Kids from well off families beats my lot hands down.

aliasojo

We're up in the Scottish Highlands. Nice enough place to live, good walks/wildlife etc but hardly the stuff a well rounded upbringing is made of.

There's little to do round here that doesn't cost money. My youngest goes to Brownies and swimming etc but anything more exciting than that is really costly, either due to direct costs or associated ones like travel etc..

We had a visit to a local (ish) visitor centre where she tried out the climbing wall and had a lot of fun once she had conquered her initial fear. (She had gone here on a school trip in the Summer and couldn't make herself have a go, so she was chuffed to do it this time.)

We thought this might be something else to get her interested in so her Dad took her on a day out to somewhere that has climbing walls. She loved it and got quite far up considering she was still scared. Problem was that it was £25 a session plus the hire cost of the special shoes/helmet etc.

We also looked into horse riding which was pricey too.

I'm of the view that kids should experience as many things as possible and the more interests they have, the less chance there is of them becoming bored and unmotivated Asbo kids of the future (which you never think will happen to yours but you just never know :rolleyes: ).

So I'm now sat here mulling over the differences in opportunities for rich kids v's kids from more average families. (I wouldn't class us as poor by any means but we certainly don't have wads of spare cash either.)

I've never really thought about it before (I'm not well and have too much time on my hands today :rolleyes: ) but although my lot have had my undivided attention and input since birth...their list of experiences is definitely limited.

Kids who are able to do more things will more than likely be more confident and self assured. I can't help feeling my lot have been hampered by us not being rich.

Don't get me wrong...this isn't a looking for sympathy thread.....it's just that it's really been brought home just what life experiences my lot miss out on, simply through lack of cash and wondered if any of you had felt the same?

What do your kids do for hobbies or leisure interests?

Can you afford them easily, or do you struggle to pay for them? Do you class them as important or just luxuries they can manage without?

I did consider putting this in the Discussion Board but although it is discussing things......I opted for here as this is where the most 'Family' orientated people hang out and I'm hoping for some good ideas which might save me money whilst being good for the youngest too.

sandra_nz

I disagree. We never had much money when I was a kid, so we learnt to make our own fun. We climbed trees, played chasing, and did our own silly made up games with rules that changed all the time!

Money can't buy a good imagination.

aliasojo

Yes, you're right...but imagination isn't always a good substitute for different life experiences, imo.



Also to add another aspect...my eldest is disabled and has no friends (or imagination come to that). If we hadn't taken him horse riding and to various other activities when he was younger, he would have had no life at all to speak off.

SandC

I lived in the Scottish Highlands up to the age of 10 and consider myself far more privileged than any rich kid who didn't get the chance to grow up in the countryside.

Why does it have to be about money?

Even now I know more things about fungus, wild flowers and plants, what is poisonous and what isn't etc. than most kids will ever learn. Your children are lucky, lucky, lucky!!! If they lack the imagination to find things out for themselves then send them out on nature hunts, getting tree bark rubbings etc. Get some nature books in and watch as their interest grows.

I wish my nephew had the chances that I had to learn all about the countryside but being a townie he just hasn't.

The one place that a kid doesn't need distractions costing money is up there in the highlands of Scotland! Kids in towns can't even go out on their bikes for fear of being run over or the perceived fear of abduction! Kids in the country grow up to be rounded, intelligent and inquisitive people.

Little_Otter

I disagree too, I come from an average family, and I am quite a Thrill seeker.
We had a once yearly trip to Alton Towers/Camalot depending on the ages of us at the time (with collected coupons from cereal boxes etc)
For Birthdays, my mum has always got me a surprise unless I specifically aksed for something.
I have had (only for birthdays and xmas, we weren't spoilt) :-
Scuba diving lesson
trip on a submarine (whilst abroad)
helicopter flight
sky bungi (off a crane) was at a theme park, had to pay extra to use it
This year for my 21st I got a red letter day voucher.
When it snowed, we always made a day of it, finding the highest hill to sledge off!!
So I have always had lots of different experiences (I'm sure i've had more but finding it hard to remember all the bdays and xmas') x

vixarooni

throughout my 22 years on this planet my parents have gone from being comfortable, to having no money what so ever to then being quite well off.

