First one to clear 15k gets a paper hat

clearmydebts

starnac wrote: »

big hug to start with. i'm sorry you're feeling down but i do understand. is your OH likely to get a job where you are now or are they really low paid? do you think his reaction was more about hurt pride rather than stubborness about moving? i know my OH hates the fact that he doesn't have a job and therefore not providing for his family as men should !!

as far as moving goes would you stay in the same job?

Thanks Starnac

I think his reaction may have been that he feels backed into a corner. My problem is that even a lower paid job won't cover living expenses, nevermind the debts. There are no jobs at the moment that would pay well, and he has been looking since May. Any well paid ones would require a commute time of at least 4 hours per day

I work from home so can work anywhere which is great

clearmydebts

tirlittan wrote: »

Hi CMD. And firstly (((hugs))). Rows with partners are always so draining...

So ultimately he would do the same work in Spain as what he did before the music course? So the music will never be viable as first income?

If you really want to move to Spain and that is your ultimate goal, your view of better paid jobs is much more sensible. I think you should relocate if he finds a good job. HTH.

Thanks for replying Tirlittan,

Yes, the music will never be a viable income although we have discussed building a studio in Spain (small one) so that he can teach and rent out and maybe, in the long run, he could reduce the hours that he does in hios other work. That could take years though.

I'm glad you think my idea is sensible. As I said before, it's not like I want to move myself but at the moment the only option is moving home to Ireland (with no jobs) or moving somewhere else in England.

tirlittan

It's just a pragmatical view to be honest. I'm mean who wouldn't wantt to do what they love, i.e. his music, but if it really isn't paying the bills and you want to move to Spain, then there's really not much choice. Hope you sort it out. And as you say, I'm sure he just feels backed into a corner, I'm sure he knows what he needs to do, just doensn't want to. But having baby on the way as well, means you need to be sensible.

clearmydebts

tirlittan wrote: »

It's just a pragmatical view to be honest. I'm mean who wouldn't wantt to do what they love, i.e. his music, but if it really isn't paying the bills and you want to move to Spain, then there's really not much choice. Hope you sort it out. And as you say, I'm sure he just feels backed into a corner, I'm sure he knows what he needs to do, just doensn't want to. But having baby on the way as well, means you need to be sensible.

I have just managed to have a chat with OH and he sent an email to the agency he deals with saying that he is willing to relocate.

He seems in a much better mood this morning and understands that, in actual fact, we are the middle of a recession and we don't have much choice.

tirlittan

clearmydebts wrote: »

I have just managed to have a chat with OH and he sent an email to the agency he deals with saying that he is willing to relocate.

He seems in a much better mood this morning and understands that, in actual fact, we are the middle of a recession and we don't have much choice.

There you go. Glad all is sorted.

clearmydebts

tirlittan wrote: »

There you go. Glad all is sorted.

Thanks. At least he is facing up the reality now rather than sticking his head in the sand.

What about you? Has your BF spoken to you about what you said to him at the weekend?

tirlittan

No. I really don't know what to do. I just don't know what is best.

clearmydebts

tirlittan wrote: »

No. I really don't know what to do. I just don't know what is best.

How about writing him a letter and explaining how you feel? He does owe you some explanation. You have spent 18 moths with him, not 1 month. Has he mentioned anything about taking the next step, such as moving in together?

tirlittan

I've brought both issues on the table to be discussed at various times, like living together. At that point he said he was happy as things were. He's def not ready to move in with me. He can't even say he loves me, though I know he's got deeper feelings for me than he admits.

Anyway, must pop into bank to pay some cheques in now that it's stop bucketing it down. Must go quickly before the rain starts again. Chat later.

CAFCGirl

is it just me or is everything just a bit cr&p right now.....