Can't sleep..

LilacPixie

Since April 2008 the tax banding is 20% even for the self employed.

GeorgeUK

Just to add, not sure if it's been mentioned. Have you claimed back any bank or credit card charges? Might be worth looking into.

BartGirl

Shoozles

This'll be going slightly 'off track' but i just want to give you abit of advice on yr BF situation.

I was in a v. similar situation with my partner looong before baby etc came along. He was on a tiny wage - and i was on a good fulltime income. I happily paid the rent; council tax; ALL utilities and he was paying diddly squat towards anything really..and i 'allowed' that cos he was only taking home abot £5-600/month anyway. He'd pay for meals out etc but that was not often etc.

A few years down the line and he is clueless where it comes to finances. I still shoulder the majority of the bills because he fritters his money away on designer clothes, his car, various other bits and bobs..

In hindsight..I should have sat him down - at the stage where you are at now - and said 'look at the Gas / water / council tax bill' its £xxx what can you contribute ? (then go for the jugular) ..pipe up with '50% of it sound fine?'..and take it from there...

Just like your BF my partner suffered from 'anxiety' and would go off on one about how expensive life is - how we can never make ends meet - how we'll always be in the debt trap - blah blah blah so i ended up meeting all our outgoings for (a) a quiet life in my part and (b) to 'protect' my partner from having to deal with the anxiety of it all. BIG mistake. At the end of the day. Is he a man or a mouse ?..i direct that to me more than anyone else..

I',m sure you'll sort it all out - just involve him..thats all.

Shoozles

Thank you Bartgirl, I appreciate you sharing that with me. It's difficult to change things like this in a relationship once you are so far down the road isn't it?

Last week when it was suggested I look into bancrupcy I said to him that I thought it unfair that I should be considering bancrupcy when he has not so much as a damaged credit rating and so he said that I resent him for not working for so long. In truth, I do resent it, beacuse it is mainly because of that I am in this mess. When we met I had no debt, so its the relationship, combined with of course, the redundancy.

You're right about sitting down and showing him the bills, just so he has some idea of the amount of money we're talking about. He knows how much the rent is of course, but doesn't seem to understand that there is much more than that, and happily calls his friends on our landline to their mobile, and puts the heating on when he is cold rather than putting on a jumper.

George UK that isn't something I have looked into at all actually. I will look up some details about it, thank you!

irishmist_2

Hi Snozzles
Have been reading through your posts and really feel for you. As the person in our marriage who has led all of the finance stuff (not always successfully!) because DH avoided it like the plague I really do have some sense of where you're coming from. However, it really won't change unless you expect him to take more responsibility, however small. I would be really tempted to cancel sky and tell him that looking at your joint finances it's a luxury you can't afford, but that if he can find a way of making it work, he's welcome to call and start the payments from his account.
Although i do feel like a nag at times (not a comfy feeling, and not how I am in any other area of life), DH is taking more and more interest and even volunteered the idea a few months ago of doing the downshift shopping challenge. Although I wouldn't say we shared all the finance thinking at home, the balance has at least shifted to 70:30, which is so much easier. i am sure that if I had just carried on sorting it out I would be doing it now and well into the future.
Just wanted to say that change is possible.
Also wanted to say your health is so so much more important than money, and to try and focus on looking after yourself a wee bit.
All the very next of luck with the next steps, whatever you decide to do.

Shoozles

Thank you very much irishmist.

Shoozles

Well, it's been an ok day. I've got plenty of work done in the end, just finishing off the last few bits for the night.

I've got a telephone appointment with payplan on thursday.

I've dowloaded an application form to apply for a second job.

A few Ebay listings ended today and a handbag which has been sitting under my bed for ages went for £41!!!

I tried to complete about 6 surveys with Ciao but wasn't eligible for any of them! Still, I got 6 entries into the prize draw lol!

I found a mystery shopping assignment to do, but unfortunately I can't download the details as they crashed my IE! I'll keep checking back for more though and sign up if they are close enough to me. I need to find more mystery shopping sites to sign up to.

I've booked another event for work on saturday, as I had a rare free weekend. Sounds promising.

I was fuming with OH though! As I said, I wasn't going to mention money to him today, but I found the music review site that's mentioned on here, where you can earn a few pennies for reviews, and thought he would like it as he loves music. He said he couldn't see how he would have the time.

He finished work at 4.30 as he does every day and has just done the usual relaxing and watching tv since. He does this all weekend too. He also downloads music tracks to listen to and enjoy, but it seemed the thought of earning extra money put him off. I am quite angry really. This was just after I told him I'd found another job to apply for. I already work 15 hours a day 7 days a week!!

Anyway, apart from that, a generally good day, must keep up all the effort and I will get there eventually!

Thank you everyone for all the help and advice.

Shoozles

And, car is booked in for MOT on Thursday. I went into the garage as it's only down the road and booked it. So Thursday is Payplan day and MOT day! Until then, I need to work hard, try to get some decent sleep(!) and try to get the household bills down!

stebiz

Shoozles wrote: »

I tried to complete about 6 surveys with Ciao but wasn't eligible for any of them! Still, I got 6 entries into the prize draw lol!

I must have tried about 20 surveys with this firm in the past.. Wasn't eligible for any. Don't bother any more. Got one today worth £7 .............. yeah.

Stebiz

Shoozles

stebiz wrote: »

I must have tried about 20 surveys with this firm in the past.. Wasn't eligible for any. Don't bother any more. Got one today worth £7 .............. yeah.

Stebiz

Me too! I wasn't eligible for the £7 survey and then every other one I applied for was worth about 10p or something like that, but not those either!