Volunteer in school made my life hell 3 years ago.. advice.

nzmegs

This woman needs dealing with but you need to be very careful. She may well hold you personally responsible for ruining her career path which could result in more abuse - if she has nothing to lose ie no job prospects she may get much worse.

She needs to let herself down with no help from you and chances are she will. if she still smokes then it isn't going to take long for that little habit to become an issue in the workplace, a slip of the tongue (swearing etc) or being late too many times or being a bully to a child or parent. These things will resl=ult in warnings or even immediate dismissal. Given time she will eventually talk her way out of her job.

In the meantime you need to find a friend or neighbour who will take your kids to school one mroning a week in return for you doing the same. I am sure people will be willing to help.
The advice you have been given about standing up to her is great. be talkative to other mums, smile alot, be chatty with your kids and completely ignore her and her chums. it will really get on her nerves!
I would tell your son that you don't have any issues with this woman any more and neither should he. it would be a good lesson in forgiveness for him and show him how brave you are and hopefully diffuse the fear. All these things break down bullies. You can't intimidate people who are really nice to you.

[Deleted User]

nzmegs, thank you for your post, your last few sentances was very very vaild ( as the rest of it but the last few struck a chord) and I will certainly do as suggested.

SL x

Savvy_Sue

I am sorry Sally, but I can't help feeling you are going to have to become a good deal more assertive and less intimidated if you want to go into social work! Whatever you choose to specialise in, you WILL have difficult clients, probably far worse than this lady. Creeping away won't be an option.

and you assume she's talking about you, but why would she be? How many hundred other mothers are there in the playground?

[Deleted User]

Of course I agree and I can be assertive when i need to be, although not as assertive as i should be, something I hope it will be something i grow at.

As for how do i "know" she's talkig about me, I don't, but It's very hard to explain hte type of person she is and those who know a person like her will know exactly what i mean.

SL

Savvy_Sue

Sallylizzie wrote: »

It's very hard to explain hte type of person she is and those who know a person like her will know exactly what i mean.

Again, I find that a slightly alarming remark from someone who hopes to be a social worker. Through work both DH and I meet people who are sometimes rude, sometimes abusive, probably hell to live near. But there's no 'type' - they come from 'good' homes and bad homes, affluent homes and poor homes, stable homes and chaotic homes.

Some of these people move on, yet according to your reasoning, it would only take one person recognising them and saying "oooh, but they used to do this and this in the past" to hold them back for ever.

I don't know this person, and she may indeed be entirely unsuitable to work with children, however you have to let her demonstrate that to others, or indeed give her the chance to show that she's changed.

[Deleted User]

I did not mean "type" as in the way she was raised or the type of home life she came from, you took my comment the wrong way, I'm not sure how to explain further as i don't want any further words taken out of context.

I agree some people move on, if you read the thread, I HAVE said this all stems back 3 years apart from the occasional abuse and I HAVE also said that i understand people change and due to her behaviour at school I understood why the school had not asked her to leave, For the record I also said, thats was NOT something I wanted.

I think I am very entitled to ask her to be kept away from my children as you say, she may have changed ( as yet I don't see or don't know that she has) however I have no intention of letting her near my children on the basis that she MAY have changed, I hope she does not just for my benefit but for herself, her career.

I hope you do not take my post the wrong way but I feel i need to make my position clear to you as you seem to have taken my posts the worng way.

SL

sewbocushions

Hi, I'm shocked to hear about your troubles, so sorry for you. I don't know if it's been suggested but have you voiced your concerns to the school governors? My husband is on the board of our local Junior school and I know that they would be concerned to hear that any parent was experiencing these difficulties. It might be worth finding out (via your school's website perhaps?) who the head governor is and giving him a ring to discuss your problems. The governors oversee and even select the head teacher and I understand that you don't want to rock the boat but I really think they need to know these situations and will take you seriously. Good luck. Bo.