Kids from well off families beats my lot hands down.

SandC

Well that was not my intention and if that is how I came across I apologise.

I still did not deserve you attitude.

aliasojo

mrcow wrote: »

Or do some overtime at work (or get a job if you've not got one?).Like I said, it's not about money, it's about priorities?

I accept this to a point. Sure, people don't get anything for free and you need to work to provide for what you want to do. Agreed with no doubt.

BUT....kids from rich families (and I'm talking generally) can have their parents time AND activity choices.

Poorer parents can't supply both. So yes, people can work and give their kids more but they then miss out on time and attention.

In that case, I think the time and attention thing is more important than the activity thing. Which brings us back to the original point.

aliasojo

SandC wrote: »

Well that was not my intention and if that is how I came across I apologise.

Thank you. I apologise too.

I still did not deserve you attitude.

Mmmm...perhaps not if it wasn't meant. However we are all resposible for how we come across and the words we post. I'm not there listening to you in person so I can't see your facial expression or hear the tone in your voice, I only see your written words which did convey a sarcastic tone.


I accept you did not mean this to be the case which is why I apologised too.

............

Oldernotwiser

aliasojo wrote: »

BUT....kids from rich families (and I'm talking generally) can have their parents time AND activity choices.

Not usually. Most people who are "rich" are so because they work long hours and hardly ever see their children. Like most things in life, people are usually time rich or money rich, rarely both.

I really can't see that the opportunity to do things like climbing is going to make much of a difference in a child's life. You say that your child might become a world champion rockclimber if she had the chance, but she might also be a world renowned cellist, ballerina, footballer,swimmer, showjumper etc., etc. She can't try them all!

I'm sure that if their child seems musical, most good parents would make sacrifices for music lessons, for a child who's always dancing, ballet lessons, for a keen footballer, extra coaching. You have to follow the interests of the child, not thrust "experiences" on them willy nilly in the hope that this will give them some kind of advantage in life. It doesn't work like that.

SandC

Okay, sorted then.

I guess also it's as much about where you live as anything else. Typically activities are town based and getting there costs. I suppose the more well off will take their kids away for weekends - whereabouts are you in the Highlands?

mrcow

aliasojo wrote: »

BUT....kids from rich families (and I'm talking generally) can have their parents time AND activity choices.

Poorer parents can't supply both. So yes, people can work and give their kids more but they then miss out on time and attention.

In that case, I think the time and attention thing is more important than the activity thing. Which brings us back to the original point.

Then I have to ask, who are these mysterious "rich" people we are talking about that beat your kids hands down?

Do you mean the "idle" rich?

All the "rich" people I know work very hard for their money. Most of the richest people I know own their own businesses and put their entire lives into it. Some of them only see their kids for a couple of hours a day if that. I for one am looking after the children alone once again this week as my partner is out of the country for another endless week on business (and it's even harder as we're all ill ). I know that they are all missing each other terribly.

It is difficult to juggle stuff, as things are with all families, but we do what we do because we're all trying to do what is right by our families. As we've been discussing here, there is so much more to life than money though.

I would say though, if your daughter really likes horseriding, look into the whole "helping out at the stables" thing as it's really fun. And if you think that your son would benefit by going to climbing courses, then look into it a bit more and ways that it can be facilitated. There may be other places that do it cheaper. Having a hobby that you really love is good fun. (although I've never understood the attraction of wall climbing personally maybe it's a "boy thing"?).

windra

I totally disagree with the OP...not a single person in my fammily has been to univercity(until me)...my mother never worked until i was about 17,because she believed in raising her children well and spending time with them...my father has never had a job paying more than 18k...and only just above minimum wage when i was growing up and he was supporting 2 children and my mother.

They are living proof that low income fammilies can have a better life than spoilt rich kids.
I have lived in over 25 houses in my 22 years of life,most which were barely livable because my parents always bought rundown houses needing alot of work, and my parents worked hard and moved on,eventually owning a house right out before i was even at school.

My parents had all their money then tied up in houses and we lived on a very very tight budget, but i was very happy as a young child, my mother would take me looking for shells on the beach every week, and i spent most of my time in the garden playing about.
I don't ever remember doing anything costing money until i was about 8, when i went to the brownies and st,john ambulence which cost very little.
The rest of the time was spent playing with my friends in the local park or in the garden.

I have been able to go to univercity because of all the saving my parents did,and i am very prepaired for life.
At the time when i was young, i would have liked to live in a nicely decorated house and have brand new clothes, but i thourily enjoyed my early childhood, and i am so glad that i got the chance to go to univercity!

The great outdoors is absolutly free, and shouldnt be taken forgranted. I am much more prepaired for life now than i would have been if i had been spoilt.

My sister reached her teens at about the time when my father got a better job,after i had left home and she is thouraly spoilt,if she doesnt get what she wants she throws a hissy fit, she has a bad reputaion at school, and is always going out defying my parents, underage drinking and whatever else she gets upto...because she has money to spend of fashion and alchohol.

I am ao glad that i was not spoilt with everything i wanted as i am very careful with my money now, unlike alot of my friends at univercity...i havnt spent my entire overdraft on alchohol and going out!

aliasojo

SandC wrote: »

I was only asking what things you were thinking about - every suggestion is met with the response that you already do it and it's ordinary. Your kids appear to be missing out on nothing and at no point did I ever say that my experience was everyone elses experience.

I wanted to come back to this, to point somethihg out. Yes, you are right......I DO respond with the 'we already do this' line. Because we do.

I moved to the Highlands 29 years ago and I've lived in this house for 20 years. I have 3 kids. Over the years we have done all there is to do here. Perhaps that is why I am now so conscious of the fact that there ARE things out there that are new and untried, largely due to the costs involved.

mrcow

windra wrote: »

I have been able to go to univercity because of all the saving my parents did,and i am very prepaired for life.
At the time when i was young, i would have liked to live in a nicely decorated house and have brand new clothes, but i thourily enjoyed my early childhood, and i am so glad that i got the chance to go to univercity!

Out of interest, where did you go and what did you study?

Kantankrus_Mare

I can see both sides of this argument and there are many factors to take into consideration.

I have two children. My eldest has never really shown any enthusiasm for group activities when suggested by us but when he got to about 12/13 he took interest in the guitar and seems to have never had it out of his hand since (hes now nearly 16)

So we pay willingly for him to have his lesson each week which is surplus to what music lessons he gets free at school. Money we feel is well spent as its something he's good at and enjoys.

My daughter has tried various things including the horse riding which I think is very expensive. Anyway she has stuck at kickboxing and we pay for this each week.

We are not a particularly affluent family ....we get by like most families.

I wouldnt bust a gut trying to get them doing other activities bacause we certainly couldnt afford it .

By comparison, my bosses daughter does lots of activities. The other major thing that she does that I wish I could give my kids is travel and eating out in restaurants a lot of the time. She seems very mature and confident compared to my daughter but is this the way she is or down to her experiences?

She could also turn out to be spoilt and take a lot of life experiences for granted but we will have to wait and see.

Money gives you choices but the lack of it doesnt have to spell disaster.

As some have said....what you never have you never miss.

I feel like I have rambled a little :rotfl: but anyway .thats my two pennorth worth.