Workplace harassment - should I leave

pinkshoes

So when someone makes a gay joke/remark, how do you react? What do you do?

It's very strange that they should keep this up for two years. I know a guy who shaves his legs, and that p*ss taking lasted a whole week before everyone got tired of it... 2 years is a really long time!

I work with a guy who is as racist as they get, and hates and sl*gs off anyone who isn't English. When he found out my OH isn't English, he spent a good two weeks ripping the p*ss and making shocking remarks (sackable comments!). I just laugh and ignore him, and eventually he realised that I'm not going to react to his verbal cr*p. I actually pity the guy for being so narrow minded. He still tries to wind me up, but I just don't react.

sarah1980

pinkshoes wrote: »

I work with a guy who is as racist as they get, and hates and sl*gs off anyone who isn't English.

I am English and Asian Wonder what he'd think of me....?

pinkshoes

sarah1980 wrote: »

I am English and Asian Wonder what he'd think of me....?

:eek: you forgot to add "and a girl"!!!! You would need some very thick skin! When he started taking the p*ss about my taste in men, you should have heard him when he discovered that my ex was Asian... :rotfl: I just replied that nearly all the English guys I'd dated turned out to be ar*eholes, and that he certainly hadn't done anything to improve my opinion!

My OH just laughed too. He's also of the opinion that the only opinions that matter are those of people you care about.

Nile

Hello mr pharmacist

Having read the posts in this thread, I hope I can offer some help and support.

I understand how distressing your situation must be. I won't claim to 'know how you feel' because we all cope with stressful situations differently. I have suffered bullying in the workplace so I can empathise with you.

You may feel brighter and more positive if you can take back some control. I strongly recommend that you read everything you can about bullying.

For example, click on link below...............the Trades Union Congress:

Workplace bullying

Another link:

The Andrea Adams Trust

You could always see the Employment Law expert in your local Citizens Advice Bureau too.;)

I hope you get the help you need and your workplace bullying situation is resolved quickly.

Kind Regards

Nile

SomeBozo

Hello Mr Pharmacist.

First of all, welcome back to the thread. I won't kid you but I really did think that was the last we saw of you. Kudos for coming back.

I would like to address certain parts of your post (if not all) and address some issues.

Please don't post an abusive reply, I am trying to help. I am on your side.

Some of my replies may seem harsh, but please bare with me, I am going somewhere.

here nor the known behaviour of other posters

Ignore it all. Each poster here acts differently on each thread.

I also had discussed it elsewhere on the net without my version being questioned

With respect, if you want a load of people "not being questioned" then I suggest you stay there. If you want people to prod you, nudge you, challenge you, all with a view to helping you, MSE is the right place!

In fact in my previous job I had to take time off sick and was even receiving silent phone calls to my flat from one of the perpetrators

Ok thats crap. No excuse. No one deserves that.

But you know what I would have done? (After reporting it). I would have left the phone right there and did something else. Silent callers only call back because they know you will sit there and be scared. "Hello?" "Hello??!?!!", "who is this?!??" "Stop this?!!?!" "Please stop this?!?!?!" Thats what they want. Remove this and kind of reaction and they will stop.

because I didn't follow through with my harassment claim which I regret

Forget it. Whats done is done. Learn the lessons but don't dwell on it. If we all sat there regretting things, the world would be a dull place. Let the baby have its bottle.

To be honest the gossip started fairly early in my new job, around two years ago,

2 years is a long time. When do we move on? When does 2 years of something stop becoming a issue for you?

I don't know who to tell HR about because as mentioned there have been so many at it. Obviously the woman I talk about is the worst for it but to leave out others doesn't seem right. I need to talk to my union rep but it's fairly embrassing and I'm sure he knows about it already

Get over the embarrasment. Get over who "the best person is". Just do it. Let them worry about who talk to and to deal with it. Whats they they are there for.

As I say I have no friends or particular allies in the place

Well screw em. You have freinds here. Look at the page. 3 pages of freinds trying to help you. We all can take the slack until you make some "in real life freinds".

Reading this you probably wonder why I even consider going back but I don't see why I should be forced out of a job

I agree. But, and heres the rub. Youve tried one approach for 2 years. Now its time for another. "Water off a ducks back" approach is needed.

make sucking noises when they pass me which obviously is upsetting

Next time. Dont rise to it. Turn around and make it back.

When they ask !!!!!! you are doing, say SomeBozo on the internet told you to do it. Wink and move on. Keep doing it, see how long it lasts.

Give them the url of this thread if you want to. I'll keep them company here.

Bozo

ALI1973

((((((BIGHUG))))))

Im really sorry you are having to put up with this !!!! from "adults", but I think this kind of thing is getting more and more prevalent in all workplaces, especially ones which are sales driven and therefore under lots of pressure, that said it is just NOT ACCEPTABLE!

There is a book which you may find really helpful, Bully InSight by Tim Field. My husband is going thru a victimisation issue at work and has found this book particularly helpful. If you have kept a diary then photo copy a couple of pages to show to your HR officer (get someone as senior as you can to deal with you). If you havent kept a diary, then try and write down as many incidents as you can and note the people who were there/involved.
Also, do u have any counselling on offer? if so please take it, they can really help you build your self esteem so you can decide the best way forward for u.

No one should have to work in that kind of enviroment, and if you can also prove that despite all u have out up with u have performed to target even better. I understand that ignoring the issue for u has probably not made it go away, certainly hasnt for my DH, but it is very hard to see what motivates these small minded bigots into making someone elses life a misery, and u are probably still feeling very hurt and disorientated by what is happening to u, but it is NOT your fault.

I wish you peace and happiness. Take Care of U XX
Ali

littleknownme

I was seriously harassed and ended up taking ill health retirement. In my experience harassment and bullying is not dealt with empathetically in the workplace. Had my private life not been as stressful at the time I would have been able to deal with it but such is life. Where I am now is not the answer. You need support and I doubt you will get it at work in fact it is very likely that this will exacerbate the situation. Can you get counseling through your GP or privately. You need the tools to deal with this or it will continue. That is not to say you are to blame I believe that you are telling the truth but bullies know their prey well. Good luck.

littleknownme

I am interested in anyone that works or has worked for their local council and has suffered because of bullying. Having suffered myself and met others that have gone through this predicament I am interested to know how their cases were resolved by management and their Unions. Thankyou for any response.