Can't sleep..

Shoozles

Thank you so much for your replies, I logged on as soon as I could this morning to see if anyone had replied!

Sky TV is my boyfriend's thing that he tells me he can't live without. I think I'm paying arrears in that at the moment but I might suggest we go without Sky sports for a while.

We considered my boyfriend getting the bus to work, but he would need to take two buses and it would cost alot. But the main thing I need my car for is my work. I travel to shows and events with my car full of things, there is no way I could do that with public transport.

I am going to call Sky and ask about their combined packages thing. Our phone bill was so high last month because my boyfriend's best mate didn't have internet so they couldn't chat over xbox so he called him on his mobile all the time. I asked my boyfriend about the combined packages but he said we would have to have a smaller internet connection, which would be no good for us as he goes online with the xbox and his pc and I'm online too on my laptop. This isn't a luxury as I need the internet for work, I have a web based business and I also travel to shows at the weekend.

I'm in my first year of business so I can't give a profit for last year. Last year I was employed but I had a breakdown because of all the stress of supporting two of us plus commute and working three jobs, so it all went out the window earlier this year and I went self employed.

I know it probably looks as though I should seek employment again, but my business is doing well now, and I don't want to give up everything I have worked for.

Right, I need to call payplan this morning, book my car in for an MOT and try to make some savings in the monthly outgoings. And hopefully fit some work in around all this too!

reetyre

Hi Shoozles,

I hope I am not sounding too harsh here but to me it seems that your BF is living on another planet and also extremely selfish! If he "needs" to chat on his Xbox or whatever then he definitely NEEDS to pay his way which he is in no way doing at the moment! He has to be committed to losing this debt as much as you do otherwise you will be constantly paddling upstream. I have heard a lot of people say they cant live without sky but frankly will he actually drop dead if it wasnt there? (the answer is no by the way). Any small savings he can make can go towards getting you out of trouble and if he loves you and sees what this is doing to you then he should have been the one to come on here and ask for help and he should be starting to make inroads towards sorting this mess out.

I am sorry if I sound harsh or am out of line but seems to me this guy has an easy ride - working a low paid job, having everything done for him -and the debt isnt in his name after all so he really could just walk away. Its not right and not fair - you are his girlfriend not his mum, he needs to man up and help the woman he loves to sort out a mess that is partly his making.

Sorry if this is a rant and not very constructive but (if I have read it right) this guy is the type to make my blood boil. Get him off the xbox, off the sofa & spend his time looking for a better paid job.

Reety xx

Debt_Free_Chick

Shoozles wrote: »

Thank you so much for your replies, I logged on as soon as I could this morning to see if anyone had replied!

Sky TV is my boyfriend's thing that he tells me he can't live without. I think I'm paying arrears in that at the moment but I might suggest we go without Sky sports for a while.

You need to show him the SOA - your income cannot support payment of Sky, especially as it's higher than your grocery budget. Does he want to starve whilst watching TV?

We considered my boyfriend getting the bus to work, but he would need to take two buses and it would cost alot. But the main thing I need my car for is my work. I travel to shows and events with my car full of things, there is no way I could do that with public transport.

If you don't already do so, you need to keep track of your business mileage so you can claim a tax deduction for it, against your business profits. A simple table in Word or a spreadsheet with the date, place where you start the journey, place where it ends and the total mileage travelled. I assume you will claim a mileage allowance as you are effectively using your own car for business purposes.

I am going to call Sky and ask about their combined packages thing. Our phone bill was so high last month because my boyfriend's best mate didn't have internet so they couldn't chat over xbox so he called him on his mobile all the time. I asked my boyfriend about the combined packages but he said we would have to have a smaller internet connection, which would be no good for us as he goes online with the xbox and his pc and I'm online too on my laptop. This isn't a luxury as I need the internet for work, I have a web based business and I also travel to shows at the weekend.

