Kids from well off families beats my lot hands down.

pickle

Money doesn't necessarily mean you miss out in life. I grew up with people who had so much money and opportunity and I always felt like I missed out growing up as we had no extra cash. Once the teachers even paid for me to go on a trip. But now I am in my 40s I realise that I was the one who actually had the advantage as I never take anything for granted and worked hard to get through university and to make a life for myself! I am now living overseas and have a happy life while almost all the people I grew up with are still where they were and gave up uni etc. There was no challenge for them, everything came too easily for them. Sometimes not having things spurs you on to achieve in life. It's not always the case but often it is. Look at the most successful people, they are often the ones who have very little to start off with. Also the things I loved the most when I was a child was sleep-overs with my friends, having pets and sports, none of which cost very much.

nadnad

i know where you're coming from aliasojo. looking back at my childhood i didnt do anything - not music lessons, dance classes, brownies - nothing. it never bothered me at the time - when i got to secondary school a lot of the kids were from well off families and I swear every one of them had loads of hobbies and activities they did and I think it does help people to be more confident and outgoing. Now I'm definitely not a shrinking violet but I do think had I had more "structured" activities I would have joined in more at school and got involved in more.

I've recently had a son and me and my OH have made a conscious decision to try to get him out and about and involved in various activities when he's older.

3KIDSNOMONEY

i personally think that it is true that the 'poorer' children miss out.

my kids do the brownies/gym/football/swimming things but i would love to be able to afford to let my kids go horse riding/go karting and things like that that i know they would love. i really disagree with the mrcow who said that you can find a way of providing these activities if you are serious. Money just doesn't come that easily.

Also if i were better off i would provide my kids with a bedroom each and a great big garden to run around in at any time and animals to learn to care for. I too feel guilty that i can't give my children the opportunities and experiences that i would like to.

summerday

I too understand where you're coming from. I also agree with nadnad. My parents never took me swimming and when I had my first school swimming lesson aged almost 6 I can vividly remember standing at the top of the steps of the pool screaming in protest at the thought of having to go into what looked like a gigantic bath I was sure I'd drown in. Really wished my parents had taken me just to get used to the water and know what to expect as all the other kids did. But they never thought such extracurricular things were really necessary, and was discouraged from joining sports clubs etc. I will be doing the opposite when I have kids.

To be honest though, I think that no matter how little or much you can afford for your kids to do, it doesn't matter nearly as much as your attitude towards them trying new things and having experience. Even if they aren't regular activities, you have given your daughter a chance to gain an experience of climbing a wall and confronting her fears, so gaining confidence. She will grow up knowing that her parents support her and will encourage her to do the very best for herself in life. Offering that is far more important than any amount of money

tomstickland

Money always makes things easier, but there are loads of things you can do on the cheap. Mountaineering, walking, climbing etc can all be done for little cost. Clearly you need to know what you're doing if it's proper climbing, but there's a lot of adventurous fun to be had for little outlay.

Strapped

I wish you lived down here - I'd teach you & yours to climb! Unfortunately I'm at the other end of the UK. I hear what you're saying though - we live in an affluent area and I notice that most of the kids at my son's school have many more "interests" / regular activities than him. Fortunately, with me being a climber (and having instructor training/experience) I have a skill I can barter with in exchange for, for example, pony riding or swimming at his friends' houses. (I expect that he would be invited to do this anyway, but feel I should offer something in return IYKWIM ) Is there any chance that you could get together a group of parents and work out what joint activities you could resource between you? Bike trips / picnics / arts & craft type stuff / musical instruments (recorders are cheap ) etc?

Strapped

tomstickland wrote: »

Money always makes things easier, but there are loads of things you can do on the cheap. Mountaineering, walking, climbing etc can all be done for little cost. Clearly you need to know what you're doing if it's proper climbing, but there's a lot of adventurous fun to be had for little outlay.

I tend to disagree, unless you happen to know someone with all the kit who is willing to show you the ropes (literally!) Just walking the Highlands of course is less expensive, but you still need boots and a decent set of waterproofs etc which you have to keep replacing for growing kids. Unfortunately, life costs!

Pssst

You and your children and rich in other ways...

skintchick

Right. I don;t have children but I used to be one My parents were reasonably well off but I don;t remember going to loads of things. I'm 33 now, and I did used to go to Brownies, but other than that I amused myself.

I went for bike rides with mates, read loads of books, made things (my mum still has the nativity scene I made out of card and material!), wrote stories and poems I'd then perform to the family, I had a cheap keyboard I used to play (badly), I'd spend time with teh cat, going to friends' houses, etc.

I don;t recall we needed a lot of money to do stuff - but my parents expected us to amuse ourselves, NOT to have to provide us with endless things to do. If we were bored, we were told to find something to do to stop us being bored, not amused with activities and classes.

Maybe this doesn't help much but I think it's the current generation who expect to be spoonfed things to do, and as a parents you can stop that.

I don;t think I EVER went on a climbing wall...

3KIDSNOMONEY

skintchick - you are only acouple of years older than me and so we grew up in similar times.

Life is very different for a child these days than it was when we were growing up. Parenting is different too. My kids do amuse themselves but i know they would love to do other activities and i would love them to do other things too.