Kids from well off families beats my lot hands down.

Dill

aliasojo wrote: »

The more experiences you have the better surely? Your life can only be enriched by being able to try new things?

to a certain extent you're right, but very few people have a never-ending amount of money, and your kids won't be deprived if you can't do everything you'd like to do in an ideal world.

Also, if they do 'only' a few things, they might focus more on those things, rather than if you were trying to cram everything you'd ideally like to do into their time?

Rich kids might go to more places or do activities which most others don't get to do, but there are more important things like how much time you spend with your kids. Having rich parents would be no advantage in this respect!

boyse7en

True, life can be enriched with experiences, but that doesn't mean you have to do everything while you are a child. Let them have some experiences to look forward to when they are adults, and can choose.

On a more practical note: There are all the outdoors-y type stuff; walking, cycling, etc. You could take a trip to London, stay at a cheap hotel (or a friend/relative) and go to all the free museums and galleries (you may be able to do this in Edinburgh or Glasgow too, but I don't know). Join the Brownies/Scouts/Guides, sports clubs usually have cheap junior membership (our Tennis club does kids for £25 per year, and they can go as often as they like), do volunteer work, join the church (even if not religious, they have youth clubs, rambler clubs, choirs) join a twinning association and they could go to Germany or France and stay with a french family. My parents did this and me and my sister were taken on several holidays with french families, I went cross-country skiiing and she went to the South of France, all for the price of a ferry ticket.

There are loads of ways to get a broad spread of education and enjoyment without having to pay for it.

fatpiggy

As Mr Spock said, "having is not such a satisfying thing as wanting". Kids who have lots of possessions in reality, have very little. What they really want is support and encouragement and attention from their family. I would definitely second the benefits of learning a musical instrument, or even simply singing. It doesn't matter what your social background is when you make music with others. I agree that horse-riding is potentially expensive, but perhaps you could find a local family with a pony that could help? I never had riding lessons, they were totally out of the question, but learned by the falling-off method from a school friend's pony. As another poster has said, ask about "helpers" at a local stables in return for lessons. Having taught riding at weekends, a stable can never get enough willing hands!!

kit

I thought I would add my say.... I grew up on a farm, we didnt go to clubs, we didnt go on holidays, we didnt really mix with other kids. And we had a great time! Sometimes we were really short of money, but a lot of the time we werent, we just didnt have the need to go out and do that kinda stuff. We walked, ran, screamed, cleaned out animals etc etc etc. I dont feel like I missed out on anything.

Girlywhurly

I think it is true that if you have little money then you perhaps lack skills and opportunities that wealthier children have, my family were poor when I was younger and I would have loved dancing lessons, music lessons etc, but money never stretched to that. I also think that richer schools provide richer children with more choices too, as I have well off friends and their children do ballet and drama within school. This is not the case in my area. How would you know that you could be good at something if someone never gives you the chance to try it? I do not think it is a question of being brought up well, poor does not equal an unhappy childhood, but I do believe it can offer limited opportunity.

bestpud

aliasojo wrote: »

I'm wondering if I'm giving the impression that I think my kids should live like rich kids rather than be happy and simply enjoy the more basic things they do now?

We are a down to earth family.....we DO walk in the countryside....we DO bake (although in my case not very well) and we DO all the other basic things that most families do.

My point is that it's still a bit one sided and there is a side of life that they wont experience due to a shortage of funds mainly. They wont suffer for this in any way, but I still feel they would be more enriched if they could try out as many things in life as possible.

I think you'd be surprised how many families don't do these things! That isn't about money, or lack of, imo.

I see what you are saying, but I would argue, if it were a choice between having rich parents who buy loads of things but hardly spent any time with their children, or the life your children have, then it is actually your children who win hands down!

Quillion

aliasojo wrote: »

Yes, you're right...but imagination isn't always a good substitute for different life experiences, imo.



