pregnant and worried about mortgage

traveller

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Worth pointing out that Care Confidential are a pro life (ie anti abortion) group and that you won't get unbiaised advice that includes discussing abortion as an option.

Hi I was UNAWARE of that.When I went along I was given info on both options.I had no idea what to do for the best last year and was scared witless.I can honestly say my advice was unbiased and was more a sounding board.They also said If I had a termination I could come back for counselling if i so wished.However, that was only MY experience.Yours(or someone who you know ,who has used the service) may have had a different experience.I would never knowingly post a site that was one way or the other, as this would not be particularly helpful.

onlyroz

Some suggestions, most of which have been pointed out already:

- Try and chase up on the CSA, but I suspect this will take a while and is not an immediate solution.
- Speak to your mortgage company about taking a payment holiday whilst on maternity leave. Whether you are able to do this will depend on how much equity you have in your house, and how much of the mortgage you have actually paid off since you took out the mortgage.
- Once back at work after maternity leave you will likely qualify for a combination child tax credits, working tax credits or childcare vouchers. These are intended to help you cover child-care costs, which are likely to be in the £500-£800 a month range. People on low incomes, however, can often get the majority of these costs paid.
- If the father of the new child sticks with you then great. If not then he should still contribute to the child's up-keep.
- Other options might include asking family to help with childcare once the bundle of joy arrives, or taking in a lodger (one who likes babies). And yes, abortion is an option but only you know whether that's one you'd consider.

DIVA07984

Wow - thank you all for the help and support - as i stated i have nobody else to speak to right now about things- because i need to work out what i am doing in my own mind first. I am surprised that you ladies are so helpful-thanks again

If i rented out my house - and rented somewhere else - would i not be able to claim housing benefit ??

Those helplines i will give them a call - when i can do a sneaky out of the office

And yes you are so right i cant ask anything yet at work cause it would be spread around(even if only amongst the managers. My boss has entered into partnership with the hw group. I have been looking frantically on their websites - but they have nothing posted about maternity

I do think Mrs Tine - that i should restart my action plan to the csa - They sent me a statement about 5/6 months ago saying he owed i think about 8k.
They have his address - he doesnt respond to letters. He actually owns his house - but he always told me that he would make sure that i didnt get any money from him

He has his own buisness -(with a partner)- at the time was not short of money as i did the books for him back then

They have called him numerous occassions - he answers - then says no its not him

I had given the csa his registration no - i have personal bank statements, mortgage offers - i have these because they all were left at the house that we used to share together

Nothing seems to make a difference- oh yes and i have had about 5 different people working on the case - and bits of the file keeps going missing

So what can i do when i have given them all i know

MrsTinks

You might want to talk to a solicitor about that... You can often get a free 30 minute consultation with solicitors to find out of there is anything you can do... failing that I wonder if you can apply to the courts to have it recognised as a debt and threaten him with a CCJ or charging order? Hmmm wouldn't THAT be justice!
You could also try and contact your local MP about the CSA failing to act on your case Hey if you don't try you won't find out!

If i rented out my house - and rented somewhere else - would i not be able to claim housing benefit ??

No it is my understanding that you won't. BUT you really really need to speak to the councils benefit department to make sure - and if they say that yes you can GET IT IN WRITING!!!

My_Fathers_Daughter

DIVA07984 wrote: »

If i rented out my house - and rented somewhere else - would i not be able to claim housing benefit ??

No, you can't. Your house would be considered as an assett and the rent would be considered as income so you wouldn't qualify for a means tested benefit (highly unlikely at best).

It doesn't matter what you are advised and what you get in writing they can claim any payments back (and will do so) that were paid to you when you didn't qualify - even if it was their mistake.

Spendless

If mortgage company won't offer a break see if they will sccept reduced payments for a while. Mine once did this for me when I faced financial difficulty. IIRC I paid half for 6 months, and then was in a position to pay back the arrears.

Your 18yo- does she claim/is she eligible for EMA? Ditto the 16yo if they are in further education.

Is baby's dad going to be financially helping?

DIVA07984

18year does claim ema - the other is still at school just turned 16(early birthday) so doesnt claim

As i stated in previous posts - i am trying to see if i willbe able to manage first. I have been left with 3 kids before and dont want to struggle with one more . If the dad contributes etc then i am happy - but unfortunately i have been there before so must consider what could happen

ceridwen

MrsTine wrote: »

and some will probably strongly disagree with this but I'll say it none the less... IF you can't afford this have you thought about termination? I'm not saying it's the only solution or one you agree with but I think you need to think of it if the 3 other children are your responcibility too. You have a duty of care to all of them too and not just the new pregnancy.

I read your post earlier today - and didnt want to say this as "tactful I aint" - but if there are problems with the N.H.S. getting an abortion - then there is always the Marie Stopes Clinics. I googled the other day to check a point and found out that its quite a reasonable cost - it varies according to how far advanced the pregnancy is - but I remember thinking "If I was in that position I would have found out in time for it to be no more than the £500 odd touch - so even a few weeks later than that wont be more than £700 odd".

Its also a good point re the responsibilities you have towards your existing children - my own mother just had the standard 2 children - but I remember being very well aware that she couldnt afford the 2nd one (ie my brother) and I was having to do without necessities even because of him (still feel a bit resentful now if I sit and think about it - though I know we were both born before the era of Contraceptive Pill/legal abortion - so it was still the "accidents could happen era"). I'm only thankful that she did stick to the standard 2 - as I would have gone ballistic if she had had a 3rd child. I remember heaving a sigh of relief when I realised Mother Nature had ensured she was now too old to have any more children - I can still recall thinking "thank goodness I'm not going to have any more brothers or sisters".

ceridwen

littlemissmoney wrote: »

Can the 16 and 18 year old not work part time to help out?

Errrrr..why should they? They had no say in this. It would be unfair to expect them to suffer because of a pregnancy they had no say in - and it could possibly disrupt their education. They were in a position where they "knew" they werent going to have any more brothers or sisters - and had probably already heaved sighs of relief about that fact.

ceridwen

[quote=traveller;14618829
I don't know how your kids feel, but my teenager was dead against me.Now my baby is here he won't put him down, so any negativity from the kids if you have encountered it,is short lived.Take care.[/quote]

Well...it was in his case. Its still there decades later in my case. People vary. Many children will continue to feel "negative" about unwanted siblings for the rest of their life. Maybe too in your case you could afford the extra child - so your teenager accepted their sibling more readily. Divas 3 existing children are doubtless well aware that she cant afford another child - so are more likely to remain feeling "negative".