perhaps take half and then take your name off the account so that it becomes your partners sole account and then if he decides to be silly with money you won't be liable.

Swans1912

I'm sure you can place your joint account in a dispute status, allowing on certain withdraws - DD for example.

When don't you pop into the local branch and discuss - or even ask for your name to be removed! - Opening your own account there and then.

EDIT: Start getting your pay (if it is into the joint account) into your OWN account he can't touch. Does he have access to and other joint credit - store card, credit card? Also are all the bills paid up - will you need his money to cover them?

never_enough

I would be concerned that if there is still a joint account open when you split a debt could be run up which could ruin your credit rating if it were not cleared. Can you move any dd or outgoings that are soley yours to another account before informing the bank of the split?

Do be aware that the bank may close the current account completely if you try to take your name off it. They will certainly inform him. Whilst that wouldn't affect you, if it is the only account he has, or where his salary is paid it could dump him in the mire. A friend had this problem, the account was frozen & he couldn't get to his salary for over 2 months. Obviously it made an already difficult situation much more. She, incidentially, had sprung it on him out of the blue too, ending their marriage by e-mail...
Classy. :eek:

Pssst

racer256 wrote: »

Hi thanks, no we rent & the lease is in my name. He has defo not contributed to my savings lol!

So HE's leaving then,not you? Will you give him some notice to find a place or can he move immediately to friends or family?

LondonDiva

I'd get all your important papers (passport, birth certificate, bank statemts etc etc) out of the flat asap & give them to a relative (mum?) for safekeeping.

As above, take out your half of the money left in the account & then send a registered letter to the bank informing them that you no longer wish to be associated with your boyufriend as you have broken up.

Even if he does go mad with spending etc, you can point to the date of the letter to the bank as to when you stopped using the account & asked for your name to be taken off the account.

I would get your head straight & have options in place before doing anything. However, what I'm not sure about is whether you have taken time to communicate your feeliongs to your OH about where the relationship is going. He may feel the same way / want to do some things differently / want out, but until you are able to discuss honestly with him it seems unfair to end the relationship pretty much out of the blue if he's not up to speed.

Good luck

Diva:)

racer256

Hi guys wow! Lots of replies. I am going into the bank today to find out what the situation with the joint account is. I think he will get the computer just as long as he gives me the money for the repayments off his card, if not it is mine! As for my savings he doesn't know how much I have and I try not to look at them on the Internet in front of him. My pay goes into my account anyway, so money goes into the joint acc for bills etc.

LondonDiva- I keep all my docs together but will leave them at my Mums. As for the relationship we have discussed and discussed where we are going but we both want different things. I want to settle down and he is not ready for that. I don't he ever will while he's with me! Nothings changed since we've had several dicussions so I don't know what to do- give him an ultimatium? The last thing I want to do is push him into something he doesn't want to do- he'' just resent me for that.

Thanks for all your help guys. I will update later.

Dinah93

Doesn't sound like everything is rosy except for you wanting more of a commitment than him, don't push it, you'll regret it. When something is right you'll know.