The (not so old) Crocks Cafe

jazabelle

pipkin71 wrote: »

I see what you're saying - if you explain that you can do things in an adapted way, they will see it as you can do it, but I think the whole idea with DLA is that it is to help with things you can't do.

So, if you can't always cook a meal - and I can't always cook a meal - then you should say that there are times you can't, rather than you always can't. If you can cook a meal through adapting, then you should say you can, even if that means you wont then get DLA.

Those are just my thoughts, obviously. I would rather be 100% honest and let them determine whether or not I get an award, than stray from the truth and say I can't do stuff that I can actually do, albeit with help / adaptions

It would be the truth in my case. Well, I can make a ready meal (but have often forgot about it!), but not a main meal.

The main reason is exhaustion. I often start a meal, and then completely drain of energy and have to have my mum take over. I struggle to lift pans and things with my wrists, I forget what I'm doing half way through, I drop things, I burn myself, I cut myself, etc.

Which is fine to sit here and tell you all - but will I remember all this?

You've all been so helpful and I'm so sorry to keep going on about it, but the more I read the more I panic. It seems they judge everything. What if I am having an okay day? I mean I put I had 'good' days, which mean I can function, but am always in pain. But you can't see pain.

I'm also worried he will ask if I will work, and it will be game over. In actual fact I work with my mum, and she's there at all times to remind me take medication and make my meals. I also work from home when it gets bad (which often means taking work home and doing it in my own time) and above all I still struggle with it. I've sat there digging my fingers into myself trying to stay awake, I've almost overdosed by keeping topping up on painkillers because it hurts so much.

Sorry, this isn't a pity me post, I know we're all there, it's about my worry not to tell the doctor all this, or for him to misunderstand.

black_paw

don't worry your be ok ! .
.think i have over dosed on chocolate bars ! they were 3 for a £1.00 up shop today and cadburys could be the last ones ever made !LOL have eaten all three and have poorly tum ....mmm im allergic to milk...but the taste called me ! as was having ache and pain day and in tears over silly little things ..row with b/f on phone serves him right he knew was bad ill and my temper goes ...sent message are we devoicsed can't spell !! sent message back only when your dead ! lol !!

HopeAndDriftWood

Aww, I'm sorry about the fight BP.
My OH was supposed to come back today after going home yesterday but there were no trains, so he didn't. Felt rubbish all day, and now I'm lonely and saw. My eyes are still horrible and blood shot, and I've got a DLA tribunal to worry about...perfect!

There's no food here either as we planned to go out and eat...rubbish day.

purplecatlover

Jazz try not to worry too much about the work side of things, when i started volunteering, cab told me it would affect my dla as at the very least it would be reviewed. dial told me it wouldnt have any bearing on it and i didnt even have to let dla know.....dial were correct, i rang dla who asked only if i still had the same problems or was i volunteering because there had been an improvement, if it was the same then it was fine. you work despite the problems. does working mean you need more support than you would if you didnt work? your mum is there to help so what exactly does she do? make a list then it can be presented as this is the extra help i need in order to work. (eg you need smeone to make you lunch/carry your tray/whatever and ensure you eat it).
ill say good luck now, in case i forget later, try not to worry non stop about it, and come and worry here, or at me on fb if it helps to tell. worries have a tendency to get slightly better when actually spoken (or written) sometimes.

paw sorry you had an argument with him..lol at the messages hope yopur feeling better this morning.

waves and tea for everyone

Careful_with_that_Axe

Hugs and support to anyone who needs them. Brain not working yet this morning so won't reply individually.
Off to stay with s/e for a couple of days (for anyone who remembers her) - it'll be nice to get away for a bit as I've run myself a bit ragged mentally supporting other people and ended up in a complete panic state. Charity chops here I come!

special 'hugs to my old (tee hee) friend black paw. I'm sorry you were teary - I ate a full chocy bar last night at about midnight too and felt sick. Will watch out for "dead ducks" for you and of course row was all b/f's fault - it always is isn't it? *g*

altocumulus

where is this year going to ?

can we really be near to the end of January already ?

chocolate fudge cake on the side - enjoy.