Smaller internet connection? Others here will comment, but I can't see that a combined package would lead to a "smaller" internet connection. He needs to wake up and understand that you can only have what you can afford.

I'm in my first year of business so I can't give a profit for last year. Last year I was employed but I had a breakdown because of all the stress of supporting two of us plus commute and working three jobs, so it all went out the window earlier this year and I went self employed.

I know it probably looks as though I should seek employment again, but my business is doing well now, and I don't want to give up everything I have worked for.

Just to play Devil's Advocate, having been self-employed myself ... how do you know your business is doing well? Do you know the profit for year to date and your projected profit for the full year? Do you know that the business will generate sufficient profit to give you "a real salary"? Are you simply looking at turnover rather than profit? Some things for you to think about ....

Right, I need to call payplan this morning, book my car in for an MOT and try to make some savings in the monthly outgoings. And hopefully fit some work in around all this too!

Call Payplan but I see to recall they can only help if you have at least £1 to put towards your debts. Looking at your SOA, you don't have enough income to live, let alone pay your debts.

You need a minimum income of £1400 per month simply to live ....... you and your boyf need to understand this and look to generate that level of income, month in, month out. I know it's difficult when you're self-employed but it means that in the good months, you need to put money by to help you through the bad months.

Finally ..... I assume you expect to generate a profit and that you are putting money aside to pay your tax bill? :rolleyes:

Shoozles

Thanks Reety, yes I do see your point, of course I do, and there have been many times that I've got angry with him as he spends his evenings relaxing and playing games while I work. He is alot better than he used to be, he goes to work now! And he does have a job interview tomorrow too which will hopefully up our monthly income if it is only by a small amount.

But when I was working full time (in employment, I work more than full time now!) I didn't relax in the evenings, I looked for more work to do. I guess it's a different mindset, he admits he is lazy, and if he doesn't get the phone calls and the bills adressed to him, the direct debits coming out of his account and all that jazz, then it's not at the front of his mind. He keeps telling me there is nothing that can be done about it so there is no point worrying about it.

Anyway, I'm hoping to challenge that! I called Sky about their combined plan but gave up because I was on hold for ages, same with payplan but I left a message so I hope they will call me back soon!

ZoeGirl_3

reetyre wrote: »

I hope I am not sounding too harsh here but to me it seems that your BF is living on another planet and also extremely selfish! If he "needs" to chat on his Xbox or whatever then he definitely NEEDS to pay his way which he is in no way doing at the moment!

I would have to agree, I unfortunately had an "Sexually Transmitted Debt" for a while there :eek:

The guy was just not interested at all, and everytime I bought it up I was obsessed with MONEY lol :mad:

Well, sometimes something just has to give, if you can't sit him down, tell him how worried you are and get him to work WITH you and support you, then I don't know how much longer you can carry him without completely stressing yourself out.

Good on you for being on here and getting an SOA done and trying to look at how you can help yourself :T :T :T :T :T :T :T :T :T :T :T :T :T

Shoozles

Debt Free Chick, we posted at the same time there. Thank you for your reply.

Yes, when I say my business is doing well I'm talking about turnover. I don't do the accounts myself.

I do keep details of my business mileage yes. All my mileage apart from taking my boyfriend to work is business mileage.

Yes, I know what you mean about the debt management plan, about having money to put towards the debts. I'm hoping if I can get the monthly outgoings down, and the income up by working hard then I will have a small amount availlable to pay debts.

I did apply for a part time job a while ago, in retail. They offered me a full time job which I turned down. Probably the wrong thing to do, but the coming season should be really good for me. Then in January when things are likely to quieten down I'll look for an extra job - anything to get the income in!

And no, I'm not putting money aside for tax, as I'm sure you already know by the emoticon you used! Every time my business bank account gets some money in it I have to clear it out for something!

Shoozles

Thank you Zoegirl :-)
Well he might get a shock if I cancel Sky.. I'm considering it.. need to get through first though!

