Childminder is pregnant.

sparkle03

mum_to_izzy wrote: »

My childminder (who is also a friend of mine) has today told me she is pregnant, 13weeks. She looks after my daughter 2days a week.

My first concern is midwife appointments & scan appointments. This may sound silly but firstly, I don't want my daughter to hear someone elses baby's heartbeat, I want the first time she will hear a baby's heart beat, or see it on a scan to be my baby - does that sound selfish? Secondly, my daughter is always catching any bug that goes, I don't want her to wait in a doctors surgery or hospital if unecessary. My Father is willing to look after her while she attends these appointments, do I still pay her?

Secondly, when she has the baby she is planning no time off. Literally have the baby and continue childminding. I have concerns over this, biggest concern that her main attention will be elsewhere and my daughter will not receive the care she currently receives. She also has a nearly 3yr old that is quite a handful. Would anyone else be concerned, or again am I over reacting?

I really appreciate any views over this, I'm a single parent with not many friends, so no one really to talk to.

Hi I dont want to seem harsh here just stating some facts. Childminders have strict rules that they have to adhere to set out for them by ofsted, and as far as I am aware childminders are also able to have upto five children under five years of age.

My point with regards to this is, if your childminder was to take on a young baby there would be less attention for your daughter. If your daughter is like most young girls, then the idea of being around a baby will be very exciting for her. Also its all part of the learning curve, not being the centre of attention all the time will be good for your daughters social developments.

Your worries about the heartbeat and things are fine everyone is entitled to their own views and wishes on this but your father has already volunteered his services so therefore worry over?

With regards to pay this should be set out in your contract and if your are in receipt of tax credits to help pay for childcare this matter may be taken out of your hands.

I think you really need to ask yourself are you letting these worrys rule how you feel because you are not really happy with your childminder?

pandora205

How old is your daughter? If she is 3+ you would be entitled to the 'nursery education voucher' (NEG) equivalent (actually basic funding for 5 sessions at a preschool or nursery), so that might be an option.

silvercar

How flexible is your work? My concern would be that a pregnant childminder increases the risk that you will find yourself short of childcare at short notice. Do you have a back up plan?

I also think that anyone claiming they can pop their baby out one day and be back at work the next is being extremely optomistic.

scotty1971

my partner is a childminder,i think you are getting worried over nothing,people choose childminders because they offer a home from home enviroment,which does include appointments,shopping and other things you would do in your daily life.
if you are so against her going,by all means let your father watch her,but i would say 100%,you would need to pay the childminder,not her fault you object.
and as she only watches your child two days aweek,there's every chance the appointment might not be on that day

sarahc44

I can understand the appointment thing and would almost definately feel the same about my daughter seeing/hearing someone elses baby, I know some have said they find that strange but I don't think it is.

I would be more worried now that in a few months your chilminder will not be able to have your dd, she may find she wants to stop closer to the birth for health reasons or may have just had enough of being big and pg and working, what if she goes into labour with your dd there? Her new baby may not be an 'easy' baby so she may not want to start work straight away .Maybe an alternative should be looked for now rather than later x x x

fguk

Regarding maternity leave and self employment. As a self employed person doesnt have to follow many normal "employee rules" (working time directive, minumum pay etc), I very much doubt it is illegal for her to work when she wants.

As a man, dare I offer an opinion on the rest of it......It is understandable to want to be 100% sure you daughter gets the best care possible, but you may well be overreacting a little tiny bit.....

swampytiggaa

I used to be a childminder - i used to do before and after school care for one child as well as having my own 10 year old and 2 year old. I had a third baby whilst childminding - i was doing the school runs up to the friday before i gave birth [on the following wednesday] baby was born 16th December and i started the childminding again when term started in January.

I think when you already have children to look after [of your own] you tend to go on 'working' til the end..... ok - if medical reasons mean that she has to give up then that is another matter - but i would imagine that with a 3 year old of her own the only time she would have to give up your child is if she was hospitalised.

Might be different if she was there full time - but 2 days a week isn't much really for her to be dealing with.

As for dealing with a tiny baby - i took on another child when number 3 was about 3 months old for three days a week- he was just under 2 - so i had two toddlers and a baby all day for the days he was with me.... just organised activities that they could do with supervision whilst i fed baby and made the most of the time that baby was sleeping etc. The boys both enjoyed helping with baby care - handing me nappies etc - and liked singing to the new baby too.

If i was you - and you are happy with her care otherwise - i would keep an open mind and see what happens. It might well work out beautifully

SandC

Whilst I don't really 'get' the heartbeat thing, that's obviously something personal to you and easy to get around by having your dad mind your daughter if appointments were to clash. There's a high chance it won't, so I wouldn't worry about that one. Dare I say it though - you may not have another child and if you do maybe it will be in some years when your daughter is at school anyway so she may not be able to be present at any scans anyway.

So far as the exposure to bugs in waiting rooms goes - well again she is only with the childminder for two days a week - just how often in reality will she be accompanying her to appointments? As another poster also said - there is more exposure to germs while you are in a busy shopping centre or on a bus than in a doctor's waiting room.

As for the childminder having a small baby to look after while also caring for your daughter - surely this will be very good for her - she can help out for one thing - and it's practice for if she has a little brother or sister one day. I am sure that your childminder is quite capable of giving adequate care to more than one child at a time, just as other mothers do.

I say give her a chance, you seem to be worrying over things that haven't happened yet. You know her and she is a friend. If you are worried that she will ignore your daughter in favour of her new baby then let her reassure you.

DaisyFlower

I dont get the heartbeat thing but everyone has their own preferences.

I would be more worried about being left with no childcare at short notice, what if she develops spd etc and needs months off. Also if she has a CS she wont be upto minding either.

If your father can provide care on your working days at short notice, then thats one less worry. If not, you may be wise to start looking for alternative care.

As for having a new baby in the house, I too would worry re the attention levels. As a mum its natural instinct to put your own child first. Tending to a new baby, feeding, changing etc takes up a lot of time so any activities or playgroups etc may go out of the window for a while.

Spirit_2

It is perfectly normal to consider your own childs needs first, however consideration and human kindness also come into play. If appointments are unavoidably scheduled for days she normally looks after your little one, can I suggest that you either ask your dad to look after her for a few hours or try to make alternative plans.

Just think how would you have felt if your employer had asked you to take your work to your ante natal appointments! She has the kind of work that has few rights and offers few benefits - if you value her be respectful and generous with what you can , treat her as you would like to be treated.

We did this with and our childminder, who responded in kind .We did not know her from Adam prior to her childminding but 20 years later childminder still has a bond with with my daughter she flew halfway round the world for the weekend of my daughters 18th and she reamins a close friend.