Lunars next chapter

lunar

I wanted to ask what people think of this. My debt is all from before i met my OH. i told him about it all beore we moved in together as i didnt want to hide anything. He was brilliant and pays most of the bills, im only responsible for food shopping really. He wanted to help me pay it off when we moved in together but i really didnt want him to, i felt it was my responsibility to get it sorted and i still do.

Anyway, 18ish months afer this conversation i have more than halved the debt and have been really careful with money and done loads of the increase your income challenges. he was asking the balances and interest left on the current debts so i showed him the spread sheet i keep. he was really proud of the reduction. he knows ive been overpaying but not by how much.

well today he told me he wants to pay off the remainder of the egg loan in jan or feb. i really dont know what i should do. his wage is much higher than mine and he has pleanty in savings that we are keeping for our house deposit. he has been putting money aside every month without telling me to pay off part of the debt.

So what do people think i should do? let him help me or keep going on my own? dont get me wrong i couldnt have got rid of this much debt without him but paying bills etc feels different to him actually paying the debts. If he did pay it it would get rid of £50ish a month in interest to egg so in that way it would make sense, and our relationship is not as new as it was when i first said no to his help. Im just not sure it would be right to take his help when it isnt his debt.

SarahNeedle1872

I think you should accept his help this time.... as you said, your relationship is not as new as it was, and you have DS as well. He's obviously seen how determined you are to pay it all off when he looked at the spreadsheet, and if he can afford to help, why not? I'm sure he knows that the money this frees up you will pay off another debt anyway...
From a practical point of view, whilst it is not OH's debt, he is still helping in a way by paying the majority of the bills, so if another debt gets paid off earlier, and you become DF earlier, you will be able to start contributing more to the household finances - not saying that you don't contribute, I hope you know what I mean!?!

lunar

thanks for the advice sarah, ive still not decided what i want to do. i know the sensible thing is to let him help, i dont know why im having a problem with it.

i have also applied for a bt credit card, you can do cash transfers with them at 0% for 12 months. i have to ring them on monday. if im accecpted i was hoping to transfer my a&l loan to it if the credit limit is high enough.

if i got the new credit card and let oh pay egg i would be free from interest all together! tat might decide it for me.

today is my 11th NSD this month which must be a record for me.

chocaholic110

I agree that you should let him pay it off. Its better to pay the debt than have it in savings and now you are a family I think you need to do what is best for all of you. As long as he's offered and is happy with the situation I think you should go for it.

lunar

ok ive confused the situation eve more now. the bt credit card has been agreed for £3500, which would pay the egg loan by next month. or i could settle the fixed rate loan which is around £8250+1 month interest to close, if i let oh pay half of it. even though the fixed loan is lower interest rate ill pay more on it over time than egg due to the balance and duration of the loan. it would also stop me having to save up to pay it when my other debts have gone.

ive decided to let oh help me, im just wondering which option is best option 1 or 2?

option 1; pay off the egg loan with money from oh and forget the new bt credit card

option 2; balance transfer fixed rate loan to bt card and let oh pay the balance

option 3; any other bright ideas?

lunar

While ds was sleeping this morning ive been cleaning out my freezer and kitchen, i found enough ingrediants to make meatballs in spicy tomato sauce for tea tonight. I even made the meatballs myself! thats busy cooking away in the slow cooker right now and will feed us for a couple of days. ive also set the breadmaker to start at 4.30 so we can have fresh bread with it. I wish i was disaplined enough to do this all the time, there is enough food for 8 good portions and it will have cost less than £5 in ingredients.

I really need to get the rest of the house clean though, we have people coming tomorrow evening for a quick visit so i should try make it look presentable.

I got my amazon order this morning, always nice when free stuff arrives in the post. I also got a pressie from a friend for DS, she sent a new outfit for him from next which is just so cute.

now shal i sit on the computer or go vac the stairs?

[Deleted User]

Hi Lunar,

Regarding your dillema, I agree with Sarah and Chocaholic and it might make you feel great about getting rid of one

Also your dinner sounds much nicer than mine...care to swap???

Tea
x

hypno06

lunar you have done so so well, and it is really nice that you are now able to accept help from OH. Some couples like to keep things very separate, some don't - each to their own. We work on the principle that we are a family unit and both work bloomin hard, so everything is shared equally financewise (apart from the organising of it, obviously - that comes down to me!) but we have joint accounts, joint debts, joint responsibility and it works for us. There is no such thing as "my debts and his debts" as such, so in that respect we differ from you.

The meatballs sound lovely

lunar

OH wanted to combine our finances when we were moving in together, i didnt want to at this point as i wanted him to know i was taking responsiility for my debts. We will combine things when im debt free, however we should have a mortgage together before then. Im happy that he didnt pay towards my det when i told him about it even though hewanted to. i have learnt my lesson this way and know i will never get into this position again. i have to admit it will be nice to see a load of it paid off in the new year, it will feel amazing to get under 10k.the house is smelling amazing now with the slow cooker and bread maker on, its making me so hungry. I just have to wait for OH to get back from work later on.

hypno06

I think you are right to have done things the way you have - like you say, you have taken responsibility and learned the hard way, and because of this you won't go back!

I have been with OH since I was 15........so we both started out from scratch together from an early age - doing things jointly was an easy decision for us because of the stage of life we were at I suppose!

Isn't life complicated at times!!