council house overcrowding/medical, HelpPlease, im in a mess and need good advice!!!

kadiekaismummi

Hi, dont know where to start really, I have a lovely 4 bed house on the edge of a housing estate in surrey, consists of myself and D/H and 4 year old son (bedroom 1), my 19yr old son (bedroom 2) my two daughters (bedroom3) and my 16 year old daughter (bedroom 4)...... Firstly, my 16 year old daughter, since birth has had medical problems, she has a massive cyst on her brain and has had surgery for this, and about 6 weeks ago had to have further surgery for her condition, (actually another 4 ops) and things are still not right ......Shes has to have her own bedroom due to her condition, she needs her own peace and quite as most of the time she feels unwell, and suffers bad headaches and other problems sociated with her condition........ My husband has been depressed for the last two half years, and recently, it has become quite servere, and is on depression tabs, beta blockers for his heart and sleeping tabs he is also under a health worker......... my 4 year old son, also has to sleep with us due to not enough bedrooms, he is still sleeping in a cot, has theres just not enough space in our room to fit a bed for him, so his sleeping, at the moment isnt too good, as he is head and toe of his cot, many nights he climbes out of his cot, where he is so uncomfortable and gets in to our bed, which means my D/H is back to the settee, this is causing his depression to worsen, without all the pressures of my 16 year olds illness and our living conditions........actually while writing this my 16 year old daughter has just rang us up as she isnt feeling too good, her first day at college which she has been looking so forward too and has been delayed for 6 weeks!, my husband is on his way to collect her now............
What im actually getting at is, I have been on councils transfer list, waiting for a 5 bed for the last 3 years, Council told me there are NO, 5 beds, they dont own any, so really im going to be here forever waiting for a larger property to come along, and now being a bidding system which is much harder, not that any 4 beds come up very often, there has actually in the last 3 years been 2 4 bed houses come up for bidding!!!, that i cant even bid for as its too small, but if there was one that had an extra room, i could make into a 5th bedroom , that would be brilliant, but im not going to find that out, due to not being able to bid for a 4 bed.............. so im really stuck!!!..... At the moment our situation has got worse..... the reason being, next to our house, we have a little carpark, which has never been used for the past 10 years, well, hardly ever and was very quiet..... they are currently in the progress of building two three bed houses there, it is about three foot away from my ill daughters bedroom, and these houses will have drives too, which is going to be next to my daughters bedroom, so she will not have any quietness, which she really needs.........I have ask my housing association to help move me, but they too, have no bigger properties, especially, now they are building these houses, but We just have to live as we are..........
A friend of mine has just told me of a run down house, which is a five minute drive from us, with 4 bedrooms and an extra room, which is ideal for the 5th bedroom, which belongs to council, we have gone and had a look at it, it needs lots of work doing to it, but its quieter and its got that extra room, which we so need to help sort out our difficulties, and help my daughter have the quietness she needs....
I have rang the council this morning to see what I can do, as when this house does eventually go out for bidding, its going to go out as a 4 bed!!!!!.... even though, its easily a 5 bed.........which Im not entitled to bid on because it will be listed as a 4 bed property.......... but its so ideal for us......... I spoke to an housing officer, who must have got out of the wrong side of bed, he wasnt helpful at all, and said he knows nothing of this property, (probably cos its not even been looked at by them yet, in need of repairs).... and stressed how did i know about it, and i shouldnt have been told about it!!!!........and in a way Ive no hope of getting it........... my housing association officer has stressed to me that if they give me a home they can have mine for one of their tennants, so they wouldnt loose out, they would have me off their waiting list and still have a 4 bed house in good condition for the house.......... I feel so down and upset,Ive cried allday, i dont know what else i can do, Im seeing my doctor this afternoon, and also have made an appointment to see my local MP on saturday, I was hoping someone out there could give me some of their good advice, i know MSE is good for that, so please if anyone has any good ideas or can think of anything i havent already done, please let me know........only good advice, I really dont need anyone, having a go at the moment, as im already having to deal with more than i can handle,Sorry the post is so long winded!!!, but didnt know how to put it over to you all..... thanks xxx......... thanks in advance x

poppysarah

Ask about an extension for your disabled daughter.

