Childminder is pregnant.

Carmina_Piranha_3

How old is your daughter? Will she be old enough for nursery soon?

I think you should definitely pay her on days you arrange alternative childcare, because it's YOUR decision not to send her on those days.

If I were pregnant I would arrange my scans and midwife appointments onto days when I had as few children as possible! I imagine she will too? Why make things harder for herself. If you are a friend perhaps you could also ask your dad if he will look after her child too, just on the 2 scan days? Or if she arranges them for the days you don't work perhaps you could offer? It would make things easier for her. Depends how close a friend she is of course, and if she wants her own child to be at the scans. At 13 weeks I assume she has already had a scan and probably heard the baby's heartbeat already?

There was a childminder at a toddler group I went to who was back to work ASAP because she couldn't afford not to - she managed really well and gave the two girls she looked after enough attention. She was great, but I know if it were me I would barely be able to look after myself and baby, let alone anyone else's child!!

foxxymynx

Why would a childminder take other peoples children to her medical appointments? The law states that a pregnant woman is entitled to time off work for antenatal appointments.

Would she take the children to a fertility appointment? Or a doctors appointment?

It's unethical for her to take the children to her appointments - other than that what if something is suspected as being wrong at the appointment? What if something bad happens? Not all antenatal appointments are plain sailing.

thatgirlsam

foxxymynx wrote: »

Why would a childminder take other peoples children to her medical appointments? The law states that a pregnant woman is entitled to time off work for antenatal appointments.

Would she take the children to a fertility appointment? Or a doctors appointment?

It's unethical for her to take the children to her appointments - other than that what if something is suspected as being wrong at the appointment? What if something bad happens? Not all antenatal appointments are plain sailing.

the idea of childminding is that it the children fit in with a normal family life environment... when i was a childminder i went to ante-natal appointments with the children i looked after, i did with them what i would do with my own.. eg i wouldn't have taken them to a smear test with me, i don't take my own kids to these!

tbh the boys i looked after happily played with the toys in the midwives room while i listened to the hearbeat, they were not at all interested!

i get what you are saying about ante-natal appointments going wrong but thats a bit like saying don't take them to the park or supermarket incase something goes wrong and they have an accident

fwiw the childminder definantely needs to be paid if the op decides not to have her mind her child on these days/appointment times...

she might decide to take 6 months maternity after all, which could cause more of a problem

toinfinityandbeyond

If your childminder is a good friend,why not voice your concerns to her?? I would be able to discuss anything with my friends so im sure she won't be upset at how you feel.
I also think and forgive me if im wrong,that you make wish it were you having a baby??? I can't see how the heartbeat thing or hospital be a concern otherwise?
Again sorry if im wrong.
And again,i'm sure she wouldn't want your daughter to go to her appointments either.Its very personal!

Pssst

Phew...when i read the headline,for one horrible moment i thought you were going to suggest that you thought your OH was the father..!

silvercar

i get what you are saying about ante-natal appointments going wrong but thats a bit like saying don't take them to the park or supermarket incase something goes wrong and they have an accident

Disagree. Ante-natal appointments are scheduled because pregnancies need monitoring. If there was virtually no chance of problems the NHS wouldn't waste time, resources and money monitoring prenant women at set intervals.

rchddap1

To be honest my main concern would be what happens when it gets close to the birth. Yes you get a 'due date' but that isn't accurate. What happens if it is early and she's taking care of other children? What happens if she needs to stay in hospital for a while with the baby?

I'd be more concerned over those practicalities.

kim_ley

your daughter wont be able to go in the room when anyone has a scan even you as children are not allowed in!
also ofstead has ratios that childminders must adhere to and it could be that by having another baby she has too many children.
I found it hard to the end of my 2nd preg to care for my son bacuse of health problems and she may also be like this.
also it is impossible for any woman to go straight back to work she would need a shortbreak to heal.
She may end up with stitches c-section or like me i was in hospital for a whole week after because complications and then couldnt look afterboth alone. i couldnt even pick my two yr old up!!!!

shirlgirl2004

kim_ley wrote: »

also it is impossible for any woman to go straight back to work she would need a shortbreak to heal.
She may end up with stitches c-section or like me i was in hospital for a whole week after because complications and then couldnt look afterboth alone. i couldnt even pick my two yr old up!!!!

I was working less than 24 hours after having my daughter and I'm not alone. Lots of single parents have to look after their older children after giving birth. Just because you're a single parent you don't get to stay in hospital and "recover". Birth is a natural process. Yes for some women there are complications but there was nothing in the OP to suggest that this is likely to be the case here.

Yes she should pay her childminder if she chooses to send the child to the grandfather instead.

We could all sit here and guess at various scenarios but what the OP needs to do is TALK to her CM.

BernadetteN

I used to be a childminder and looked after 2 children right through my last pregnancy then took 4 weeks off and took on 2 different children once our last baby was born. I'm not aware of any law forbidding childminders from going back to childminding the day after giving birth, or even a week after. However, I personally would not have been able to cope with continuing minding in the first weeks after birth.

I'm a bit bemused that anyone would think it is unethical to take childminded children to ante-natal appointments. I took our own toddler and a childminded toddler to about 4 ante-natal appointments as the hospital only did appointments on the same day each week I looked after this toddler and the mum had no problem with him coming with us and he thought it was just another jolly mums and tots with plenty of other toddlers and toys to play with. If his mum had objected, he would have had to go elsewhere for the appointments. By choosing a childminder, you have to understand that it's a home based setting and life does not stop because of the childminded children, rather the children become a part of the family. The best childminding relationships are ones where you feel at ease between mums/dads and childminders and have similar beliefs on childrearing. It sounds as though the OP's views are somewhat at odds with her childminder, even if she is a friend.