Help Husband left SOA advice needed

full-time-mum

julie2710 wrote: »

God where do I start? I need a bit of advice. I'm about to give birth to my second child in just over 3 weeks. I have a 2yr 10mth old boy already. My husband has just announced that he is leaving in the next week or so as he has been having an affair with the receptionist who works for our business!!! (Its a Ltd co and we are both Directors)

If you are still in need of baby stuff then this is the time of year that lots of branches of the National Childbirth Trust have their autumn nearly new sales. I guess that it varies from area to area but where I am, they were really well organised and I used to be able to get really good quality clothes and toys for next to very little. Baby clothes in particular are always in good condition as they are often only worn a few times before they become too small. Good place to stock up on Santas little stocking fillers.

Hope that you are finding lots of unpleasant work for said receptionist to do.

Horace

Just wanted to wish you luck.

I was wondering if you have a clause in the receptionist's job description saying that she would have to to other jobs as and when required? Its a catch all clause that employers use so that they can give their employee other jobs to do as and when required.

I would take the woman off reception duties and stick her in the warehouse or somewhere equally uncomfortable. Perhaps a few child minding duties wouldnt go amiss either - that should put the tart off straight away especially if child minding becomes a regular occurrence. After all she has taken your husband its only fair that she takes on some of his 'burden' (I am not saying that DS is a burden but I am sure you get my drift).

Another thing that you could do which is incredibly catty but good too and that is to advise her to get tested because you have discovered that you have herpes and that as hubby was the last person you slept with then it could only have come from him:rotfl: Mean, I know but good because that implies that the 'herpes' must have come from her:D

julie2710

LoulaBelle wrote: »

Hi Julie,

What s#!tty timing!!!! I'm 36 weeks pregnant and have a son who has just turned 3 - don't know why but I thought I'd share that with you.

Okay first things first have you told the council that you are now living on your own - you will get 25% off your council tax as a single person - also ask them if they can spread the payment over 12 months instead of the usual 10 - that should save you something.
I have asked the council about the 25% discount am waiting for it to come through and this is the amount that would be left!! I will ask about splitting over 12 months - didn't know you could do that - thanks!!
Also your gas and electric look pretty high - have you shopped yet?
I have just changed tarriff and gone onto direct debit - bartered them down from the 150 per month they wanted me to pay as said am on my own now and will use less! They wouldn't go any lower and did work out the cheapest - the price I will be paying for each unit is the same as I was paying prior to any price increase. I'm going to get cavity wall insulation fitted as I can get free now that I am entitled to CTC and as I live in a detached bungalow I'm hoping that will help reduce costs even further!! Also when husband had new boiler fitted for some reason there's no thermostat???? I'm going to get one fitted so I can turn a couple of degrees lower and again save some fuel and then barter down my costs a bit more. If anyone has anymore suggestions re this greatly appreciated!
Also your life assurance looks pretty high - shop around for that too.
Life insurance currently covers me and husband - he's an unhealthy 45 year old smoker hence cost!! I'm going to have to keep it joint all the time mortgage is in joint names really - just to protect me?
Haircuts - can you not go to a student evening - they are always advertising for 'models required' - I'm told that these are pretty good.
I am definitely going to try and reduce this more - tbh I had been paying nearer the 100 mark as could afford to then but no longer
Holiday - for now cut that back (have you something booked or are you just saving for a holiday?) this cost is the maintenance on a timeshare, which includes this country as well as abroad - it's in my name but as I have a co car and get free fuel (freeish!!) it means I can use my weeks in this country, get away from it all and not really spend any extra money?

Has your husband moved to rented accomodation and doesn't know how much he will have to pay out - is that why he can't give you a figure? tell him that you are going to need some money soon because you don't want the mortgage and direct debits bouncing.Yes he has moved to rented accomodation and seems to be reluctant to commit to payments! There is no way I would let anything get in arrears as I have alwasy had an excellent credit rating and don't want to jeopardise that! I am lucky in that I have cupboards and freezer full of food (had been stocking ready for imminent birth) so could probably get by just buying mik and bread for the next few months, which would ensure I didn't miss any payments - I know this isn't a long term solution though!

I'm sure others will be along with more wise words - but for me for now thats what I can suggest - oh and welcome to the board!