I know someone who've had an extra room put on their council house by the council for a disabled child.

Is your oldest son at 19 ready to fly the nest?

You need to speak to your daughters case worker .

RoxieW

Is your 19 year old working/able to support himself? If so your daughter could move into his room away from the building work hopefully and 4 year old could have her room?
Also, extension would be good idea if there is room on the back. Clearly, your four year old cant continue sleeping as he is. Can he share with 19 year old? Or is there a room downstairs - dining room for example you could convert into a bedroom? With four bedrooms upstairs there must be a reasonable amount of space downstairs surely?

Maysie

i would copy and paste that and send it to your local mp for advice. Have you a doctors letters in your file with council that could help your case.

kadiekaismummi

Hi, thanks, while my daughter was in hospital, i did get to speak to a case worker about this, and she has given me details of who to contact regarding extension, but due to all thats happening, i havent done nothing about it yet, and its going to take time having this all done, forgot to mention also, one of my daughters whos shares a room with my other daughter has asthma, so the dust wouldnt be too good, and thought the property ive seen would be a much quicker, easier option for us all...... and regards to my 19 year old, no way will he go, he loves home too much, he told us hes going to stay here forever, guess much easier for him.......... my housing officer has even told me that they will give him a 1 bed flat to ease the overcrowding, but we dont want to split our family up, and nor does he.......

tinkerbell84

Maysie wrote: »

i would copy and paste that and send it to your local mp for advice. Have you a doctors letters in your file with council that could help your case.

Break it up into paragraphs though

Make your 19 year old sleep on the sofa if he won't leave home and move the 4 year old into his room.

kadiekaismummi

RoxieW wrote: »

Is your 19 year old working/able to support himself? If so your daughter could move into his room away from the building work hopefully and 4 year old could have her room?
Also, extension would be good idea if there is room on the back. Clearly, your four year old cant continue sleeping as he is. Can he share with 19 year old? Or is there a room downstairs - dining room for example you could convert into a bedroom? With four bedrooms upstairs there must be a reasonable amount of space downstairs surely?

we only have a large kitchen/diner, but the door leads to both so cant seperate, and my sone wouldnt move out, and i wouldnt throw him out, its just not fair, i couldnt tell him, hes got to move out

kadiekaismummi

Maysie wrote: »

i would copy and paste that and send it to your local mp for advice. Have you a doctors letters in your file with council that could help your case.

Actually, i was thinking of doing this as i was writing it, may do this too, even though im seeing him on saturday

RoxieW

I'd let go of the other house you've seen. Once councils decide that its a four bed they can be very fixed in their ways. Even if not, it may go to someone else - a homeless family living in B and B for example.
No offence but where did you think your four year old was going to sleep when you had him? I understand your 19 year old may not want to move out but he may have to. He's at an independent age whereas your 4 year old deserves to be sleeping in a suitable space. You cant have your cake and eat it. Although the extension would solve your problem - I'd fill the forms in and bite there hand off if its offered!! I hope you find a solution - it must be difficult - especially as your four year old isnt likely to get any smaller!

Pssst

Phew that was a long story.

It seems like you should be ok in your 4 bedroom house as it seems likely that one or more of your older children might just move on in the forcthcoming few years?

Larger houses are few and far between. (Have you considered moving to Ealing?)

I only live in a wee small house also,i have a neighbour whom i despise because she makes too much noise. I work crazy hours and i too get fed up and depressed. Who said life was easy? I just get on with it because what else is there to do?

alfiesmum

How old are your two daughters in bedroom three? If they're young enough they could share with the four year old, if you give them all the biggest bedroom. Of course it seems obvious to put the four year old in with the other son, but I'm probably just not thinking of something. I appreciate your son needs privacy, but more so than your husband needs a place to sleep? Naah. Swap your poorly 16 year old daughters bedroom away from where the noise of the building work that is going to happen, that's easy to solve really. I don't think any of the problems are insurmountable, but I'm sure with so much to think about at the moment, it must be difficult to see the wood for the trees. Is there any other reason why you want to move out of the house you have and into another, bigger, one?
Hope your daughter is on the mend soon. My daughter was quite ill when she was younger and I know how this can have a ripple effect throughout the whole household.