Oscar_The_Grouch

I started some new nerve pain tablets today... so far so good; my wife tells me I'm not getting on her nerves.....

pipkin71

jazabelle wrote: »

It would be the truth in my case. Well, I can make a ready meal (but have often forgot about it!), but not a main meal.

The main reason is exhaustion. I often start a meal, and then completely drain of energy and have to have my mum take over. I struggle to lift pans and things with my wrists, I forget what I'm doing half way through, I drop things, I burn myself, I cut myself, etc.

Which is fine to sit here and tell you all - but will I remember all this?

You've all been so helpful and I'm so sorry to keep going on about it, but the more I read the more I panic. It seems they judge everything. What if I am having an okay day? I mean I put I had 'good' days, which mean I can function, but am always in pain. But you can't see pain.

I'm also worried he will ask if I will work, and it will be game over. In actual fact I work with my mum, and she's there at all times to remind me take medication and make my meals. I also work from home when it gets bad (which often means taking work home and doing it in my own time) and above all I still struggle with it. I've sat there digging my fingers into myself trying to stay awake, I've almost overdosed by keeping topping up on painkillers because it hurts so much.

Sorry, this isn't a pity me post, I know we're all there, it's about my worry not to tell the doctor all this, or for him to misunderstand.

(((HUGS))) hunny.

Obviously this is playing on your mind.

Why not print out what you have said here, so that you can get all your points across.

If you can't cook a main meal, then you can't cook a main meal, and that is what they need to know.

You can still claim DLA, even if you work, so I don't think it would be 'game over'. You can't say that you don't work, so you need to discuss with the Dr how you manage work, and again, think it all through and write it down.

I personally do not believe the Dr will be trying to catch you out. That's just my opinion, but I've never had issues with them. I think it's easy to believe this is what they do, if people don't get what they expect, but obviously, others will think differently to how I think.

I have good days too - well, days where things are easier than other days. You can see pain etched on a person's face at times, particularly when it's so bad. Again, the Dr will understand about good and bad days. That's one of the issues with chronic pain.

It is easy for me to say try not to worry, so perhaps my advice would be to spend your time before the appointment making a note of how things affect you, so that you are prepared for when the Dr arrives.

Take care.

LameWolf

*Coming very briefly out of lurkdom to reassure Jaz*
the last DLA medical I had was fine; they sent a very nice Indian lady; she was very pleasant, and apologised for hurting me when she tested my movement, and for upsetting me (I was in tears) when she touched on why I can't cope with men other than Mr LW (major childhood abuse) and the upshot was that my mobility element stayed High, and my care element was raised to High although I hadn't requested it, presumably because I need various types of help at night - bathroom breaks, extra pain meds, and reassurance when I get nightmares.
Anyway, my point is, hopefully it won't be anywhere near as bad as you fear.
*goes back to lurking*

altocumulus

jazabelle wrote: »

It would be the truth in my case. Well, I can make a ready meal (but have often forgot about it!), but not a main meal.

The main reason is exhaustion. I often start a meal, and then completely drain of energy and have to have my mum take over. I struggle to lift pans and things with my wrists, I forget what I'm doing half way through, I drop things, I burn myself, I cut myself, etc.

Which is fine to sit here and tell you all - but will I remember all this?

You've all been so helpful and I'm so sorry to keep going on about it, but the more I read the more I panic. It seems they judge everything. What if I am having an okay day? I mean I put I had 'good' days, which mean I can function, but am always in pain. But you can't see pain.

I'm also worried he will ask if I will work, and it will be game over. In actual fact I work with my mum, and she's there at all times to remind me take medication and make my meals. I also work from home when it gets bad (which often means taking work home and doing it in my own time) and above all I still struggle with it. I've sat there digging my fingers into myself trying to stay awake, I've almost overdosed by keeping topping up on painkillers because it hurts so much.

Sorry, this isn't a pity me post, I know we're all there, it's about my worry not to tell the doctor all this, or for him to misunderstand.

you won't forget any of this - you've written it here - print it out !!!

everything you've written indicates that you need the help and therefore qualify !

The application forms are not designed for easy explanation of troubles, but given the opportunity to express them more clearly goes a long way.........

I failed on initial application and through 2 reviews; until I explained why their explanation was wrong - and ended up with more than I asked for.