The worst bit i experienced was being poor by far. I was about 11/12 at the time, it was horrible and something i never want to experience in my life again. I walked around in clothes that i had for years, my mother went without for even longer just so we had food on the table. It wasnt pleasent at all. I thank god i wasnt even older and really cared what i looked like.

but anyway, at the time i got on with it, i played outside, i made friends, i communicated. I think some of the best skills you have is to be able to communicate well and be confident. I didnt go to brownies because i didnt like it! I went swimming untill i hit puberty because i didnt like it anymore. I did ok, i don't feel that my life has been missing of anything, i dont think that i have had it tough because there is always someone somewhere worse off than you are.

I dont think that rich people get it any better. They expect that money can buy them anything sometimes, that mummy and daddy will buy them this that and the other willy nilly. Its nice to work for something.

My_Fathers_Daughter

aliasojo you don't really say what age your kids are?

I think learning to play an instrument teaches kids discipline and can provide opportunities for widening their circle at little expense (bands and orchestras maybe).

I also think that life skills such as cooking and other home-based skills such as gardening and basic maintenance are essentials for kids (that they so seldom get these days!)

mrcow

I disagree too

You don't have to be rich to enjoy horseriding. If it's something that you really want to do then you sacrifice other things to do it. It's a more expensive hobby because of the upkeep of the animals. If it's something that your daughter really wants to do it, then she can volunteer her services at weekends to help with mucking out etc and there are opportunities to ride this way.

Same goes for other activities, if it's something that you really want to do eg. getting a pilots license which costs a bomb, you don't need loads of money.......just lots of dedication.

aliasojo

SandC wrote: »

Kids in the country grow up to be rounded, intelligent and inquisitive people.

I agree with you on this point.

I think I need to clarify that I am not downing living here in any way....I'm fully aware of the benefits. However, no matter how 'good' in some aspects your life may be...the fact remains that certain experiences do cost money.

The more experiences you have the better surely? Your life can only be enriched by being able to try new things?

It's like saying well it's ok...I can speak French and that's really good, so that's all I need....but if you had more experiences with learning other languages too...then you'd be multi linguistic (< that's not right ...is it????) which has got to be even better.

aliasojo

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

aliasojo you don't really say what age your kids are?

I think learning to play an instrument teaches kids discipline and can provide opportunities for widening their circle at little expense (bands and orchestras maybe).

I also think that life skills such as cooking and other home-based skills such as gardening and basic maintenance are essentials for kids (that they so seldom get these days!)

Youngest is 9 (and recently got a guitar as it happens because her school had a visiting music teacher who was to start her off with the basics until it was stopped for some reason. That's another story though). Eldest is 25 but mentally is much younger.

I'm wondering if I'm giving the impression that I think my kids should live like rich kids rather than be happy and simply enjoy the more basic things they do now?

We are a down to earth family.....we DO walk in the countryside....we DO bake (although in my case not very well) and we DO all the other basic things that most families do.

My point is that it's still a bit one sided and there is a side of life that they wont experience due to a shortage of funds mainly. They wont suffer for this in any way, but I still feel they would be more enriched if they could try out as many things in life as possible.

MrsTinks

Let's see... My parents have gone from nothing (I kid you not we used to live of ryebread with the cheapest toppings back in Denmark when were younger - it ain't possible to live on anything cheaper there...) to being pretty well off and then back to a comfortable but certainly not "rich" style of living.
Before we had 2 pennies to rub together I used to ride horses every given chance... Mainly lessons earnt from working at the stables - long hours, hard graft and I loved it. If I wasn't to be found anywhere I'd be in the stables somewhere or reading about horses. Later that became unneccessary but I still used to help out walking the ponies round with beginners on to earn extra lessons or the chance to ride my favourite horse out in the mountains after we moved to Norway... And back then I had a 1hr bus drive there and back and a 25 minute walk from the bus stop to the stable - fine in summer - bit cold in the norwegian winter with -20c and waist high snow!
We had annual trips to the local equivalent to alton towers and you know... I think to this day I have more fond memories of that than I have of the trips to Euro Disney... because it was more special... although thinking back... my favourite place was the natural history museum and a stone age museum about 45 minutes from where we lived... and to this day I love going back there.
I have far more fond "family" memories from when we had no money than when we were well-ish off...
Encourage reading, take them to museums and art places... if they want hobbies make them understand that these things cost money and if they want to do it then they need to at least earn part of what it will cost... This will make them also appreciate it more because they don't just get it on a platter...