Another Debt Free Diary :)

hypno06

ElizabethJH wrote: »

Paid another £5 to Vanquis and cancelled DD so that's now gone...

Excellent news - well done!

You feel crap right now - and that is not surprising, but please don't let that take away the good things that you have done - if he cannot handle you getting your life sorted for the future, then it is HIM that has a problem and not you.

As you say, the main reason for doing this whole "clear your debt" malarky was so you could have a relationship without it hanging over your head. THAT is still the case - it just may be that it is a different relationship to the one you originally had! But.....sooner, or later, you will be with someone, and you will be able to have that relationship without the debt issues you have had in the past......it may be that he is having a wobble of his own, and changes his mind in the next few days, or it may be that you are destined to find a new prince charming.

natsplatnat

ElizabethJH wrote: »

Vanquis........................76.23.....5.........41.19
House of Fraser................100.......15........26

You are doing so well hun!! And by getting rid of these 2 you have an extra £20 now to put toward something else!!!! And no more payday loans!! :T

Am really sorry to hear that you have gone your separate ways... what a fool he is!! Can really only echo everyone elses comments so far and say keep ploughing on with the debt-busting. Once its done it will be a distant memory..... although you'll keep the DFW ways

Big hugs hun!!!!

ElizabethJH

Thank for the support. It sounds right, just doesn't feel it at the moment.

I'm not quite ready for my life to go back to normal yet, though you're right I'm sure I'll find someone else to have fun with in the future. I know that's really what he wanted a bit more fun, not the stress that I was carrying around with me. He wanted someone more laid back, when I stress about the littlest things - and more then normal these last months. I really wanted to get back to the point where we could have fun together, I really hoped he'd stand by me through these months and then we'd be able to celebrate together, but that's not going to happen now. I'm a sensible person and I know what I have to do to get over him but I also know 100% that he was perfect for me. As much as I can say I'll go off and have fun with someone else it's not going to be the same as this ever again

hypno06

**throws a pack of virtual jaffa cakes over**

in times of crisis, I always find Jaffa cakes help.....and these have the benefit of being non fat and free too.......

ElizabethJH

I feel a lot calmer today, not really thinking about it al too much. I kept things back from OH because I didn't want to burden the relationship, but then they came back up again months later so maybe I should just have been talking about it all along? Now if we got back together then I wouldn't think that our relationship is strong enough to handle anything like that so I think that maybe it is definitely the end. I'm only 26 though so I guess I still have time. He really was perfect for me and it seems foolish that I will have to leave him, just in order to look for someone who is exactly the same.

The difficult thing is I really don't need space to sort out my life/head. These few days have been enough for me really, I've spoken with friends that I trust for advise and to listen open mindedly. I guess I'm happy in my life, I don't want a career anymore then I did before, I like where I live, I don't want to go out binge drinking or dress up and pretend that I am 21. I like good food, good wine, good conversations, books and long walks and at the moment I just want to get through these months and pay off my debt and then I can make decisions with what I want to do next.

I do want to get married and have children, and that is probably the main reason I'm so gutted because I thought that was going to happen with OH and that was what he wanted. But to be honest we never discussed it, I mean we never got past the moving in discussion so if he's not ready for that (and I don't think our relationship wasn't ready it was him) then he's not ready for the rest.

Anyhow I think I'm more accepting that it's over now. It makes it easier not to think about whether we had fun together or whether we had a future, I'm just thinking about what's happening today and how that's going to get me more towards my goal of being out of debt and in control of my life so I'm in a position to get the things I really want out of it!!

ElizabethJH

On a MSE Note, I treated my friend out to a birthday meal last night (with £25 voucher I had for organising Xmas meal) With Starters, Mains, Pud and a bottle of wine it came to £10 and I threw in a £2 tip Bargain!

I have organised a cinema night on Friday so that won't be pricey and then working Saturday Night which should cover all that I've spent so far this week. Made a £5 PAD to my MBMA today and am going to continue to try making bigger payments, but I don't want to be caught out as I am still awaiting a reply from the Bailiffs with a breakdown of all my costs (They say I owe £160 still - I say what for? They somehow don't reply to that!?)

I need some kind of confirmation that it is finished with them before I can breath easy so I'm waiting for that before I make any more overpayments to my cards!!

Right off to buy a dog bed for my Mom, I'm meeting with OH tonight, it's meant to be just as friends and was organised earlier in the week when I was still feeling a mess. Hope it doesn't mess me up at all spending time with him.

natsplatnat

Hi Hun! Well done on PAD!! Hope you hear from the bailiffs soon - not nice to keep you waiting, but always forthcoming when they want something (money) from you!!

Hope tonight goes well and it doesn't make you feel bad again!

Hugs, Nats x

LittleEmms

Hi Elizabeth

Sorry I've only just caught up on your diary. I'm sorry to hear your news - but your outlook sounds as positive as it can at this time. I echo what Nats said - I hope it goes well... and only you can decide whether seeing him or not is a good thing going forward .... my only advice is don't rush any decisions .... how you feel one week can differ very much next week.

Good luck xx

ElizabethJH

Ok well, had a good talk, definitely single - it's ok though I'm feeling good. Will update maybe later on.

NSD yesterday not going to meet target as have been buying lunch this week as I just wasn't feeling like eating anything in the house (just been eating apples and banana's)

Slowly getting back into the real world now....

ElizabethJH

Just got my bill from MBMA, they've refunded a further £500. I want to be happy but I have noone to tell