First one to clear 15k gets a paper hat

starnac

yay to your 3 stars. :j:T

tirlittan

. A very, very long way to a fourth one though.

starnac

how many til your 4th one?

tirlittan

I think that at 2500 post or something like that?!

starnac

ooh long way to go then. although think how much you would have paid off your debts by the time you get to 2500 posts

tirlittan

Yes, probably another year so should be half way there. Nice way to look at it starnac.

starnac

you are doing really well. won't be long til you're under £10k

clearmydebts

Morning all,

Well done on the 2 stars Starnac!

I am so upset this morning. I suppose I shold put it in my journal but I don't use it very often.

Had a huge row with OH last night. I basically said yesterday that we needed to sit down and talk about Australia and the baby coming in February as he still hasn't got a job. I mentioned the propsect of us moving somewhere else as there are jobs in his area in other parts of southern England.

OH said he would rather stay where we are as he has his band and that he could do a lower paid job. I tried to point out that a lower paid job wouldn't cover our epxenses when I am on maternity (I wan't to take 4 months off and my maternity isn't good where I work).

So we chatted about the possibility of moving away, or more like I chatted but he wouldn't really join in. So last night I said are you going to email the agencies to tell them that we are willing to relocate (I can work in my job from anywhere in England) and he said that I was pushing him into a corner and forcing him to make decisions.

Anyway we had a bit row but I am so upset and angry because he dropped out of his work to pursue a music course for 2 years and I have supported him. I understand he wants to stay where we are because of his band (they are excellent) but they haven't started gigging yet despite being together 18 months (gigging from next month) and I doubt their long term sustainability as there are a couple in the band who have a shaky relationship at the best of times.

Now (if you haven't fallen asleep already) there is an other angle to this story as well. Our ambition is to move to Spain in a few years time. We have both agreed that this is our priority. So my idea is to move somewhere and make good money, pay off the debts and save a good deposit for a place in Spain (this has been well researched for the last 6 years). If we stay were we are and OH takes a lesser paid job we will probably have to move back to Ireland when the baby is born as we won't be able to pay the rent etc. We will also have no savings and OH will be on the dole in Ireland. Also every month OH is not doing the job he was trained to do means that he is less likely to work in that area again, and that is what he would work at in Spain.

Am I being so unreasonable? At the end of the day I don't want to move from where we are when I am potentially 6 months pregnant but I can see the bigger picture of moving to Spain and paying off our debts.

I am so sorry about the essay but I really need to vent and I know everyone on here is very truthful and supportive.

starnac

big hug to start with. i'm sorry you're feeling down but i do understand. is your OH likely to get a job where you are now or are they really low paid? do you think his reaction was more about hurt pride rather than stubborness about moving? i know my OH hates the fact that he doesn't have a job and therefore not providing for his family as men should !!

as far as moving goes would you stay in the same job?

tirlittan

Hi CMD. And firstly (((hugs))). Rows with partners are always so draining...

So ultimately he would do the same work in Spain as what he did before the music course? So the music will never be viable as first income?

If you really want to move to Spain and that is your ultimate goal, your view of better paid jobs is much more sensible. I think you should relocate if he finds a good job. HTH.