council house overcrowding/medical, HelpPlease, im in a mess and need good advice!!!

SingleSue

Is there any possibility your four year old son could move into the same bedroom as the 19 year old? I know it isn't ideal but needs must as they say.

Also as others have suggested, would a room rejig help as in moving your 16 year old into another room and all playing swapsies with rooms.

We were told we needed a 4 bedroom house due to 2 of my sons having disabilities, things were absolutely horrendous for quite some time (middle son was extremely violent and aggressive which put a huge strain on all of us, whilst youngest son couldn't cope with noise!) but after a small rejig of space, things have settled now and I have not even been chasing the 4 bed that they said we so sorely needed.

sooz

Pssst wrote: »

Larger houses are few and far between. (Have you considered moving to Ealing?)

You will have a pm box full from complaining Ealing residents

silvercar

Sounds like someone needs to be in bunk beds.

kadiekaismummi

thanks, for your replies......my 19 year old room, is only small, he hasnt even got a wardrobe in it due to space, and my two daughters, are 12 and 7, and they have bunkbeds so, I still havnt room, ... but thanks anyway for your advice x........... and as for having my last son, i was on the pill, and was very surprised and shocked of becoming pregnant,and would never have had an abortion, he was meant to be and i love him lots x but was really worried due to space, but thought, hey, in a few years time maybe my eldest son would leave home, but i really dont want to throw him out, hes a good lad, and doesnt deserve that, hes been through a real tough time this year......we all have, my husband couldnt handle the thought of splitting the family up, wouldnt do us any good whatsoever.......... thanks for your views

Tiger_greeneyes

You sound beyond desperate, clearly it'll be much more comfortable for your family to have 5 bedrooms - which, unfortunately, the council have said they don't have. It seems, therefore, that you only have two options - if it's really important to have 5 bedrooms, then you could move into a 5 bedroom privately rented house (you're fortunate that you rent your property so you won't have to wait for it to sell, you could be moved by Christmas if not well before) or rejig your rooms - move your 2 sons into bunk beds in the same room (as your eldest is refusing to move out, despite knowing how overcrowded you are, I'm sure he'll be reasonable enough to understand he'll have to share with his brother) and swap bedrooms around so your daughter can have the quieter room she desperately needs. I know it's not ideal but life chucks these things at us from time to time. Your poor husband deserves to sleep in his own bed and the two of you need your privacy much more than a 19 year old does! Personally, I'd try rejigging the bedrooms before tackling moving a whole house, it may well be a good compromise

Tiger_greeneyes

kadiekaismummi wrote: »

we only have a large kitchen/diner, but the door leads to both so cant seperate, and my sone wouldnt move out, and i wouldnt throw him out, its just not fair, i couldnt tell him, hes got to move out

There's another option - if you've got a large kitchen/diner, why don't you put your eldest son or two daughters into the living room?

vivatifosi

Have any of the larger bedrooms got more than one window? If so, you may be able to get a stud-work partition erected to split the room into two. This is an easy job and may solve the problem quickly.

alfiesmum

You want to have a five bed house, which your council doesn't have. So you've got info about applying for an extension to be built, but you don't want that. They've offered to give your oldest son a flat, but you don't want that either. It sounds a bit like you want a shiney new house, and you think that'll solve everything. Trouble is, where you live doesn't change all the illnesses that you're family suffers from hun. Your daughter will still have operations to go through, your husband will still have depression (which by the way will suffer TEN FOLD having to arrange a house move), I think it's easy to focus on other things when we feel overwhelmed. Swap your rooms around, get everyone together tonight , put your thinking caps on, and tell the rest of the family your worries. Maybe they'll come up with a few ideas even? You have an awful lot on your plate, four year old not sleeping, husband depressed, your daughter so ill, and another with asthma - a house move too would send me over the edge!! Might not be best at all really. Give some of the suggestions a chance, might be better really? Ad like I said your council don't have want you want. xxx

GracieP

I do think your best bet here is to re-jig things a little. Your four year old son should either move in with his brother or his two sisters if they aren't so old that it will be embarrassing for them. Apart from your 16yo who needs one, private rooms are a luxury for children. Obviously at 19 sharing with a 4yo will be a shock to the system for your eldest, but it's what has to be done.

I don't mean to sound harsh but my dad grew up in a 3 bed house with 9 siblings. Although his eldest sister died before some of his younger siblings were born, so there were never more than 11 people living in the house at a time. My mum grew up in a 3 bed house with 4 brothers. Initially this worked out with her in the single room, my grandparents in the small double and my 4 uncles in the biggest room (and there's 13 years between my oldest and youngest uncle). But when my mum was 13 my grandfather was diagnosed with aggressive TB and had to move into her room while my mum had to share with my gran. (No wonder she got married at 18 and my dad at 19;)).

I know it isn't ideal, and it's easy for those of us who aren't in your position to tell you to get on with things. But I think that's what you'll have to do. And I have to say that if I was a council officer I'd probably be reluctant to re-house a family who need a separate bedroom for a 19 year old. I'd be thinking he might meet the love/lust of his life in 6 months time and move out. Whereas I could have 10 families on my list with younger children or dependent adults who would be more likely to need the bigger house for longer.

JimmyTheWig

What are the chances of saving up a deposit and privately renting a 5-bed house?