All the best LoulaBelle

Thanks LoulaBelle

julie2710

GeorgeUK wrote: »

Hi Jules

Glad to see you're doing better than when you first joined and hope OH is starting to behave himself with DS. Don't feel that you need to give him any time or space to sort himself out - he caused this mess and just because he's screwed up doesn't mean you or DS should pay a financial price for that along with the emotional one.

Mortgage................................ 1547
Is this in your name or joint? Don't go paying his share of a debt while you are both responsible for it. This is in joint names but I do not want to risk losing my home - which I paid the deposit on and also have been paying most of while we've been together! He only ever used to give me 750 per month for everything!!!!

Council tax............................. 78
Are you getting benefits (don't know if there's something for single mothers/pregnant) or single person discount? If paying over 10 months, you could ask to pay over 12 (in January)
This includes the 25% discount - don't qualify for any single mother stuff as I do have a pretty good job!! Someone else has suggested the 12 mth instead of 10 Thanks I didn't know about this!
Electricity............................. 60
Gas..................................... 60
Have you checked the comparison sites to see if you are getting a good deal? (uswitch, moneysupermarket)
This is with a recent switch (last week after shopping around!) - I think I can get it down more - see my other response, but the co weren't prepared to let me pay any less to start with?
Groceries etc. ......................... 45
Is this per week or per month?? Remember you will also need to adjust budget for baby coming.

Yep I have screwed this up - this is the weekly amount but does include 15 per week for baby stuff - don't need any clothes toys etc as having another boy - thank god I'm a horder!!

Thanks for all your suggestions George - not sure if things are getting better or worse!!??
I''m going for a free consultation with a solicitor today to see what they suggest? Booked in for my c-section next Monday!!!:eek:

julie2710

tigerfeet2006 wrote: »

You might also be entitled to the Maternity Grant, ask your MW about it.

Also you put prescriptions etc. on your SOA, you should be getting them free untill baby is a year

Thanks have tried mat grant but not entitled as earn to much!!!!

Healthcare is for contact lenses - next job try and find them cheaper!!!

julie2710

full-time-mum wrote: »

If you are still in need of baby stuff then this is the time of year that lots of branches of the National Childbirth Trust have their autumn nearly new sales. I guess that it varies from area to area but where I am, they were really well organised and I used to be able to get really good quality clothes and toys for next to very little. Baby clothes in particular are always in good condition as they are often only worn a few times before they become too small. Good place to stock up on Santas little stocking fillers.

Hope that you are finding lots of unpleasant work for said receptionist to do.

Thank Had a loft full of stuff and another boy - so hand me downs all the way for him!!
Receptionist no longer has a job!!!!!:T

GeorgeUK

Jules - re splitting CT over 12 months, i believe it is at the end of the year that payments are not made so you may want to hold back on that. Not 100% on that but worth checking so you aren't paying when you could have a few months free.

Sounds like you're much stronger and have a better grasp on things - i'd say that's definately better. You seem to have been providing for him long enough. Make sure you don't get short changed.

misspoppy

Hi Jules

You sound like you are coping very well at the moment, I hope you can have family and friends around to support you after the baby arrives as it might all hit you then.

I think the legal advice is a must and plan life around the outcome of that meeting. If the solicitor doesn't suggest it I would get onto the CSA as soon as possible and get them to chase your husband for support.

Good luck and keep coming back for support, never feel you are alone because there will always be someone online to give you a lift.

tyllwyd

What is the deal with the business - is that where you work, or is your job completely separate? Do you get any income directly from the business? I wonder if you should consult a solicitor sooner rather than later to find out the best options for you, and whether you should resign as a director. If communication between you and your husband breaks down and you stop getting involved with the business decisions, you don't want to find out a few years down the line that the business has gone bust and as a co-director you are jointly liable with him even though you have no idea what has been going on. It's better to be safe than sorry, and get advice now rather than waiting until its too late to do anything.

LoulaBelle

julie2710 wrote: »

Booked in for my c-section next Monday!!!:eek:

Oh lets swop - I'm booked for Wed the 15th of October but I want it out NOW!!!!!! I'm so ill at the moment.

Will be thinking of you on Monday.

LoulaBelle