Can't sleep..

savingholmes

Shoozles - Just popping along to wish you luck. I would make your OH sit down and look at the debts with you and ask him what he is going to do differently to get the debt down. It's time for tough love - you are his partner not his mother and he is your partner not your child and it is time for him to grow up and take some more responsibility.

I like the STD comment, in our house I'm always careful what is in my name and until recently, we had managed to split the debts between our names but he was more successful than me in getting 0% rates even tho I have a clean record - so currently most of the debt is in his name. I am still the most active partner in making sure these get paid off however.

Do post an SOA, I've made loads of savings since posting mine!

Shoozles

Thanks savingholmes. I will do that. I've had a browse through the other threads and seen the wonderful advice people have given. I'm so glad I came here, last night I needed somewhere to write it all down, and it seems like I definitely came to the right place!

Strangest thing though.. My other half's helpful idea this week was to buy a lottery ticket every week. I didn't agree but didn't argue, and he bought a lucky dip on Friday. We got 4 numbers tonight and won 63 pounds!

That will partially pay an urgent debt so won't feed us for the week, but I can't say much to him now!

Sue-UU

Hi Shoozles, good to see you've aired the problems and at least got some of it off your chest, but I think you have a larger problem in having a free-loader living with you who's taking you for granted, knowing that if you can't PAY the bills at least it's only you who is worried about them as he certainly isn't!

Do you really and truly love him Shoozles? If so, why? You sound frightened of him to my mind, am I right? Also, I may be missing something but at the end of your 2nd post (at 3.04) you said you needed the car for you to get to and from work, and to take your OH to work and pick him up ....so is he working or not?

Whatever you do, do NOT drive the car without the MOT, you'll pay dearly again IF you do. Someone else said you should be doing an SOA with your OH with you - and that is right!!! I would suggest you either make him face up to his responsibilities and tell him you both need regular employment or show him the door!! That may sound harsh, but it sounds as though he's being a bit on the lazy side and that's me putting it lightly, I assure you. Him saying you get too stressed means he doesn't care as it's all in your name, be very careful Shoozles and make sure he has no access to any of your cards etc.

Well done with the £63 win, just make sure he doesn't claim it because it was his idea! Good luck and lets see what we can do with you SOA.

Sue

Debt_Free_Chick

Shoozles wrote: »

My parents suggested to me this week that I go bankrupt. But I don't want to lose my business or my professional status, or any other of the downsides of bankrupcy. I also don't see why I should have to go bankrupt when I am mainly in this mess because I supported my boyfriend having a year off work.

Bankruptcy is temporary.

It's a great opportunity to "wipe the slate clean".

Shoozles

Just a quicky again as I'm finishing off dinner. Yes my boyfriend is working, he was out of work for nearly a year but now has a temp job. He does give me the majority of his wages but the problem is there are very little of them!

And I am self employed. So even though I work all hours I don't have a regular income. In that respect you could say that he does alot better than I do! And he has a job interview on Tuesday, which won't pay more but will at least be permanent! Fingers crossed!

Ok, the other thing is, my mum just called me to tell me about Payplan. She's made me promise to call them first thing in the morning as she was speaking to someone today who has a debt management plan with them and she thinks it will be the answer to all my problems.

I've had a quick look, and it does seem a little bit too good to be true.. I will have a browse here when I get the chance to see if anyone has any experiences with them!

The thing I am worried about with this SOA - is HOW do I calculate my income?! If I get a few big orders then the money goes straight into my business account and then I take what I need from it (so that's most of it, the rest goes on business expenses) But those big orders aren't guaranteed every month.. it's such a tough one!

Anyway, tomorrow morning I am going to write down all the expenditure to start with , and call payplan. I want to post my SOA here too for you clever people to look at, so would be great if anyone has any ideas re the income! I'm going to put the money I get from my boyfriend on there too.

Ames

Payplan have a lot of fans on here, so it's good you're thinking of phoning them. I don't know about payplan, but CCCS have a team for self employed people, you might want to give them a ring, they might be more on the ball with regards fluctuating income.

bobbie78

Shoozles wrote: »

The thing I am worried about with this SOA - is HOW do I calculate my income?! If I get a few big orders then the money goes straight into my business account and then I take what I need from it (so that's most of it, the rest goes on business expenses) But those big orders aren't guaranteed every month.. it's such a tough one!

Shoozles I'm in the same situation with income as I get paid sporadicly at times depending on when my invoices get paid. If you just forget the income bit for now though and just work out all your bills monthly and put them into the SOA calculator at least even if you put 0 in for income it will let you see how much you need per month to survive right now. For doing your income can you look over the past 3-6 months and do an average of that? or is your work seasonal so that wouldn't be a proper average.

The SOA is mostly to help see where your money goes each month - a spending diary is very useful too to help you realise where those odd 10quid out the cash machine actually goes.

This isn't about saying no you can't have sky or a mobile but it is looking at your situation and then finding clever ways for you to have the same things and not waste money where you could have a better deal. Eg someone at my work was paying 30 for sky and 20 for internet, when I pay 19 for sky AND internet so same thing but just done smarter so you have more cash for other things.

Does that help at all? For things like car costs eg service / mot (touchy subject I know) but if you can see if you can find old bills from last year and then add them together and divide that amount by 12 so you have a monthly amount to put by for next year that will help a lot when the same thing comes around next year

Shoozles

Here's my SOA..

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 400
Partners monthly income after tax....... 600
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1000

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured loan repayments................. 0
Rent.................................... 700
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 88
Electricity............................. 75
Gas..................................... 92
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 35
Telephone (land line)................... 42
Mobile phone............................ 50
TV Licence.............................. 10
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 75
Internet Services....................... 15
Groceries etc. ......................... 60
Clothing................................ 0
Petrol/diesel........................... 60
Road tax................................ 10
Car Insurance........................... 16
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 50
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 10
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 1388

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 100
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 100

No Secured Debt

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Overdraft......................2500......0.........0
Lloyds Credit Card.............6229.44...160.......0
ASDA Credit Card...............6000......147.......0
Northern Rock Loan.............6000......106.......0
Barclaycard....................6000......118.......0
HSBC...........................2700......65........0
Total unsecured debts..........29429.44..596.......-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,000
Expenses (including secured debts)....... 1,388
Available for debt repayments........... -388
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 596
Surplus(deficit if negative)............ -984

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 100
Total Secured debt...................... -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -29,429.44
Net Assets.............................. -29,329.44

Created using the SOA calculator at www.makesenseofcards.com.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission.

======== Enter any other useful information below ========

My income is an estimate. This month for example I had a £600 sale and put it all towards the rent payment. The turnover for my business is pretty small though, hopefully these big sales will keep coming!

The car maintenance is based on last years cost to pay for the MOT and work that was needed. So you can see why I'm worried about this years.

My SOA is so ridiculous I can't say much else about it!

ETA: The £50 mobile phone costs at the moment are by arrangement with orange to pay my outstanding bill. I'm on incoming calls only until it's paid. I tried to go PAYG but they gave me a new £15 pm contract instead, so hopefully they will stick to this once the £50 pm is paid off..

Debt_Free_Chick

Your utility bills (gas and electric) seem high. Are you paying arrears for these? Have you looked at switching to a lower tarrif?

You cannot afford Sky TV, sorry. If you are out of contract, suggest Freeview.

And you're paying over £100 a month for phone, mobile & internet services. You should try to get a better package for phone & internet.

Groceries should be everything you buy at the supermarket including laundry/cleaning products. Do you really only spend £60 a month?

What profit did your business make last year?

[Deleted User]

As you are renting and are on low wages, have you considered any housing benefit? It may be worth checking out 'entitled to' to see if you are missing out on any benefits.
Your gas/electric is too high, especially if there is just you two in a small place with no children?
£117/month for phone/satellite etc is way too high and is a luxury you need to think carefully about. We have M broadband, XL 24hr calls plus landline and an XL tv package with Virgin for £34.95/month, or £52.95/month with sky sports which is my husbands luxury. This is just to show you that you are wasting money here and could save at least half/two thirds off this bill.
Hopefully you haven't got too long left on your mobile contract because that is also a lot of money. As soon as you get chance change to PAYG and don't be tempted by any 'deals' they offer you - say no!
Do you/partner need the car or could you manage with buses? It would save you some £136 cash each month and no worries about car failing mot! If there are bus routes for work then a car may be another luxury to give up if you can.
£35 water - is this a monthly charge or metered? If there are just 2 of you it may be cheaper to go on a meter, especially if you take showers/wash pots at the end of the day etc.
Am not very good when it comes to advice about CC's etc but definately ring and get some advice today and see what your options are. There is nothing 'bad' about asking for help/bankruptcy etc, whatever makes things bearable for you. Everything works out in the end, good luck, x