Enquiry about benefits and housing?

bathgatebuyer

My god, I'm a 32 yr old with no kids and I find it difficult to cope on £32K a year and that's with no kids and no other half! The naivety of the original (and follow-up) post is terrifying.

It sounds like a nice little cosy plan with working full-time at Wetherspoons and studying and all, but having a kid will ruin even the best laid plans. Despite the photos in the glossy magazines, babies are t little sweet-smelling wee angels, they are demanding drains on your time, energy and finances wh put a strain on even the strongest of relationships.

By all means plan a future with your other half which involves having children, but why not do it when you have the life experience to pass something valuable onto them rather than when you are both little more than children yourselves? And, when your own careers are on a more established footing? Now, that would be the more responsible, sensible and mature option.

Also, have a look through some of the other parts of this board and you'll soon see that for every council house (or one bedroomed flat) which becomes available, there are often HUNDREDS of people on the waiting list. You really are not ready for children at all.

SomeBozo

Please say this in a wind up.

I have contacted MSE to see if the OP can be traced, he clearly needs help (and not from the benefits system).

Bozo

Bogof_Babe

I would be more convinced if the OP had said they wanted a *child* not a *baby*, as at least that would show some degree of comprehension about what they are actually intending to take on.

Cute cuddly newborn babies are one thing, even if you don't get much sleep at least you can coo over them in their cot and cart them around in a sling or buggy. Feeding them is "on tap" and doesn't cost anything.

When you are 20 and your g/f is 18 you will have a "terrible twos" charging around the place screeching, having tantrums, not allowing you to even pop out for a loaf of bread without half an hour of organisation, getting through clothes like there's no tomorrow and possibly needing its finicky appetite coaxed and catered for. You will still be working full time in a restaurant and your g/f will be too shattered to do anything with the education she has struggled through sleepless nights to obtain.

There is a very real risk that before the child starts school you will have split up due to the strain of it all, and will then have a little person to fit into your new lives and pay for for the next 12 years minimum.

Babies should never be had for selfish reasons, or they will be resented rather than cherished. Tell us again just why you want one?

krisskross

If it was my 16 year old daughter you were planning to impregnate you would be missing your cojones.

Have you discussed it with her mother? This is probably who will be picking up the pieces and left holding the baby......literally.

lic

How about, going to Uni, passing the degree course, getting a job, and finally, FUNDING YOUR FAMILY YOURSELF, AND NOT SPONGING OFF THE STATE.
I thought people who wanted degrees had to have a modicum of sense! You have proved me wrong in this assumption.
Stick to Wetherspoon's and forget about education, as you would only waste it.

Mips

See you on the CSA boards soon Mr

parisjordana

I dont think this poster is for real,I think its kids having a laugh and trying to wind folk up....if it isnt then this poster is showing serious signs of immaturity and definately not ready to be a father...but I truly belive this isnt for real.

alison999

what to say? at 24 i have 2 children, the first at 19. both kids have the same day and we are still together (since i was 16). im generally happy but there are days where i feel grumpy and very sorry for myself. i feel like ive missed out on a lot of stuff - college, going out with friends etc.

i feel im very grown up for my age BUT it is really hard to be patient with kids WHEN YOU ARE A KID YOURSELF.

i feel awful for saying this - and i dont regret having them for one minute BUT if i could have the exact same kids 10 years later than i would. because it would make me a BETTER PARENT.

if this 'shadow' poster is real then my msg to you is to put the CHILD first. you may be certain that you want a baby, but would your baby want YOU?

parisjordana

Alison I get what you are saying,and dont feel awful for saying it....you are a super mum that comes over in your post,I had my children in my twenties and also one in my thirties (and same as you all the same father) and im a different mum in my thirties to what I was in my twenties (if you get my meaning) so i know exactly what you mean.....

alison999

parisjordana wrote: »

Alison I get what you are saying,and dont feel awful for saying it....you are a super mum that comes over in your post,I had my children in my twenties and also one in my thirties (and same as you all the same father) and im a different mum in my thirties to what I was in my twenties (if you get my meaning) so i know exactly what you mean.....

i just sometimes dont have the patience i wish i had with them, or the life experience to use to teach them about things as im still learning so much myself. i just really hate posts like this, (i know it might not be real but its still happening), or school kids pregnent that think its great. yes it is great but its what comes after. people dont seem to think further than the next year let alone 18 years away!

ive always been told im v. mature for my age but i feel really bad for the ones that are a young 16- 17 (going on 12) because its really hard seeing all your friends going out every week, having a lot more money than you to go on nice holidays, having the nice clothes etc... i love my babies with all my heart but sometimes it hard and i dont think young kids get that.