Help Husband left SOA advice needed

julie2710

God where do I start? I need a bit of advice. I'm about to give birth to my second child in just over 3 weeks. I have a 2yr 10mth old boy already. My husband has just announced that he is leaving in the next week or so as he has been having an affair with the receptionist who works for our business!!! (Its a Ltd co and we are both Directors)

I'm keeping our house but the mortgage and outgoings are high and luckily I have a good job which will give me 18 weeks at full pay for Mat Leave so at least that is not a worry for now. I have been doing a budget as best I can for now - not knowing what my husband will pay me etc etc. Need to cut loads as if my husband paid me nothing I am overspending by about £600 a month!!! I know there are areas where I can make cut backs - no more nails, expensive haircuts, home dyes etc and stuff, but I desperately need to save money!! I have no idea how much my husband will give me yet.

My biggest dilema at the moment is this. I have debt - £2.5K on MS& card - low rate life term. £5.2K on BT Card 0% until March 09 but the worst thing - £11,700 to be paid to GE Finance starting next March - the idea of this was "we" would put it on 0% finance or a low rate as if it stays where it is it will cost a furtune. I have an endowment in my name which I have been paying into for 16 years which costs me £58 per month and a Home Plan ISA with Halifax which I have had for 11 years. Should I cash these in and clear my debt and also reduce my monthly outgoings? In an ideal world this seems stupid, but right now I am thinking my priority should be keeping the wolves from the door and a roof over my head. The mortgage is now on repayment so I kept these going as investments rather than lose what had been paid in. I am in the process of doing a SOA and am going to try and make some savings - gas/elec phone etc before I post anything.

Any initial thoughts would be really appreciated though. I'm going to CIA this week to get some benefits advice too!

Thanks! :undecided :question:

**Amy**

I am really really sorry to hear about all of this.

Good job on doing the SOA, like you say there are bits you can cut out like nails etc.

Re: your debts, are the joint or solely in your name? It would probably be a good idea to speak to a debt charity www.cccs.co.uk or www.nationaldebtline.co.uk. They will probably be able to give you sound advice about your debts.

Will it be worth speaking to your husband asap about what he is going to pay you towards upkeep of the children/debts etc.

It might be a good idea to seek some legal advice, i know that solicitors normally give 30 mins free advice? Or you could ask citizens advice.

Sorry im not much help.

xx

gettingbetter

hi julie

stick around and you will get a lot of help and more important a lot of support

kas x

GeorgeUK

Oh Jules

So sorry to hear this - especially with a special delivery expected soon.

Not too sure about the CIA, but the CAB may be able to offer advice on benefits as well as what hubby should be paying for you and the kids.

Are any of the debts you mentioned in joint names or soley in your name?

Really hope things work out for you
(and that he catches something itchy and painful)

GETITPAID

First thing go and see a solicitor .Secondly get it in writing what he is going to give you on a regular basis.Thirdly dont panic there is always a solution. Lastly remember you will be happier than this man in the long run.
All the best x

julie2710

Thanks. Meant the CAB not CIA!!! Mind's not quite right at the moment - pointing out the error at least made me smile. The cc's are in my name, and GE is in joint names. I have neer had a bad credit rating in my life and want to maintain that status. Am wary about solicitors at the moment as every penny is going to count right now and much as I could probably kill him it would be better if it could be sorted out amicably. I've always earned a lot more than him which I guess means I won't get much as we're South of England dwellers and even a one bed flat is going to cost him £500 + a month which is nearly half his wage!

GeorgeUK

Keep us posted with that SOA and hopefully we'll be able to get your spending down a little. Is there family nearby that will be able to help you when the baby comes or is just the dolt?

I wonder if he may need to look after the littleone while you go to hospital - will it scare away the tart when she has to deal with kids that aren't hers or is he on his own?

Glad the CIA mention got a smile. Was going to say something about him not messing with you with that kind of influence but thought you may need to get used to us before we said something like that.

