Kids from well off families beats my lot hands down.

ymcas

Strapped wrote: »

I tend to disagree, unless you happen to know someone with all the kit who is willing to show you the ropes (literally!) Just walking the Highlands of course is less expensive, but you still need boots and a decent set of waterproofs etc which you have to keep replacing for growing kids. Unfortunately, life costs!

I think the climbing can be much more affordable than people think. When I was 15 we taught ourselves to abseil/climb after just a couple of sessions with Venture Scouts. Climbing boots not required.... old (so tight fitting) school pumps were fine, we bought a 15m length of rope between us and a couple of harnesses and karabinas, belayed using a Fig 8, used a few slings to set up the ropes and chose locations where this small amount of kit allowed us to be safe.

Becles

We haven't got much money, so my boys don't do activities.

I keep hearing tales about "x does this" and "y does that", and it's not fair that they don't get to do as much stuff.

However I can play Mario Kart etc., on the Wii, I'm a decent goalie for a girl (apparantly!), taught them how to play various card games, play board games, I can build a Tardis out of blue blankets and a clothes horse, we make cookies and fairy cakes and so on.

Apparantly I'm a really cool Mam and I've been told their friends say they wish their Mam's did as much with them as I do with mine. So although you can't provide as much money wise, you can still give your children an awful lot of happy memories.

skintchick

3KIDSNOMONEY wrote: »

skintchick - you are only acouple of years older than me and so we grew up in similar times.

Life is very different for a child these days than it was when we were growing up. Parenting is different too. My kids do amuse themselves but i know they would love to do other activities and i would love them to do other things too.

Sure thing. I'd have loved to as well, but we couldn;t and didn't. The OP was saying her kids were missing out and my point is they don;t have to be.

fay144

I know what you are saying. My parents went without new clothes and holidays to pay for me to have a good range of activities when I was growing up, and I think it made a big difference to my life. I think it does really help in confidence building, and setting patterns for the rest of life (I still have a different "activity" for every night of the week, and I think commiting to classes/clubs is a generally positive thing to do).

I don't think you need to worry though, as you already send them swimming and to brownies. It doesn't really matter exactly *what* they do, the benefit is from commiting to something, socialising, and progressing in the hobby. It doesn't matter whether that activity is something cheap like swimming, or something expensive like sailing.

(£25 a session is a rip off for a climbing wall though - the one I go to is around £10 including hire for an adult. Have you looked for local amateur climbing clubs? If you can find one that takes kids, the instruction will probably be free.)

Strapped

ymcas wrote: »

I think the climbing can be much more affordable than people think. When I was 15 we taught ourselves to abseil/climb after just a couple of sessions with Venture Scouts. Climbing boots not required.... old (so tight fitting) school pumps were fine, we bought a 15m length of rope between us and a couple of harnesses and karabinas, belayed using a Fig 8, used a few slings to set up the ropes and chose locations where this small amount of kit allowed us to be safe.

I don't want to take this thread OT, so I won't labour the point, but a 15m rope? I didn't know they sold 'em that short. There are not many places you can top-rope that are <7m high (I assume that you were top roping as you mention slings to set up the ropes, no rack). No lids either tsk tsk?

(Having said all that, I learnt most of my climbing as a poor student, with past-its-best-gear so it's a miracle I'm still alive 20 years later )

Lunar_Eclipse

boyse7en wrote: »

There are loads of ways to get a broad spread of education and enjoyment without having to pay for it.

I have only read the replies so far and would say that whilst I fully believe life is about experiences (and people), that where there's a will, there is usually a way. Hence my agreement with the above statement.

Additionally, even for parents that can afford more, they may choose not to offer it for many different reasons, such as lack of interest from the child, not wanting to spoil the children and allowing them enough time to simply be children.

In answer to part of the OP's question, I pay for my children (7&8) to go to Brownies and swimming club; and eldest to piano lessons. Additionally she goes to running club, cookery club and has violin lessons at school at no direct cost to us. Youngest has free Recorder lessons at school.

I take them to as many free cultural/artistic things as possible. We are lucky that London is within the hour so the museums are very accessible. Not that I like London much, so we only go 2-3 times a year.

Our local Art College currently has a primary school art exhibition on which we're going to at the weekend, along with 'the Big Draw' at our local church on Saturday morning. Waterstone's frequently have craft sessions (half term's coming up), local library has story time sessions, churches have arty mornings/music & BBQ afternoons etc. These free events are always simple no frills affairs, but they rarely attract the huge crowds like in theme parks and are an enjoyable way to spend an hour or so IMO. They help to widen the children's experiences and expose them to different scenarios/people.