Also to add another aspect...my eldest is disabled and has no friends (or imagination come to that). If we hadn't taken him horse riding and to various other activities when he was younger, he would have had no life at all to speak off.

Are there any groups which help with activities for your son?
There is a group calles RDA Riding for Disabled Association not sure of all the locations.
Could you get together with other families to bring things into your area cheaper when everyone joins in.

HTH

aliasojo

boyse7en wrote: »

True, life can be enriched with experiences, but that doesn't mean you have to do everything while you are a child. Let them have some experiences to look forward to when they are adults, and can choose.

Very true. However I wasn't intending bombarding them with continuous days out....I was just looking for new interests for them to try every now and then....although the issue is if they enjoyed something, would we then be able to keep the visits up.

On a more practical note: There are all the outdoors-y type stuff; walking, cycling, etc. You could take a trip to London, stay at a cheap hotel (or a friend/relative)

We are pretty isolated with regards to family and friends. Also a trip to London as in the suggestion would be out of the question because of cost. There are 5 of us in the family and the cheapest way is by bus which takes 11 hours .....something my eldest couldn't cope with.

and go to all the free museums and galleries (you may be able to do this in Edinburgh or Glasgow too, but I don't know). Join the Brownies/Scouts/Guides, sports clubs

Done.

usually have cheap junior membership (our Tennis club does kids for £25 per year, and they can go as often as they like), do volunteer work, join the church (even if not religious, they have youth clubs, rambler clubs, choirs)

the church is a good idea but to my knowledge they have 'seasonal' clubs in the Summer and that's it.

join a twinning association and they could go to Germany or France and stay with a french family. My parents did this and me and my sister were taken on several holidays with french families, I went cross-country skiiing and she went to the South of France, all for the price of a ferry ticket.

Good idea but lack of confidence will stop that suggestion in it's tracks.

There are loads of ways to get a broad spread of education and enjoyment without having to pay for it.

With regard to the people who say they haven't missed out on anything......I'm wondering how you know this?

It's a bit like what you never had, you can't miss..........but if you had new experiences and tried different things to those you normally did, who knows what other enjoyment you may have had or how new things might have added to your life?

SmallEnglish

When I was a kid I didn't get to do any hobbies, sports, anything.... My mum and step-dad just weren't interested in finding me any clubs or sports or hobbies to do. I don't feel I missed out by not doing these activities, but I do feel I missed out because my parents simply couldn't be bothered. I ended up being such a shy kid and so did my younger brother, because we were simply ignored and I spent all my times reading books in my bedroom as there was nothing else to do (we weren't allowed out to play!) so much so that we didn't really find ourselves or our confidence until we were adults. Neither of us even went to uni even though we were smart enough, because there was absolutely no encouragement or support.

aliasojo I think that the fact that you want your children to have opportunities and want them to be confident will do so much for your children, even if maybe you can't afford for them to do stuff as often as you'd like to. I think if I had parents like you when I was younger, knowing they were trying to do their best for me, would have made me much more confident in myself. I hope I'm making sense here!!

aliasojo

Quillion wrote: »

Are there any groups which help with activities for your son?
There is a group calles RDA Riding for Disabled Association not sure of all the locations.
Could you get together with other families to bring things into your area cheaper when everyone joins in.

HTH

In the whole of the Highlands there was only one place suitable for him to attend, unfortunately he had to leave as they were unable to manage him and now he has nothing. Even the Social Work dept admit there is nothing for him here. He no longer even has a support worker due to staff cutbacks.

He did actually attend an RDA school for quite some time but unfortunately the set up that was in place to help him attend here was changed and I myself couldn't physically get him to where it was based, quite some miles away.

As I've already said, the Highlands ARE a great place to live....but there are massive drawbacks to living here also....there's no number 11 bus to hop onto for a quick trip into town to the cinema for instance. I used to live in Edinburgh and although city life also had it's drawbacks....everything was more do-able and with less cost and hassle.