Can't sleep..

stebiz

Shoozles wrote: »

Well, it's been an ok day. I've got plenty of work done in the end, just finishing off the last few bits for the night.

I've got a telephone appointment with payplan on thursday.

I've dowloaded an application form to apply for a second job.

A few Ebay listings ended today and a handbag which has been sitting under my bed for ages went for £41!!!

I tried to complete about 6 surveys with Ciao but wasn't eligible for any of them! Still, I got 6 entries into the prize draw lol!

I found a mystery shopping assignment to do, but unfortunately I can't download the details as they crashed my IE! I'll keep checking back for more though and sign up if they are close enough to me. I need to find more mystery shopping sites to sign up to.

I've booked another event for work on saturday, as I had a rare free weekend. Sounds promising.

I was fuming with OH though! As I said, I wasn't going to mention money to him today, but I found the music review site that's mentioned on here, where you can earn a few pennies for reviews, and thought he would like it as he loves music. He said he couldn't see how he would have the time.

He finished work at 4.30 as he does every day and has just done the usual relaxing and watching tv since. He does this all weekend too. He also downloads music tracks to listen to and enjoy, but it seemed the thought of earning extra money put him off. I am quite angry really. This was just after I told him I'd found another job to apply for. I already work 15 hours a day 7 days a week!!

Anyway, apart from that, a generally good day, must keep up all the effort and I will get there eventually!

Thank you everyone for all the help and advice.

I feel sorry for you having to burden all this. However I think I can understand your boyfriends reasoning (not that I agree with it). He probably feels that he is on board a ship which has a huge 'gash' in the side and is sinking fast. He probably wishes it would just sink and he could get on with his life with his girlfriend.

Until you can stem these leaks (interest etc on loans) it really does appear you will be treading water, and often your head will go under. I think if I was in your position I'd 'dump' all the loans. Agree £5 each month on each one. Then move on. That is similar to what I did 7 years ago. Then I targeted each credit agreement and had most written off. After 7 years my credit file is back to normal. I know there will be those on here who will find what I did wrong but I made this decision on behalf of my health and my family.

Your health is so more important than money.

Stebiz

stebiz

Shoozles wrote: »

Me too! I wasn't eligible for the £7 survey and then every other one I applied for was worth about 10p or something like that, but not those either!

This won't help you a lot but might be worth a go. On butlins bingo if you have a credit on your account you get a free scratch card each day that you rub off online. If you deposit £10 you can get a minimum of 80p a week (you get 2 on Sunday). After you have won your first 10p remove your £10 and then save up all your 10p's. Don't be tempted to gamble anything. Just use it as a piggy bank. You might be lucky and win more on the scratch card.

Regards
Stebiz

Sue-UU

Shoozles wrote: »

I was fuming with OH though! As I said, I wasn't going to mention money to him today, but I found the music review site that's mentioned on here, where you can earn a few pennies for reviews, and thought he would like it as he loves music. He said he couldn't see how he would have the time.

He finished work at 4.30 as he does every day and has just done the usual relaxing and watching tv since. He does this all weekend too. He also downloads music tracks to listen to and enjoy, but it seemed the thought of earning extra money put him off. I am quite angry really. This was just after I told him I'd found another job to apply for. I already work 15 hours a day 7 days a week!!

Hi again Shoozles and well done with your days work, especially the ebay sales!!!! :T Incidentally, I gave up with Ciao a good 4 years ago as I was so fed up with their empty promises of 'earning good money'! I'm now with Global Test Market (you still don't get to complete all of them either, but far better than Ciao) and You Gov every time I get a survey from them I am ALWAYS able to go right through to the end and earn the money promised. I've already earned £70 with them so far, though you don't get any money until you earn £50, but they are so good.

Just one other thing to say at present with regards your situation. Hold back on all the good news about what orders you're getting and feed him the "It must be due to the credit crunch as people are saying they just can't afford it this year, so I don't know what we'll do" Maybe that will give him the kick up the rear that he needs and IF you are thinking of getting a 2nd job then suggest both of you do so the bills get paid far sooner! From there on get things in both your names or equal those bills between you names wise. So long as you put everything in your name, he'll carry on letting you!

Please let/make him shoulder all of this Schoozles before you become ill again! I still stand by all I said on page 1.

Good luck and keep chatting to us and good luck with him tomorrow and for you on Thursday. One way or the other, you deserve a break!

Sue

Shoozles

Morning, thank you very much for your replies. Sue I'm definitely going to keep chatting to you all, I'm finding it so helpful to write it all down like this!