I suggest you have a look at Kizzy's thread - there must be something in the air and there seems to be a self sustained support group in there. I'm sure they would be able to offer lots of advice. The thread's a bit long now but to sum it up - "bloody men!!"
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1055339

Take care
George

hypno06

Hi there, and welcome.

I would suggest getting a big pad of paper, a pen and a big mug of tea or coffee. Grab the phone and ring up for valuations for all the endowments and other bits of investments, exact balances and any penalties for paying off loans and credit cards etc.

This gives you a starting figure......you can then see whether you want to clear the debt with the investments or not.

Normally the rule is that if you have debt and savings you should use the savings to pay the debt and thereby reduce the costs - if the debt is on 0% this is not so much of an issue, but the higher interest loan could be more costly than the potential benefit of holding on to the endowment.

That said, it is not always right to cash in an endowment - if it is fairly close to its term, then it might be worth holding on as historically, the greatest growth has usually been in the last few years. However, if you can clear the debt, and get rid of that element of stress, in my opinion you cannot put a value on that, and it would be worth giving good consideration to encashing and clearing the bills and moving on.

If you do decide to get rid of the endowment, do not immediately accept the offer that the endowment provider gives you - you can very often get more than the value of the endowment by selling it on to a third party - this is perfectly legit and the difference can be quite considerable if you ask a number of people for valuations.

Another option would be to stop paying into the endowment, thereby reducing the amount you have to find each month, but to leave it as "paid up" which means that you retain what you have already invested, together with any growth for the remainder of the term yet you don't pay any more in.

Hope that helps, good luck x

julie2710

OK have spent some time doing this and think I have covered everythingMy husband has recently left - just over a week ago - I am 38 weeks pregnant so will be starting maternity leave in a week's time. Luckily I will get 18 weeks at full pay. Husband has said he doesn't know how much he can afford to give me yet so have put in nothing!!As you can see the main problem is outgoings are exceeding incomings at the moment - There will be a couple of things that may look odd 1: have put down 20 petrol costs but no other car costs - this is because I have a company car so the 20 per month is all I have to pay!2: I have cleared credit card debts by cashing in shares and and endowment (not ideal but better than having the debt and reduced monthly outgoings!)3: The 10K of assets are jewellery and art(pictures and about 500 worth of Doug Hyde sculptures!) Also a small Stieff collection.4: I have a son who is 2yrs 11mths.Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 2200
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 202
Other income............................ 320
Total monthly income.................... 2722

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 1547
Secured loan repayments................. 219
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 78
Electricity............................. 60
Gas..................................... 60
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 25
Telephone (land line)................... 25
Mobile phone............................ 15
TV Licence.............................. 11
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 45
Clothing................................ 0
Petrol/diesel........................... 20
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 0
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 475
Other child related expenses............ 70
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 27
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 14
Contents insurance...................... 14
Life assurance ......................... 46
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 28
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 33
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 2812

Assets
Cash.................................... 260
House value (Gross)..................... 300000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 10000
Total Assets............................ 310260

Secured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 229000...(1547).....0
Secured Debt.................. 30000....(219)......0
Total secured debts........... 259000....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Total unsecured debts..........0.........0.........-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 2,722
Expenses (including secured debts)....... 2,812
Available for debt repayments........... -90
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 0
Surplus(deficit if negative)............ -90

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 310,260
Total Secured debt...................... -259,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -0
Net Assets.............................. 51,260

Created using the SOA calculator at https://www.makesenseofcards.com.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission.

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e.g. the number of adults & children in the household, the number

of cars included in the SOA or anything else that may be useful.

Edinburghlass_2

I'll get someone to move your thread and merge it with your existing thread on DFW where the good folks up there will be able to advise on any cut backs etc that will help you.

julie2710

Thanks - Not sure how I got on this board I'm not great with this kind of thing tbh!