I have heard it said more times than I could possibly remember that if you only do one thing for your child, make sure that they can read. And ideally instil a love of books in them by hearing and reading to them daily. Technically this is 'free' if you have a library nearby. Additionally I would personally say that travel broadens the mind and touches the heart and soul more than any other direct experience ..... maybe apart from that first true love?!

Lunar_Eclipse

3KIDSNOMONEY wrote: »

my kids do the brownies/gym/football/swimming things but i would love to be able to afford to let my kids go horse riding/go karting and things like that that i know they would love. i really disagree with the mrcow who said that you can find a way of providing these activities if you are serious. Money just doesn't come that easily.

But in this case it's all about priorities. If horse riding/go karting was more of a priority in this example, then each child sacrificing one of the activities they currently do (brownies/gym/football/swimming) could pay for a horse riding lesson once a month say.

And as far as I know, Tesco/M&S/Sains/Asda/xxx are always recruiting. So I agree with mrcow. It is only a matter of priorities for some people. Sky TV or monthly horse riding lesson? Mobile and land line telephone or go-karting for the children? Takeaway on a Friday night .... you get my point I'm sure.

The other thing I have just remembered is the inverse correlation between family income and money spent on gifts for children at birthdays/Christmas. Obviously only up to a point, thus excluding the highest and lowest 10% of income. But of all the people I know, it is those earning least who spend more on gifts for their kids (which could therefore be expensive "experiences".) Most of our friends earn c £100k/year. And would not spend more than £100 on their children for Christmas - including pressies from Santa. Some cap it at £60. I am aware that many people will think that's a fortune. But I am trying to make a point. How many people, who would love to give their children horse riding lessons for example, buy them a new toy, chocolate bar and fizzy drink every few weeks I wonder?

I'm off to bed now. Very interesting thread, but I'm beginning to bore myself now!!

Smashing

How many organised activities do kids really need to do? Surely it's better to do 1 activity the child has a true passion for than try to fill every spare moment with something artificially structured?

Paying £25 to climb an indoor wall? You're in the highlands! Plenty of things to scale.

I went to school with kids who never seemed to stop - swimming, dance, guides etc. kids need to be bored to teach them so initiave. They also need time to do sod all.
If it's about experiences then do something different every now and again - do they need to climb the same wall week in week out for it to count?

Teaching them that these activities cost money and sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the things you want is a valuable lesson to learn rather than filling up the attic with endless equpiment bought for the latest fad that they soon got bored of.

Are there no after school clubs? Drama? Netball etc? Do they enjoy art?

Some kids are bombarded with stimuation of all kinds. Others aren't -it isn't a relection on your success as a parent.

Don't be guilt tripped by the idea that everyone elses's kids are out there having endless fun. Lots of kids have times when they believe they are incredibly hard done by, doesn't mean you have to buy into it and berate yourself.

frivolous_fay

I know what you mean OP. My family was financially stretched for my formative years.

I got to learn the piano (little old lady, not expensive) and be a St Johns Ambulance cadet (cheap, but I hated it). We used to get a family season ticket to go swimming on Fridays in the winter when it was cheap and quiet.

I wanted to be a Brownie, have art lessons, do ballet, learn to ice skate. I had friends who did these things. We had a few riding lessons but yes, I was made to understand that it wasn't a cheap activity, and the lessons stopped.
I got into a mindset that we couldn't afford anything I fancied doing - so I went with a friend on her Duke of Edinburgh hike, but never completed the rest of the award because I assumed we couldn't afford canoeing / sailing whatever. The school skiing trip was something only the teacher's children and the rich kids did.

Sorry... I don't think I have added anything helpful. But I do know where you're coming from.

(P.S. I'd rather have been reading anyway )

JimmyTheWig

Becles wrote: »

We haven't got much money, so my boys don't do activities.

I keep hearing tales about "x does this" and "y does that", and it's not fair that they don't get to do as much stuff.

However I can play Mario Kart etc., on the Wii, I'm a decent goalie for a girl (apparantly!), taught them how to play various card games, play board games, I can build a Tardis out of blue blankets and a clothes horse, we make cookies and fairy cakes and so on.

Apparantly I'm a really cool Mam and I've been told their friends say they wish their Mam's did as much with them as I do with mine. So although you can't provide as much money wise, you can still give your children an awful lot of happy memories.

I think this is exactly what people mean when they say a child would rather have your time than your money. Good for you.