I love it when a sale comes in, and as quite a few of them came in last night every time I called out to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I'm pretty sure he thinks that if I say, 'I've just had a £20 sale!' then that's £20 of his salary I don't need. But as I was saying yesterday, it doesn't work like that.

With the money issues taking over everything (in my life anyway) I can't see our relationship clearly, or remember why we got together in the first place. Stebiz I think that's where you were coming from with your post. I've told you the hours I work, so we don't spend any time together at all.

My best friend has offered me a place to stay and a place to work. Another friend has offered me use of a garage for storage. This would involve moving 'back home', which is about 50 miles away from where I live now. So if I was to take them up on their offer, that's the majority of my monthly outgoings gone. I'd have to take all the debts with me, but a DMP would be much easier to work out. Of course my boyfriend doesn't know any of this, and to leave would be an awful thing to do to him as his salary is about the same amount as the monthly rent, let alone anything else. It's tough though.

In my worst moments I feel that he has totally drained me. Not just financially, but I also don't get to spend time with my friends any more, because of his anxiety he doesn't like me staying away, and my best friend won't come to stay because she isn't too keen on him. His friends come to stay quite regularly though.

That's how I got to sleep last night. I was daydreaming about a new life.

Anyway, on with some work now. Another main thing is that I absolutely LOVE the work that I do, and perhaps a financially savvy other half wouldn't have let me become self employed when things were tough. Two sides to every story!

Arne_2

I read your thread with interest as I have gone through something similar when I was married. My suggestion is could you not go and stay with your friend for a few nights and that would help clear your head? I know living in a bit of an "atmophere" can get to you so you dont think straight or can evaluate your feelings as your are on such a roller coaster.

Shoozles

Thank you Arne. It's something I have thought about, but what makes it difficult is working from home, so to do this I would have to arrange a weekend off work!I'm definitely going to try to do it though, and I did mention it to my boyfriend quite recently. I just told him that I missed my friends and would love to spend a bit of time with them. He wasn't too happy but he understood.

Kmac_Edin

Is it possible to move to a cheaper place to reduce the rent costs? Even maybe in the short term move back with parents?

I found myself in your very situation 3 years ago, my boyfriend was in a band ( laugh about it now!!) so only had a part time job in a garden centre, I worked full time but earning very little. To cut a very long story short I went through a very hard time at home and went a little off the rails, moved out and moved into a gorgeous band new build flat in the cetnre of town.

The rent there was nearly £800 monthly and my monthly take home was just £1000, with my ex not earning more than £500 monthly I used to have to pay the rent and he would "try" to cover the bills.

I ended up getting a credit card, putting £300 on it by buying the gas and electric cards in bulk so we always had them ( i though i'd get them all and then pay the credit card bac). Then I paid the concil tax on my credit card (cash advance) and before I knew it I had £7k on the card just supporting him.

We split up because I couldnt afford to be with him... I moved back home... really really struggled to pay off the cards, overdraft and my car loan. But today, 3 years on I only have £1600 left to pay. Its been a very long and emotional slog but you'll get there and its really tough having to cut out the luxuries, but trust me you get used to it!!

We are all on here to support each other so please let us know how you are. Have you joined any of the challenges recently? xx

sparky0107

Hiya shoozles,
Been reading your thread with some interest, you need to take on board what the people on here are advising hun, you need to get him to take some of the burden off your shoulders or you will end up either very ill or very depressed, because you're not getting the kind of support you need, you're working 15 hours a day 7 day's a week, and talking about getting a 2nd job, that's no good for anyone hun and something's going to have to give. Please listen to the good people on here and do yourself some favours, either get him to shoulder some burden, or walk away from it. Sorry if I'm being harsh kid, but there's more to life than working hard and getting no support.

Take care hun, and think of yourself for a change

Rummer

Shoozles

I have just read through your thread and I think you are a very strong woman :A to stick with your business and to face up to your difficult financial situation. The other posters have given you a wealth of sound advice and following it will help your financial situation. Maybe it is time to think about your relationship and where it is going, only you can decide if it is worth continuing with. Taking time out at a friends sounds like a good idea and remember there is plenty of support for you here, whatever you decide .

ajaney

I am another one who has been reading your thread with interest.

I don't want to pass any judgements, all i want to say to you is think about your relationship as if it was a business proposition; make a list of all the things your OH does for you & a list of the things he doesnt do for you. Would you sign on the dotted line for what you are getting at the moment?

If the answer is no, you have to decide if this is a temporary blip or not. Only you can decide.

Take care of you - that is the most important thing, over & above everything else.