Will somebody give me a free child?

elona

I have enjoyed reading this thread.
I had to give up my job when I had twins 19 years ago.
Parents and other relatives lived 300 miles away and childcare for two would have wiped out my salary by the time I also paid for train fares etc.
Twins were so difficult I was the only one who could handle them. ( I include excellent health visitor etc)
Finally after years of battles got them off special statement as no one other than me would believe they were not what used to be called "backwards"
One is now at Medical school ( as a student - not an exhibit ) and the other is employed and happy.

My two youngest got less time and attention yet have thrived and I feel that what I have done has been worth it.

It really hurts me when my daughters refer to me as having "retired" as my youngest is only ten I want to be here when she gets back from school and yet feel that I should be out earning as society seems to have no respect for anyone who wants to support their family in a non monetary way.

MSE has been invaluable as a way of making money go further.

jellyhead

hi elona,

i think it's important to be there when my son finishes school too. i work part time, just a few shifts during school hours, no holidays or weekend or evenings. i think it would be harder for me to be so picky if i didn't have a husband who worked full time. all the single parents i know who work part time and get tax credits have to work in the school holidays and use childcare. my little boy (8) has had a few problems but has just had his statement of special needs taken away this year. he's doing okay but he hates childcare. i finished my degree off thinking i'd be working once he was at school but it just didn't work out that way, he and i are both happier with my only working while he's in school.

don't let anyone make you feel bad about being at home, being a single parent is really hard and you're doing your children a lot of good by being there for them (in my opinion). perhaps you could look at working when the youngest goes to high school? you could maybe go to college/uni in the meantime while she's at school? just a suggestion for if you really want to get back into work. me, i work at mcdonalds. i got a lot of stick off my family and friends for getting a first class degree then choosing an unskilled job but the hours are the most important thing for me - apart from working in school (my long term ambition) i've never seen any job so flexible about hours.

i've gone off topic, apologies!!!!

regarding the original post, yes i see your point. i think there are too many strategies aimed at babies being born now and they're just not necessary. i think the best thing the government could do for kids would be to bring back the student grant, but that's another vent lol!

Spendless

regarding the original post, yes i see your point. i think there are too many strategies aimed at babies being born now and they're just not necessary. i think the best thing the government could do for kids would be to bring back the student grant, but that's another vent lol!

So what are peoples views of why things like help towards childcare costs have been put in place?

I don't know if this is true of everywhere but my town has only got surestart in the most deprived areas.

A single mum friend of mine is able to claim WTC and CTC, get 70% of her childcare costs paid and the maintainance of her ex-husband is not taken into account. She actually has a very similar household income to my own with 2 adults in it.But she does have to pay her mortgage,council tax, school dinners out of her money.

Now if CTC and WTC hadn't been about she would have had to go on IS instead, where she could have claimed help towards housing, council tax, school milk, school dinners.

So is she not costing the taxpayer less because she does go to work?


I live in the middle of 3 relatively affluent villages in the town. The schools in my village and the surrounding ones do not have any breakfast, after school or holiday clubs. A friend of mine attended our schools parent/governor evening and the subject came up. The heads reply was that she is unable to get the funding to set one up because the funding requires her to have x amount of kids eligible for free school dinners and she doesn't have enough.

I don't know if this is the case everywhere but if funding for kids clubs relies on children being eligible for free school dinners then aren't kids clubs being put in place to encourage parents of IS and into work














Or am i being cynical



:-/ :-/

elona

Bargain bunny

Thanks for your support but I feel I am under false pretences as I am not a single parent.
Husband had to work long hours when kids were young because of his career so main time and battles were down to me.
I am a graduate and have recently gone to study computer skills to get into less of a rut.
Next year my youngest is at "big school" so I can think about a job then.

Trouble is that your confidence goes .

Thanks for the good wishes.

Spendless

Bargain bunny


Next year my youngest is at "big school" so I can think about a job then.

Trouble is that your confidence goes .

Thanks for the good wishes.

How true. You do loose confidence being out of the workplace. By big school do you mean secondaty school elona?

elona

Spendless

Yes it is called a Grammar school but is actually a good comprehensive.
The irony is that I used to be a careers adviser so now I really understand hoe women returning to employment feel.

IvanOpinion

We are another childless couple (not by choice) that is sick of having every allowance taken away from them. In the last 5 years after we take into account my pay rises etc. the changes to my tax code has meant that my take home pay has gone up by a whopping £12.49 ... abd during those 5 years I had a reduction in my take home twice.

The bit that annoys me most is the stupidity of some of the proposals (here are only a few examples I can think off fro the top of my head)
1. schools should open earlier and provide breakfast for children
2. schools should remain open much later so that parents don't have to pick their children up until it suits them
3. schools should provde a 1:1 classroom assistant because their child has special needs
4. nursery places and care should be provided from 5 minutes after the baby is born (spot the sarcasm)
5. Paternity leave - blatant discrimination against people who do not have a child. Give everybody the same holiday entitlement.

And parents don't think that they should pay for these things. In fact they want the tax payer to pay for them and that they get refunded as tax credits ... which means that childless people foot the entire bill.

Several people have posted about mothers/fathers staying at home but can't afford to. Why not allow the working spouse to claim the full tax allowance of a non-working spouse. Thismay encourage some people to stay at home.

I do appreciate that there has to be a balance but at the minute the pendulum is swinging far-to-far to one side. If you can't afford children then hold off until you can.

Ivan

tru

I refused to work unless hubby was home or I could get a job term-time only. For a few years I worked evenings, then I got a job in a school kitchen. I applied for loads of school jobs, so many mums want them that most were gone by time I rang up, it took me 3-4 years to get one.

There is no way I would send the kids to school early for breakfast. I think it's important to be there before and after school. And we weren't loaded before anyone says 'yes but you were lucky, you could obviously afford to do this'. We've been on benefits (redundancy) and had low-wage jobs. Sometimes I'd go for days eating just toast so the kids could have the 'proper' food (no I don't want sympathy, I like toast ;D)

Spendless

The bit that annoys me most is the stupidity of some of the proposals (here are only a few examples I can think off fro the top of my head)
1. schools should open earlier and provide breakfast for children
2. schools should remain open much later so that parents don't have to pick their children up until it suits them
3. schools should provde a 1:1 classroom assistant because their child has special needs
4. nursery places and care should be provided from 5 minutes after the baby is born (spot the sarcasm)
5. Paternity leave - blatant discrimination against people who do not have a child. Give everybody the same holiday entitlement.
Ivan

1& 2 as per my earlier post - at my school they need funding to set this up they can't get it cos they don't have enough kids eligible for free school dinners. Why do you think the funding is set up this way Ivan - you don't think it's a way of getting the unemployed back to work do you

3 - The special schools in my town are under threat of closure. My dad works in one - not another cost-cutting exercise perhaps :-/
4 - If you get help toward this i think you might find the answer in answers 1 & 2
5 - Is paid at £100 a week. Would you take extra holiday if you knew it wasn't going to be paid at your full rate - but £100 a week instead

Of course the benefits that have been lost for example MIRAS affect people whether or not they have kids.

Spendless

i like the idea of transferring the tax allowance over from the non-working spouse though. Didn't a political party also suggest this?