Am I completely unreasonable?!

rosie-marie

A common problem at Christmas, which I have had myself. I learned to politely assert myself, and not worry too much about the response. If you had no intention of buying anything in the first place then stick to that, don't let anyone tell you what to do, they will get over it and your own family come first. Good luck.

consultant31

gymfiend wrote: »

They're step family of my OH [who incidentally, we see maybe twice a year] - not only for the text sender are gifts expected, also for their OH and children. The gifts would be the best of the best, and specific. And expensive, i.e. £30+ for each child. Last year I heard nothing as I make no contact with them I avoided it well, unfortunately this year they evidently feel a little more comfortable!

I think I would be inclined to say that if we're going to be spending something like £100 on gifts for you and your children, and you will be spending much the same for me and mine, why bother? You buy for yours and I'll buy for mine.

Christmas shouldn't be like this - make a stand now and it'll be so much easier (not to mention cheaper and happier) in the future.

bringmeshoes

on the charity gift front go one better than a cow and buy them a toilet for an african villiage, sure you can organise it through oxfam
imagine the look on their faces when you tell them you've got them a loo :rotfl:

Loretta

I think you should say that Christmas if for giving and that despite the credit crunch we all have so much and don't need anymore junk and that you are trying to bring back the real meaning of Christmas and you are on a personal campaign to change everyone's minds and go back to how it used to be and be a real bore about it and go on and on about it and say you feel it will make you all better people for it and the children will be better for it and appreciate that in poor countires etc etc.... and go on and on and then buy a cow or a loo, that's the best one if it is possible and if they say anything or disagree it would show them as the people they really are, materialistic, money grabbing, rude, horrible and hopefully will never come near you again, problem solved.

Life is too short and money is too hard to earn to waste time and money on people you have no ineterest in. They will probably tell everyone you have lost your marbles but I expect everyone will be applauding you

MsChazzer

blottedcopybook wrote: »

Eeeeeek! See, I have to say that I've done slightly similar with my family this year. I am a hoarder and never throw anything out, and with a huge extended family my kids have been spoilt rotten over the years and my house is so cluttered it's not funny. It's actually very stressful! Hubby and I spent a good few weeks clearing up the kids' rooms and selling off/giving away toys that they didn't play with anymore and I'm NOT prepared to have to deal with this again after Christmas so I've given our parents a list of books that the kids haven't got, and their CTF bank details so they can either get books or get money. A lot of our family would ask our parents what to get for the kids too so hopefully they'll take the hint.

That said, I have zero expectations on what people spend on our kids because God knows I have so many kids and it's tight for everyone right now that we're grateful to just be thought of!

But at least you're giving them a choice and most people can afford a book, they can also choose whether to buy one book or several, just seems more polite than the relatives in the OP.

Definitely go with the Oxfam gift, I wouldn't bother with pound shop stuff they won't use, it's just wasteful. At least this way someone somewhere will benefit.

But the cheek of them!

loobylou2

This is awful, its just so rude. I wouldn't bother buying anything for the adults at all and would maybe just send them a fiver saying that money is tight but you don't mind buying selection boxes for their kids as you wouldn't want them to feel that they'd missed out on a gift from you!!!!

loobylou2

Just thinking, I really like the idea of a cow or a loo................which one do you think would be the most appropriate gift for somebody who is a manipulative hypocrite????

robnye

loobylou2 wrote: »

Just thinking, I really like the idea of a cow or a loo................which one do you think would be the most appropriate gift for somebody who is a manipulative hypocrite????

either cos they are both full of doodoo

mrcow

If they are family, just reply back with:

"No thanks, we'll be choosing our own gifts as usual this year thanks."

I'd send the text so that there is no confusion over what is happening.

angelavdavis

Send them back this message:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFW15m_CXo8

I sent this last year instead of Christmas cards and sent the charity £30.

Whatever, you definitely need to send them a text asap to clearly state your plan - I second the choosing your own gifts or Emmzi's suggested text:

Emmzi wrote: »

Christmas is a time for showing you care, not materialism, and therefore you were planning on giving everyone home made gifts this year, the time commitment being a demonstration of your caring :-D