Workplace harassment - should I leave

mr_pharmacist

Hi I'm in the middle of sick leave from work due to stress caused by workmates picking on me and gossiping. I work in sales and have had serious problems with a person in my team, as well as others who have more or less ostracised me.

The problem arose from difficulties I had in my last job where wrongful and damaging gossip spread about me and I was getting seriously harassed for it. It wasn't dealt with there and worse when I moved jobs someone somehow told someone at my new work about it, meaning I had to deal with gossip in a new setting. Although this was a while ago it has never really gone away and clouded people's perception of me.

As mentioned it is an issue with one employee in particular but others have been nasty and unhelpful and when I showed signs of stress as things came to a head recently took great pleasure in helping to escalate the problem through taking the mick. So really I'm in a situation where I could pick out five or more people for harassment.

I'm off for a few days. I've informed my manager (who I'm sure is far more aware than is letting on) and informally discussed it with HR without going further. I've also been onto my union but not gone directly to the rep yet. The problem is I have no real allies in the workplace as I haven't been there that long -under 2 years - and most of the other workers are women, therefore I'm not sure who I could rely on to back me up.

Anyone got good advice? My work isn't great but I don't really fancy starting a new job in this uncertain climate.

Thanks

DCFC79

Why is it people harrass theyre fellow colleagues,

Bunnie1982

Have you kept a diary of these incidents?

Perhaps speak to ACAS/Citizens Advice as well who can advice the best course of action. I know you have raised it with HR but have you placed a formal grievance? Would you be prepared to follow this procedure?

Would you be able to elaborate more on the harassment? Please don't feel that you have to, just trying to gain an outlook at the bigger picture.

Unfortunately incidents like this happen more and more frequently, I left my last job due to bullying by my manager so I understand what you are going through.

CFC

You need to ask for copies of the grievance procedure, and bullying and harassment policy. Your first port of call is then to raise a grievance informally. If this does not resolve it you raise a formal grievance.

Read the policies through and take it from there. You do not need allies in the workplace, the law is on your side and all employers will take this seriously, even if they privately think it's a nuisance to deal with.

Conor_3

My advice is to take a long honest look at yourself. The common factor in all of this is you. I find it extremely unlikely someone from your old job who was allegedly bullying you told someone at your new job. It holds next to no credibility.

Maybe it's not bullying at all but merely the normal banter that goes on at work and for whatever reason, either you don't recognise it as that or you can't deal with it.

At every workplace people take the mick out of others. At every workplace colleagues gossip about other colleagues. In the industry I work in, if you make a mistake, people clap and cheer and rib you about it for days but you do the same to them. There's no malice in it, it's people having a bit of fun and breaking the monotony.

SomeBozo

Sorry, I echo Conors comments to a extent.

Can we have some examples of the "gossip". Gossip happens everywhere, school, work the pub. It will never be stopped so its how we deal with it. Unless you are a one man band, you will always have colleagues and hence gossip.

Bozo

pinkshoes

I also partially echo what Conor said.

Rumours, gossip, and banter are common in the work place, and are not necessarily bullying, and depending on the reaction, usually just fade out.

Perhaps the fact that you got so upset about it rather than laughing it off made them think there was some substance behind the gossip, and hence they continued rather than getting bored and moving onto the next piece of gossip.

I've heard so much gossip about myself in my last company it was hilarious! If I was seen talking to any particular male twice in one day, then that obviously meant I was sleeping with him...

You are never going to find a gossip/banter free environment, so the common factor here seems to be your reaction to it, given it has happened twice. I would suggest you perhaps address this reaction, and perhaps learn to react differently i.e. don't react!

If you don't react, they'll get bored VERY quickly and stop.

mr_pharmacist

Conor wrote: »

My advice is to take a long honest look at yourself. The common factor in all of this is you. I find it extremely unlikely someone from your old job who was allegedly bullying you told someone at your new job. It holds next to no credibility.

Maybe it's not bullying at all but merely the normal banter that goes on at work and for whatever reason, either you don't recognise it as that or you can't deal with it.

At every workplace people take the mick out of others. At every workplace colleagues gossip about other colleagues. In the industry I work in, if you make a mistake, people clap and cheer and rib you about it for days but you do the same to them. There's no malice in it, it's people having a bit of fun and breaking the monotony.

What an utterly useless response. How would you like to be in a situation were people you work with are making insinuations about your sexuality and your family based on lies, then you have to deal with it again in the next workplace and yes it is the same accusations which have found their way there as I have been met with the same remarks I got before although that 'holds next to no credibility' with you. The people making stupid and hurtful comments all the time to disrupt my work, clearly it's all my fault as you say despite me being an excellent worker.

What I have described above goes against at least three major elements of the company's anti-bullying guidleines so I feel my case is pretty strong. There is a line between gossip and harassment and this one crosses it by miles.

VIVA-BOOTS

mr pharmacist I can be of no help to you but just wanted to send you a cyber hug



I hope it works out for you.

selena12

If your present job is good than just ignore the gossip. If you are not satisfied with the job than look forward for another one then think about leaving.

pinkshoes

mr_pharmacist wrote: »

What an utterly useless response. How would you like to be in a situation were people you work with are making insinuations about your sexuality and your family based on lies, then you have to deal with it again in the next workplace and yes it is the same accusations which have found their way there as I have been met with the same remarks I got before although that 'holds next to no credibility' with you. The people making stupid and hurtful comments all the time to disrupt my work, clearly it's all my fault as you say despite me being an excellent worker.

What I have described above goes against at least three major elements of the company's anti-bullying guidleines so I feel my case is pretty strong. There is a line between gossip and harassment and this one crosses it by miles.

Given your above reaction, I see why perhaps this has now happened twice...

Regardless of what horrible remarks people make, don't rise to it by reacting. Just laugh and ignore them. Who cares what other people think and/or say?? Surely the only opinion that matters is your own and that of people who you care about?

Seriously, just ignore them, they'll get bored, and move onto someone else. You're going to find people like this wherever you go, and they only ever "Pick on" people who react and get upset.

As I said, I work in a male dominated environment, and every now and then I'm the target of many rumours; sleeping with male colleagues (whoever I'm seen talking to), lesbian rumours (do I like camel toe etc...!!!). They're just rumours, and not true, so I just laugh and don't think twice about it. 24 hours later they've moved onto a rumour about someone else!