MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Should you continue to send birthday presents?

Billie-S

Some people may not give gifts because they 'can't afford it,' but in my experience this is rare.

I have a cousin (I have moved towns now so hardly see her now,) and she has 6 children and 5 grandchildren. I have 2 daughters. I regularly bought every child a present for Christmas and each one of the 11 birthdays. I never ever once got one back for my two.

After a number of years of buying for her kids, and never ever getting anything for my kids, I actually asked a person who is close to her mother (my aunt) who was a friend of mine at the time, if she knew any reason why my cousin never bought anything. She said 'she is flat busted broke. Can hardly afford to buy her own kids.' So I just said 'oh OK,'

Then I found she got 2 of her kids a PS3 each, and several video games, and had also paid for two 10 week 'dance courses' for 2 of her other kids, which cost about £200 each. In addition, she got her eldest child a £300 phone. She also smokes (15-20 a day,) has over 20 pets (including snakes, lizards, rats, dogs, cats, mice, rabbits, guinea pigs.) Yet she somehow couldn't stump up a couple of quid for gifts my 2 girls.

Not being funny, but after the PS3s, the expensive phone, and the two £200 payments incidents, I immediately decided to stop buying anything. Not even cards, because she never got us any. She did actually mention several times to my friend that she was puzzled that I had stopped buying presents. (Really???) She never said anything to me though. This was two years ago, and as I said, I live 40 miles from her now, and rarely see her.

It may seem a tad harsh to suddenly stop buying for all the kids after always buying, but then it was MORE than a tad harsh to never ever get anything my two - EVER.
I don't believe that anybody can't afford a small gift for a child. Even if it's a two pound selection box. In my opinion, the ones who claim they 'can't afford it' happily squander money on fags, booze, scratchcards and expensive stuff for their own kids. It's fine if they want to spend their money on stuff for themselves and their own kids, but don't make out you're not buying my child something, because you 'can't afford it.'

To me, if someone doesn't buy anything, it's because they don't want to, as on every occasion where someone has not bought back, because they 'can't afford it,' they seem to be able to find to find money when they want to.

And they shouldn't be accepting anything if they have no intention of giving anything back.

That's my opinion.