How old before they understand and we have to find a new Sunday afternoon activity?

taliwillow

Hello all,

My husband and I don't have a lot of money at the moment as we have an 11 month old and I am due to have another baby in the next few weeks so we find that watching a DVD together on a Sunday afternoon is an inexpensive way to fill some of the little spare time we have on a weekend. Our daughter likes us to sit on the floor and play with her almost constantly so a DVD is one of the few things we can get away with doing for us aswell as keeping her happy. We were watching a dvd today when I suddenly thought, ooh, should we be letting her see this as it is rated 12. She did keep stopping playing with her toys and seemed totally engrossed by the tv. This made me wonder how much she can actually understand and how soon we are going to have to stop watching things we really like (we tend to watch things like X-Men, Pirates of the caribbean, Van Helsing, Underworld so all at least rated 12) and either start watching slushy stuff or finding a totally different activity? I don't want what we are watching to scare her. What has everone else done with their children and adult films?
We do try to take her out on the weekends but we can't be out all day every day and she does like some play at home, crawling around time so we aren't sure what else to do. Before we had her we used to do puzzles (How old do we sound!) on the weekends through the winter but she would probably take some of the pieces and try to eat them if we tried to do that now.
Thanks
Taliwillow

izoomzoom

LOL, I thought you meant you have another type of afternoon activity :rotfl: .

I suppose you will have to guage what the movie is about. Violence / heavy action is probably quite easy to avoid, but I think age restriction is often about the storyline and it might be many years before your LO realises that.

I remember being 13 and watching Dirty Dancing and a family friend commented that she was worred about letting her 9y DD watch it. I didn't fathom what she was on about, and asked outright, only to be told it was because of the abortion. Now I know I knew what that was at that age, but I honestly did not connect it with the movie until it was pointed out.

In all honesty you'll probably loose the TV to your LO completely as soon as they realise what it is all about. Is Cbeebies on 24h a day yet ?????

Lunar_Eclipse

Personally, I would make sure that everything that your daughter can see and hear is age appropriate for her.

By your own admission she is already engrossed in the films that you are watching, so it really comes down to whether you think they are suitable viewing for such a young child. Adult films often have mild violence or swearing, neither of which I would deem appropriate. Pirates of the Caribbean is also quite scary!

A roundabout way of saying that you know that time has come.

fernliebee

It isn't a clear cut thing, everyone has different opinions on this. In America they suggest no TV for under 2's! But the site below goes into a bit more detail!

http://www.pbs.org/parents/childrenandmedia/article-faq.html

http://www.babycenter.com/0_tv-watching-guidelines-for-toddlers_11746.bc

(though it's mostly american)

I don't know many people that don't let their toddlers (babies) watch any tv though, but personally I wouldn't be happy letting a nearly 1 year old watch 12 films, even if it's only background noise, as their brains are little sponges, absorbing information, and especially language. I would say that even very small babies would pick up on the tone of a film, and music etc, just as babies pick up on your tone of voice.

As I said before though it is such a personal thing, everyone has different personal boundaries and only you know how much your child takes in or if it is effecting them.

sarymclary

I'm still amazed that you have spare time and are a parent!!

I have never allowed anything inappropriate to be on TV when the children are around. That includes any soaps - I have never allowed my boys to watch Eastenders or Corrie, as the storylines are far too adult.

If you have Sky TV, then I can suggest putting the documentary channels on as they have lots of animal programmes like Blue Planet, Planet Earth, etc on them. We also like to watch 'How It's Made', which is really interesting.

Otherwise, when the kids were little I allowed them to watch Cbeebies, especially having a snuggle up on the sofa during the bedtime hour. When my older 2 were really little we didn't have Sky TV, so we got videos for them to watch to give them a bit of chillout time, especially during the winter months. My younger 2, aged 10 & 8 do have a TV in their bedroom, but I still don't allow them to have an arial to access normal TV, and are limited to DVD's/Videos.

There are lots of family films you could watch together as a family, if you're specifically looking for something to do as a means of relaxing on a Sunday afternoon. If you're looking for something aimed more at entertaining you and your OH, then it's going to have to be at a time when you LO is in bed. Does your LO have an afternoon nap? Otherwise, it's going to have to be in the evening after bedtime I guess.

