pregnant and worried about mortgage

Loopy_Girl

I found myself in this situation 7 years ago when I found out I was pregnant. HB wouldn't have came through for 39 weeks by which time the mortgage company would have repo'd I'm sure.

So I just waited until I was 7 months pregnant and put it on the market. Better to sell it than having to hand the keys back.

I ws then in council accomodation for 18 months and then a HA flat for 4.5 years but I FINALLY was able to buy a house again last year.

I'm not saying this to upset you but it could be a very real possibilty and you need to think that this could have to be an option. We all want the best for our kids but sometimes you have to take a few steps (and swallow a bit pride too) back to enable you to move forward again.

As others have said though (and I am not getting involved in that melting pot!!), in this day and age women have choices. You need to sit and have a think about what you want to do. I turned the phone off for a whole weekend whilst I made my decision 10 days after finding out. I knew the Dad wasn't going to hang around so it was going to be a massive massive change in my life.

Good luck to you xxx

bobblebot

You will survive...I did! I was left with 4 children by an ex who doesn't offer a penny to their upkeep (aged 11-15). I ended up voluntary letting my house be repossessed because it was in negative equity situation and I would get help in a rented property. I mey someone else and after 2 years got pregnant again (he didn't live with me) had baby. I worked PT and tax credits paid childcare, got surestart maternity grant £500 and childcare paid for others whilst on maternity leave. I got maternity allowance of £118 for 9 months. I got married and got pregnant again recently, he moved in then he left when found out I was pregnant (I was on pill) so I am now a single parent again, no contributions from either dad (wa*kers), but I am doing a FT PGCE that is paying me £9000 bursary and £10000 grants and I get tax credits, childcare paid and something towards my rent and work PT. It is hard, I'm up at 6am and don't sit down till 10.30 but it's worth it. I am now about to move into a beautiful huge 5 bed house and even though I miss my ex, I don't NEED them. You can and will be just fine on your own.

This will be my last baby, it may be an accident but I don't regret any of them. I may be single again but I count myself blessed to have the chance to have little ones in my life again. I may not have a man in my life but then men just seem to let me down, so I would rather now be on my own. I work, have worked all my life so If I get a little assistance in tax credits/housing benefit I think I have put enough in the system (21 years) to justify it.
Good luck.

DIVA07984

Thanks for all your posting -

I am off to the doctor on friday - not sure why/or what i am going to do . I dont beleive in abortion for me- but am not against anyone else choosing this (and have supported others going through it) - cause as much as i dont like the idea - it has wavering through my mind. I am confused!!
Most people meet someone and expect to stay with them - like i did when i had my first two kids - then opps i had a third by him(this one was not planned - but i was on the pill) Things were crazy before the baby came and it only worsened - then split.

My current partner is there -BUT i have been left high and dry before - which is why i want to know/see if can manage by myself - IF he leaves/or doesnt want to be involved. (men can be upredictable/unreliable.Once i feel confident -especially with my housing situation i know i will be ok.

My kids - partner dont know anything yet . I dont think my workplace has a suped up maternity package - as i work for a small company.

Someone mentioned that whilst on maternity leave - working tax increase your money - does anyone know by apprx how much ??

I am at work whilst i am posting this - when i get home/finished there are always people around - so finding it difficult to find things out. Which is why i was asking - bearing in mind i havent been in this situation for 11 years - when i happened then - my life wasnt where - it is now.

If i were to rent out my house - and rented somewhere - would that enable me to claim hb- or will the fact that i have a house be a problem??

Staciep88

Hi there,

I don't have any advice for you, I just wanted to say how great you are doing and how brave you are!! Good luck with everything xx

churchrat

just to add my pennyworth--not really got any advice to give, just to say that I expect that the op had already heard about abortions and how to have protected sex before she came on this forum. I think she asked a question about managing the situation she has and wondering how other people managed.
Things do go wrong in this life, if that hasn't happened to you yet I would say "thats fantastic, hope it continues" but the truth is you never know whats around the corner, and you can only insure yourself for the problems you can foresee, and hope that they don't last longer than you can cope with.

