DFW Weekend Pyjama party

Burlesque_Babe

sounds like you're sorted then

Bunnyinthelights

I don't think they deliver to Bromsgrove Sammy, they are just a small place in WEllington, lol!

Bunnyinthelights

lol, as sorted as i'll ever be...




(and just starting to stress about the state of my house for the 17th-it needs so much doing to it! eek!)

immoral_angeluk

Ouch bun.. about poor ds and the job! Fingers cross the administrator can rescue it...
Back from bank practice. Probably won't be online tonight but wishing everyone a nice rest of the weekend.

Bunnyinthelights

I know Sar-I think I'm going to get him one of the bubble wrap suits!

immoral_angeluk

Bunnyinthelights wrote: »

I know Sar-I think I'm going to get him one of the bubble wrap suits!

or just one big bubble.

Buffythedebtslayer

right ladies ( and any guys that might be lurking)
I need some advice.

I really don't like my sister's BF and by association my sister most of the time.

generally I kept it quiet,my other Sister know's (and agrees with me) but its difficult now - I live with Mum and my middle sis is her favourite pretty much - she comes round fairly frequently and I have to play nice.

I wanted to do the garden this summer but the constant rain pretty much put a stop to that,

anyhow it sounds really stupid but because they don't work they could have done the garden at any point in the last five years....but didn't the minute I lose patience and start it myself, they pretty much wait until I go back to work and charge in and take over. now I've got mum going on about how wonderful they are. and of course that !!!!es me off no end. (and yes I know it shouldn't matter but it does, they take MONTHS to do anything and yet Mum goes on about them like they are amazing - I have to say i have said I don't want to hear it and this week she has not said much but it obviously upsets her)

I won't explain every tiny thing that has happened but it is enough to say i resent them massively for how they treat Mum and how patronising they are and how utterly FURIOUS it makes me.

The thing that worries both my (other) sister and I is his treatment of her, she never sees her friends, rarely leaves the house without him unless he goes out - he doesnt appear to have friends either and has no family,he controls the money and she can't drive so can't do anything without him.

She is very jumpy and nervous and I noticed, I hate saying this. she never wears anything but long sleeve tops and trousers. no skirts, no t shirts, everything is all covered up.

I am very worried that in me resenting her I have missed something major. When my older sis came over for a visit she thought immediately she was in a abusive relationship. I mean she has to ask his permission to do everytihng. Mum wanted to go to the cinema, at first sis siad yes, then suddenly no - that is just one example of how there are no changes in her routine EVER.

trouble the whole situation is so difficult. I feel dreadful for upsetting Mum, who just shuts down, but I can't keep on being made to feel bad.

any suggestions.

xxx

ps sorry to just burst in on the thread like this. I just want another opinion.

Burlesque_Babe

oh, dear, that is a difficult situation Buffy. It does sound like she's in a very controlling relationship and if you asked her about it she would probably deny it (either because she is scared or because she doesn't believe that she is).

How about starting with something really small, like inviting her over for a coffee - when you know she will be alone and he can't say 'I'll come over as well'. Do it on the day (perhaps) so she can't back out because he has said 'no' to her doing it.

Bunnyinthelights

Well, I would have to say something-consider the alternative?
What if she is hoping that someone will notice and help her to leave? (I know most women in abusive relationships won't leave until they find the strength themselves, but at least she'll know you are supporting her)

As for the resentment issue-I do know how you feel and wish I had an answer...

daphne_descends

Oh buffy that is so difficult - whatever you do you can end up looking like the bad guy I think you should just make it very clear to your sis that you are there for her, if she wants to confide in you, let her know she can tell you anything, and if she needs you, you'll be there - like bunny says usually women only leave these situations when they really have had enough (I know this from a past experience too, oh the number of times I packed my things ) but knowing she has your full support will be invaluable when she needs you.