How do you know your marriage is over??

maggirl

No, unfortunately I don't have any family nearby.

I know this is going to be hard to do on my own. To be honest, I have been reading stuff on here, there are some real inspiring stories, and I know it CAN be done, Im just scared of what the future for me is once I leave, and I'm putting off the decision. I suppose I just need some virtual moral support, I know it is a lot to ask.

geekgirl

If you cannot leave for your own good then please see if you can do it for your daughter. She is seeing how you are being treated and she sees this as how relationships work. You should not be talked to in this way at all.
I really hope things work out for you.
Remember womens aid, you don't need to take this treatment.

love_lifer

and relate. or counselling through ur GP to help collect ur thoughts and devise a plan

ceridwen

What a little star you've got for a daughter....so...maybe the way to go is to think of whats best for her welfare in this...she sounds like a little darling...

janb5

Maggirl- verbal abuse can really upset you and you start to believe that you are worthless.

When my husband left, I used to meet people in the street who would say hello etc.

I realised I was always looking behind me convinced that they were smiling at someone else. After all why would they smile at me...........!

Only you can decide what it best for you. Dont ever accept second best because you are worth so much more.

How about a call to your Mum to talk, I bet she would love to help you.

Love to you

Jan

fedup78

Hi Maggirl,

I'm going through a similar situation at the moment so know how difficult it is. Not sure I can really offer any advice but just wanted to tell you to make you and your daughter a priority. You deserve so much better.

x

maggirl

Thanks everyone, he has just phoned me at work, going on and on about the phone bill that needs to be paid, which is really embarrasing as I work in a very open plan office and everyone was listening, I was trying to talk normally but they could all tell something was going on. He says it HAS to be paid tonight, his broadband has been cut off today so he can't use his computer, so I will have to pay it on my credit card tonight, he has no access to any money...well he shouldnt have spent so much on expensive christmas presents that our DD wont appreciate anyway. He was supposed to be taking charge of this, but he was going on and on about how he had tried to set up a direct debit etc but BT had got it wrong....Im just fed up with him making excuses, he calls me names when I (supposedly) do things wrong (like burning a crumpet!) but when he screws up everyone else in the world is to blame.

Im just sick of him, but so scared to make the first step.

Emmzi

maggirl,

please, please call women's aid. They can help you with that step. They can also support if you decide you will stay.

BartGirl

just bumping this up

hoping that you're OK maggirl....((hugs))

maggirl

Hi everyone, thanks very much for the knid replies and thoughts.

Well, Christmas wasn't as bad as last year, but this was because my expectations were lower- he did get up to watch some of the presents being opened and he also cooked Christmas lunch, but we werent really talking much.

So now it is all over and there are no major family events (like Birthdays) to worry about over the next few months, I am seriously thinking about getting out of my marriage.

At the weekend he was going on and on about our physical relationship (which is fairly non existant at the moment as I have lost all respect for him)

I never call him names, but he seems to think he can just say whatever he wants to me; I must admit recently I have been sharing a room with my DD as much as I can to keep out of his way, and he also snores and wakes me up all the time. He says this is not normal, but I know loads of people who sleep seperately, especially when one partner snores or has different sleeping patterns. He was trying to get some "attention" (this was at midnight on Friday and I was shattered from a hard week at work) and when I was not interested, he stormed off and called me a frigid lump, he was then muttering about finding someone else who WOULD appreciate him.

I dont think he would ever go looking on the internet, or even have an affair, I wish he would, as it would give me an even better excuse to leave!

sory for the rant, just totally fed up.