Rachel83

My little girls 3 and loves Pirates of the Carribean Every time she see's Jack Sparrow she runs round saying Captain Jack guess it boils down to what they know is right and wrong she's hardly going to run around brandishing a sword, and tbh at 1st i thought oh maybe it is too scary when we 1st put it on not thinking of the age rating. Just watching it one afternoon and she loved it.

seven-day-weekend

We never let our son watch age-inappropriate stuff, even as someone said, the soaps, (which in those days included Dallas!). We'd also never let him watch stuff which was perhaps officially suitable for his age which we felt was unsuitable.

Even at a young age things can sink in.

So imho you're going to have to find something else to do on a Sunday afternoon and leave your DVDs until the children are in bed.

taliwillow

Thanks all for your replies. My husband and I don't really have experience with children other than our own so I think we hadn't really realised how quickly they grow up and can take things in. Looks like it's slushy stuff from here on in then as at the moment I am so tired being heavily pregnant that I go to bed within an hour of my little girl going to bed.

In response to sarymclary re having spare time while being a parent, I know exactly what you mean, we hardly ever have time for anything other than childcare and cleaning. The only reason we had that time is because I have been seeing a Dr re Anxiety and other things and she reccommended that even though we don't really feel we have the time to chill out, it's very important that we do try to allocate at least a couple of hours a week that we do something for us as otherwise we will be too frazzled to be the perfect parents that I am trying to make us be (even though she is now trying to teach me that a goal of 'perfect' parent is unachievable!). So we thought, lets watch a DVD. Then while watching I wondered if we should be letting her see that sort of thing as I had never thought of that before (again probably due to the lack of experience around children). She doesn't normally see other adult programmes except animal documentaries (although we dont have sky so they aren't on that often) and Neighbours as I don't feel thats offensive in any way. I don't watch Corrie or Eastenders myself as I think they are too depressing and I'm normally busy at that time of night anyway. In the night Garden seems to be a big hit with her though even though it is driving me crazy!

Taliwillow

Oldernotwiser

Rachel83 wrote: »

My little girls 3 and loves Pirates of the Carribean Every time she see's Jack Sparrow she runs round saying Captain Jack guess it boils down to what they know is right and wrong she's hardly going to run around brandishing a sword, and tbh at 1st i thought oh maybe it is too scary when we 1st put it on not thinking of the age rating. Just watching it one afternoon and she loved it.

I think it's more worrying when children aren't scared of scary things! Sometimes it means that damage has already been done.

GracieP

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I think it's more worrying when children aren't scared of scary things! Sometimes it means that damage has already been done.

That's a pretty horrid thing to say to somebody about their child. You may have your ideas on parenting which work for you, but that doesn't give you the right to suggest someone else has damaged their toddler.

Rachel83, I used to love "scary" things as a child and I watched a lot of things that some people here would have considered age inappropriate. Yet I'm a happy well adjusted adult, with good friends, a great marriage and a wonderful relationship with my parents. I'm 100% sure that you have in no way damaged your child.

izoomzoom has it right, children don't generally put two and two together when they are watching tv. I saw Dirty Dancing when I was about 10, I watched it again at 23 and was gobsmacked that it was about abortion. When I was 10 I thought it was about dancing, the rest of it skipped me by. I remember all the excitement about the Coronation Street episode in the 80's where Ken punched Mike, but I had no clue that was because Mike and Deirdre were having an affair. Hell, when I was 3 my parents and I lived in a 1 bed flat and they concieved my little brother there. If anything was going to cause me problems in later life it would surely have been that over an episode of Dallas.

Obviously explicit horror or sex should be off the menu, but other than that the only thing I'd avoid watching around a young child is a christmas movie aimed at adults where it's obvious there is no santa.;)

Spendless

I'd trust your own judgement tbh.

My 8yo son has loved Dr Who for at least the last 18 months, so do most of his classmates. Shops are full of related toys for his age group and younger, then he got a couple of dvds from the series and they are rated 12. I don't have a problem with him watching this programme but if I'd solely gone by the guide on the dvd, it would be classed as not suitable.