Help Husband left SOA advice needed

Edinburghlass_2

Don't worry about it, it will get shifted for you in the morning.

Glad

Hi, Martin’s asked me to post this in these circumstances: I’ve asked Board Guides to move threads if they’ll receive a better response elsewhere (please see this rule) so this post/thread has been moved to another board, where it should get more replies. If you have any questions about this policy please email [EMAIL="abuse@moneysavingexpert.com"]!!!!!![/EMAIL]

nearlyrich

Hi Julie

I have merged the threads so it's all here in one place...

I have to get ready for work right now but if it's any consolation I ssplit with my first husband 2 months before our DD was born due to his affair.

Now almost 22 years later I know it was for the best and I have managed to have a great life so far, I got into debt paying for nappies etc, ex didn't agree with paying for the upkeep of his family and I did it more or less alone.

You will be fine you are worth more than to be treated like this by your ex I will come back to this thread later. x x

saffronflowers

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 2200
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 202
Other income............................ 320
Total monthly income.................... 2722

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 1547
Secured loan repayments................. 219
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 78 Check on single person discount
Electricity............................. 60
Gas..................................... 60
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 25
Telephone (land line)................... 25
Mobile phone............................ 15
TV Licence.............................. 11
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 45 Seems very low
Clothing................................ 0
Petrol/diesel........................... 20
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 0
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 475Check out working tax credits for help with this
Other child related expenses............ 70
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 27
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 14
Contents insurance...................... 14
Life assurance ......................... 46Check if this is the best
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 28Swop this for birthdays etc
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 33 Swop this for emergency fund
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 2812

Sorry to hear of your troubles and I hope my small contribution may be of some help

SFx

LoulaBelle

Hi Julie,

What s#!tty timing!!!! I'm 36 weeks pregnant and have a son who has just turned 3 - don't know why but I thought I'd share that with you.

Okay first things first have you told the council that you are now living on your own - you will get 25% off your council tax as a single person - also ask them if they can spread the payment over 12 months instead of the usual 10 - that should save you something.

Also your gas and electric look pretty high - have you shopped yet?

Also your life assurance looks pretty high - shop around for that too.

Haircuts - can you not go to a student evening - they are always advertising for 'models required' - I'm told that these are pretty good.

Holiday - for now cut that back (have you something booked or are you just saving for a holiday?)

The husband - tell him that you are going to need some money soon because you don't want the mortgage and direct debits bouncing.

I'm sure others will be along with more wise words - but for me for now thats what I can suggest - oh and welcome to the board!

All the best LoulaBelle

kj*daisy

You mentioned on an earlier post that 500 would be nearly half your husbands wage. So if he earns 1000 - under CSA that would mean he's have to pay you 20% his take home pay - £200 a month. Reduced a bit if he has the children a certain number of nights. What he can afford is fairly irrelevant as that what he's expected to pay by CSA.

Is your child care going to go up at all when you go back to work?

Your mortgage is massive - but I think you said you live in SE so probably not a huge house but in the long term is there anyway you could downsize at all? If you are unlikley to get help from your husband without it being a struggle, then your current level of spending will be hard to maintain, and you have really only put the basics in the SOA. And your food bill seems very low for 3 people.

You do have the assets you could sell if things got really tight. But just wanted to say that your husbands timing is lousy and I wish you all the best for the next few months ahead.
Take care

tigerfeet2006

Check out Martin's articles in the tabs at the top of the page for utilities and insurance. When you have sorted out the lowest then check out https://www.quidco.co.uk and topcashback.co.uk and see if you can get cash back by signing up through them.

Also sign up to https://www.freecycle.co.uk Like Ebay but if you are selected for the items then you pick them up for free. Usually lots of baby stuff on there. I've not bought a new fridge/freezer/tumble dryer/washing machine/micro in years As things break down I look on here and replace them

GeorgeUK

Hi Jules

Glad to see you're doing better than when you first joined and hope OH is starting to behave himself with DS. Don't feel that you need to give him any time or space to sort himself out - he caused this mess and just because he's screwed up doesn't mean you or DS should pay a financial price for that along with the emotional one.

Mortgage................................ 1547
Is this in your name or joint? Don't go paying his share of a debt while you are both responsible for it.

Council tax............................. 78
Are you getting benefits (don't know if there's something for single mothers/pregnant) or single person discount? If paying over 10 months, you could ask to pay over 12 (in January)

Electricity............................. 60
Gas..................................... 60
Have you checked the comparison sites to see if you are getting a good deal? (uswitch, moneysupermarket)

Groceries etc. ......................... 45
Is this per week or per month?? Remember you will also need to adjust budget for baby coming.

tigerfeet2006

You might also be entitled to the Maternity Grant, ask your MW about it.

Also you put prescriptions etc. on your SOA, you should be getting them free untill baby is a year

immoral_angeluk

I can't possibly imagine what you are going through but didn't want to read and run. Sending you massive hugs hun, :grouphug: