Am I completely unreasonable?!

ikkle87

Text her back, and say ''We thought your idea of choosing our own presents and then sending each other the bill was a great one, we might have gone a bit overboard though as the gifts we have chosen and ordered come to £350, when do you think you can drop the £298 off?''

aliasojo

Lol @ ikkle.

wendywitch

Purple_Sparkles wrote: »

I can't believe the cheek of them! I'd not even bother replying, give them a token gift if you have to but I'd be more inclined to donate whatever money you may spend on them to a charity and then wrap the receipt up in a big box and give them that. You can bet they'll never have had a gift like that before.

Nowt wrong with being a Witch by the way

Totally agree! love WW

seven-day-weekend

What a cheek!

Tell them you can't afford to buy Christmas presents and you don't want them to buy your family anything either.-( Ah! Just read the previous page - I think the Cambodian children is a great idea - I would tell them you have already bought so you won't be paying any more!).

Primrose

Could you drop her a friendly note saying that with the economic crisis you feel it's inappropriate to continue spending in this manner and that you're embarrassed that she's tried to put you in this position. Remind her that it doesn't reflect the spirit of Christmas to hijack somebody else and do the moral equivalent of putting a pistol to their head to cough up for presents that she doesn't know whether you can afford or not. It may cause some temporary embarrassment, but unless you nip this kind of behaviour and expectations in the bud, you and your OH will be going through the same kind of experience every year in the future.

piglet74

i have just read this thread and i am GOBSMACKED! i cannot beleive someone would do such a thing!!!

i would let reply to the text now saying "i hope what you bought is refundable, and you kept the receipt" and i would let her know not to do that again, puttign you in such a position, if you go with what ur OH says and give them both the meal for the 70 kids and pay for what she bough, this will happen every year from now until doomsday!!!

give her the meal and get her a personalised card from Moonpig or somewhere, and write something in it about the "true meaning of Christmas" or maybe just "its better to give than to receive" then buy your OH a new SIM card for Crimbo and dont give her his new number!!

what a cheeky £$%^&!

elastigirl

gymfiend wrote: »

Am I being unreasonable in getting annoyed at this?

No your not omg people are so rude and greedy.
i am just having the same problem with my dh's family i was so mad with mine dh kept having to say calm down then that got me annoyed with him. He is so laid back and soft he accepts everything and i thought i was bas for letting people walk all over me. Guess it is because it his his fanily and doesn't want to rock the boat but bet he would be annoyed if mt family ever started demanding things.
Not only has my family member bought her xmas present from us but has also bought her bday present from us which is around the same time now we owe her £xxx amount of money and has given us the gifts for us to wrap up. Felt like saying you bought it you wrap it, but i am v nice a wouldn't dare say a thing :mad: Can you tell i am still mad?

ema_o

Wow, I can't believe the cheek of her texting we buy you pay. I would definitely not be paying up, I would reply to her (either by text or call her) as soon as possible saying as suggested above - that you have already bought them something and that you hope they've kept the receipts!!
I'm with you that if you only see them a couple of times a year you only have to worry about it then but obviously it should be them who are embarassed!!
Love the idea of a meal for all the children tho!!

Keiju

gymfiend wrote: »

Thanks all for your replies
Well a decision was made my end - I have purchased for them a meal for 70 Cambodian children I feel like I've done a very good deed and the hideous children can be reminded of how very lucky they are to have food on their plates every evening!
However to add insult to injury - on Saturday whilst shopping I received a text to state presents had been purchased and I owed X amount - yet to reply to that one but OH thinks we should just pay up and give the charity gift too to save arguments/embarassment. I however want to stick my 2 fingers up and say I have already purchased a very well considered, thoughtful gift for the family.
The argue will no doubt carry on until Christmas eve!!!

Good for you! I would definitely ignore their requests for you to pay up. Blow the embarrassment. They're the ones who ought to be embarrassed for being so rude! (Although I guess they must be the type of people who are never embarrassed by their own behaviour!)
Whatever happened to the real spirit of Christmas? :eek: I never *expect* people to buy for the children, and regard any present they do get as a lovely surprise!

ceebeeby

I'm trying to give her the absolute benefit of the doubt, and its possibly similar to what happened between MIL, SIL and I. (SIL buys MIL's gifts at Xmas) SIL text to ask if DH had such & such, as she thought he'd like it for Xmas. I text back to say he already had it. I then text back to suggest something else (specialty book). SIL text asking where on earth would she buy that from. I text back to say there was a shop nearby me, I could pick it up if that was easier. Next time I spoke to MIL I said she owed me £14 for the gift ....

So, if you take out all the middle confusing bit, you've got me saying to MIL you owe me £14 for an Xmas present for DH, that I've gone out and bought ..... I wonder if something similar might have happened here (just to give the absent party the absolute benefit???)

If the answers still no, then I'd simply text her a link to this thread - no other words! At least she'll have found MSE and know how to shop cheaper next year .... and she'll understand why she's got 70 dinners!