DFW Weekend Pyjama party

Buffythedebtslayer

I have tried to get her alone, before my older sister suggested it seriously (I just thought it was because I didn't like him) I did want to try to get to her a bit better, but she wouldn't ever agree to anything.

I also tried getting her to do hobby related things - days out but he always comes (so now i don't go). she has such a set routine. rings Mum at the same time each day, has to get home at the same time.

And part of me thinks she wouldn't admit to it any way. everything is always rosy with her.

plus which we really don't have the best relationship. I simply dont understand her. how can you give up your job your idependance? freedom? but then I guess I am coming at from a different perspective ( older sister's hubby was a scumbag and she escaped by the skin of her teeth with no help from anyone)

I know they will be round more with the garden and then Christmas. I just don't know how long I will be able to keep my mouth shut and then i will say the wrong thing - if she is in trouble it could makes tihngs worse and if she isn't Mum will KILL me as sis would be horrified and all upset - worse thing in the world obviously....

plus the fact that as the youngest I am the idiot of the family, so no one would listen- "you silly girl" etc.

thanks please keep opinions coming

xx

Bunnyinthelights

Buffy,
I really don't know what to say hun-it seems such a truly sad situation doesn't it?
Could you pop round one day when he is at work?
And I would maybe risk saying something to your Mom-maybe she is worrying as well and someone else having similar feelings *might* spur everyone into action? I know that as a mother, if anyone voiced opinions about the safety and welfare of my children, but heck, I would listen!

Bunnyinthelights

and DD...

((((((hugs)))))))

Buffythedebtslayer

that's the main problem, neither of them work, they literally do everything together and have a very very very set routine.

they are never apart, maybe four hours on a sat but that she spends with Mum and she never wants to go out or even watch a DVD without him. its awful, part of me is oh crap what if she is in trouble and the other part of me is get a life you silly cow. which sounds so mean but i can't help it.

And Mum has enough to deal with really (other worries about other sis) without me and my unfounded ideas - she knows that I am pretty close to hating them and she would just think I was saying it to be mean and over dramatic - I may well be in 30's but to Mum I am still the moody fourteen year old who hates her sister.

thank you tho, my sis and I have gone round in circles trying to work out what to say or if to say it. and today with the bloody garden it just made me mad and scared.

xxx

Bunnyinthelights

Ok, just being nosey now-why don't they work?

LouiseJ

Hmmmm Buffy, we have a similar situation with OH sister, she lives away and is "wonderful" when she comes to visit and and takes MIL to bingo and out shopping........she has the time, she is on bloomin holiday when she visits:rolleyes: .us on the other hand do all the unglamorous tasks like doctors and hospital appointments and regular visits, we still get criticised for not doing "enough".....cant win so dont try:cool:

Unfortunately in the case of your sister and your worries I think you may have to wait until she comes to one of you for advice unless you have some sound evidence I really wouldnt accuse her OH of harming her. What an impossible situation for you pet xx

Buffythedebtslayer

He is loaded. enough that my sister "retired" at the age of 36(now 42). he is a lot older but she won't tell us how old...... reckon maybe 60?

Louise tell me about it - me painting the hall, cleaning out shed, fixing the roof in the storm, being here when things go wrong with the house. being here generally.

they get to go to nurseries, days out, sunday dinner etc. and dabble in the garden. come round for 5 hours during the week, constantly leave mum alone for days if I dare go away (which I don't any more) and then of course its my fault she is lonely etc.

I of course never actually do anything useful, although things between mum and me are good, it has come about because I let things go a lot.

ahhh families. can't live with em. can't run away to New Zealand and start a new life under an assumed name.

some one say something funny. I need cheering up!

xxx

Bunnyinthelights

Two guys walk into a bar...


















































OUCH!!!!

ZTD

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

that's the main problem, neither of them work, they literally do everything together and have a very very very set routine.

they are never apart, maybe four hours on a sat but that she spends with Mum

Then that's the time you can act.

Try rolling her sleeves up - its an innocuous act, and I'm sure you can find some excuse. Not to see what's there - most likely nothing - but to see how she reacts.

You don't need to solve her problem (if there is one) immediately. But you can plant a seed of hope.

skint_spice

why are pirates pirates?







they just aaaaarrrr!:D