Debt_Free_Chick

Whilst I don't post nice, soft supportive comments, I hope you know that I'm not unsympathetic. I just try to "tell it how it is" as plainly as possible as I don't see any point in giving anyone false hope. Your situation is pretty desperate and you're going to have to make drastic changes. Cancelling Sky is a tiny, tiny step - it will help, but it won't solve your problems.

So ....

Shoozles wrote: »

Debt Free Chick, we posted at the same time there. Thank you for your reply.

Yes, when I say my business is doing well I'm talking about turnover. I don't do the accounts myself.

Your turnover has to cover ALL the costs of running the business ..... buying stock; mileage/fuel; ISP costs; accountant's costs; postage/delivery; advertising etc etc etc .... What's left over is profit and the profit is used firstly to pay the tax on that profit, with the remainder paid to you as "salary".

You can hopefully see that you simply MUST know how the business is doing and how much profit it's generating. If you don't, how do you know how much to take out as salary?

You should have a way of keeping track of your turnover AND your expenses, every month, so you can estimate you profit. Otherwise, you are probably spending money that is not "salary".

I do keep details of my business mileage yes. All my mileage apart from taking my boyfriend to work is business mileage.

Well, there's a start But you need to track other business expenses, too.

Yes, I know what you mean about the debt management plan, about having money to put towards the debts. I'm hoping if I can get the monthly outgoings down, and the income up by working hard then I will have a small amount availlable to pay debts.

You need to generate additional income of around £400 per month - even if you cut out Sky, as I don't think your grocery budget is anywhere near sufficient.

And no, I'm not putting money aside for tax, as I'm sure you already know by the emoticon you used! Every time my business bank account gets some money in it I have to clear it out for something!

I understand - really I do. But you must realise that if you fail to put money by to pay your tax, then you're building up more debt :eek:

I really think that you need to take a tiny step backwards and establish what the business is going to pay you. Then you can plug that income into your SOA.

GeorgeUK

Hi Shozzles

I'm afraid you won't get anything sorted until you get BF onboard with you. If he needs the faster internet connection - why does he not put it in his name and pay for it? Does he actually know how bad things are financially for you? You may need to go through the finances together incase he has debts that you are not aware of and need to consider.

Payplan and CCCS are 2 of the main free debt charities we recommend to people. CCCS have an online "debt remedy" questionnaire which may give you a brief guide as to the best option for you. It's always better to speak to an advisor though. Hope you can get some answers and ideas on what to do next.

Rent.................................... 700
Would it be possible to rent somewhere cheaper?

Council tax............................. 88
If paying over 10 months can you ask to pay it over 12? (from January)

Electricity............................. 75
Gas..................................... 92
These are quite high - look at the comparison site for a better deal (uswitch, moneysupermarket)

Mobile phone............................ 50
PAYG?

Telephone (land line)................... 42
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 75
Internet Services....................... 15
If you can't get a package deal, you need to reduce the cost of sky.

Groceries etc. ......................... 60
Is this per week or per month?

Your boyfriend seems to be relying on you to take care of all this. That's not fair - and i don't think you are stressing too much over this - he isn't stressing enough!! You need to have a sit down and go over all the finances. Maybe if he can see it in black and white he'll take more notice.

Are you entitled to any benefits or small business grants?

stebiz

Shoozles wrote: »

Yes, when I say my business is doing well I'm talking about turnover.

Do you ever watch Dragons Den? One of Duncan Valentines favourite phrases is something like 'I'm not interested in Turnover, anbody can do that, it is the bottom line that counts'. I don't want this to sound harsh on you because by the sounds of it you are having a bad time ta the moment. If it is only a small one woman company, why not do your own accounts? You can keep them upto date each month. This way you know how well you are doing. Sad thing with annual accounting is that they are always out of date..............do your own monthly accounts. Save some cash and keep your accounts upto date. I'm self employed and that is what I do.

I really wish you all the best.

Stebiz