MrsTinks

DIVA07984 wrote: »

Thanks for all your posting -

I am off to the doctor on friday - not sure why/or what i am going to do . I dont beleive in abortion for me- but am not against anyone else choosing this (and have supported others going through it) - cause as much as i dont like the idea - it has wavering through my mind. I am confused!!
Most people meet someone and expect to stay with them - like i did when i had my first two kids - then opps i had a third by him(this one was not planned - but i was on the pill) Things were crazy before the baby came and it only worsened - then split.

My current partner is there -BUT i have been left high and dry before - which is why i want to know/see if can manage by myself - IF he leaves/or doesnt want to be involved. (men can be upredictable/unreliable.Once i feel confident -especially with my housing situation i know i will be ok.

My kids - partner dont know anything yet . I dont think my workplace has a suped up maternity package - as i work for a small company.

Someone mentioned that whilst on maternity leave - working tax increase your money - does anyone know by apprx how much ??

I am at work whilst i am posting this - when i get home/finished there are always people around - so finding it difficult to find things out. Which is why i was asking - bearing in mind i havent been in this situation for 11 years - when i happened then - my life wasnt where - it is now.

If i were to rent out my house - and rented somewhere - would that enable me to claim hb- or will the fact that i have a house be a problem??

Diva glad to see you back If you feel termination isn't for you that's great Let's move forward and try and find a solution down a different path in that case
I don't know about wether even owning a house will affect you HB - but I would imagine it would to be honest... Your best bet is to contact your local council and asking them.

As for work maternity - you might be surprised - the best maternity package I've yet come across was in a small company where I used to work - because it was small and felt like family they were very up on making everyone as keen as possible to return to work but feeling happy to be back and not resentful - check your contract or speak to the HR person - if you ask them to not inform anyone else then they should keep quiet as it's told in confidence.

I really think you should try again for the CS from your ex for the other children - it MIGHT make the difference between you keeping your home or not. I think that is worth one last crack at it isn't it?

Please please please post your SOA... It really WILL help us give you some answers. And do have a look at www.entitledto.co.uk and enter your details pre and post baby.

And don't forget about the 50,000 freebies for babies that are floating around - these will definitely make a difference to making things more comfortable all round and saving money

Best wishes

T

MrsTinks

Ok found this on Housing Benefits - from what I can see then as long as you own your own property you wouldn't qualify for housing benefits...

On that page there is also a link to find out if you qualify in your area by the criteria set by your council - as it greatly depends on your income then I'd have a look at what you think your new income will be after the baby arrives.

traveller

Hi Diva, glad to see you are back on.Please do contact care confidential services.It's a free non biased counselling service, that give advice for women that find themselves in this situation.They are based all over the country.The telelephone number is 0800 028 2228.I found them invaluable in having to make sense of it all as like yourself I am against abortion for myself-but I would never judge anyone else.

It might be an idea to talk to a lone parent adviser at DWP BEFORE you talk to anyone at your job.The fact it's a small company, would make me wary of speaking to them, before I knew where I stood in every other aspect.

Oh and another thing-things have really changed from 11 years ago-pregnancy is treated in as much the same way as a common cold regarding the doctors!They have you in and out before you have you coat off:D Seriously though,do speak to CC, they are brilliant and support you and it's FREE-I found out about them on this site.

Loopy_Girl

MrsTine wrote: »

Ok found this on Housing Benefits - from what I can see then as long as you own your own property you wouldn't qualify for housing benefits...

On that page there is also a link to find out if you qualify in your area by the criteria set by your council - as it greatly depends on your income then I'd have a look at what you think your new income will be after the baby arrives.

Technically it is right...you don't get Housing Benefit for a mortgaged home, it is called Mortgage Interest Relief or something like that...but as it is paid to people in receipt of benefits everyone calls it HB.

Wouldn't be payable till the 39th week of receipt of benefit (reducing to 13 weeks from next April) and you have to be on a prescribed benefit to get it (so not WTC). It gets sent directly to the mortgage company for you unlike HB which gets (or can do if you so choose) paid to you.

Oldernotwiser

traveller wrote: »

Hi Diva, glad to see you are back on.Please do contact care confidential services.It's a free non biased counselling service, that give advice for women that find themselves in this situation.They are based all over the country.The telelephone number is 0800 028 2228.I found them invaluable in having to make sense of it all as like yourself I am against abortion for myself-but I would never judge anyone else.

Worth pointing out that Care Confidential are a pro life (ie anti abortion) group and that you won't get unbiaised advice that includes discussing abortion as an option.