Grandparents or nursery

ailuro2

When you find a grandparent has rubbed some whisky on the baby's gums cos he's teething, and it didn't do YOU lot any harm, how do you approach that?

If granny weaned her kids at three months, will she be happy to wait until the recommended six months now?:rolleyes:

A bit of dirt / sunshine / gripewater probably never harmed Granny's kids either;)

I know lots of grannies are wonderful, whereas other folks would use their childcare services to have you at their beck and call and use it against you.


Only you know in your heart what type of Granny you will have - and how will she take it when you ask her to do things your way, if you will?

fwiw I went back to work when our DD was 14 weeks, maternity pay 10 years ago was different, we put an ad in the post office and found our childminder that way.
Here in Scotland they now have the Care Commission which has links to childminding facilities, nurseries etc.

sarah1980

Errata wrote: »

On a freezing cold winter's morning when baby is a a bit off colour who would you rather looked after it ?

Me!! But TBH I don't see that grandparents are any better qualified to look after babies than childminders/nannies. Just because they are related, doesn't mean they care more. We have friends who have had the same nanny since eldest was born (she is now 3) and both their kids love their nanny like one of the family, and the feeling is mutual. I am just don't really go in for the "blood is thicker than water" ethos.

Becles

I think Errata means a grandparent will look after a sick child, but a childminder or nursery might not take them in case they infect the other child and/or they haven't got the extra time needed to care for a sick child.

dangers

With regard to a poorly child, a c/minder may agree to look after him/her more readily than a nursery who (I believe) it will be a blanket no! They can alter their plans so that they can have a quiet day, not going out. However, there are occasions, when a poorly child just needs to be at home with their mum/dad.
If you are looking for a childminder, have a look at childcarelink.gov.uk and follow the links for where you live. You may also be able to get some reports on childminders from other parents/health centre.

ladybirdintheuk

we're planning a combination of both - I'm only planning on going back 3 days a week (although as you say, it could change when I get that far!) and my mum has said she wants to look after the baby, but I wouldn't expect her to do every day.

I think nursery is beneficial to kids though - from what I've seen it makes them far more confident and independent.

You say that nursery and grandparents are far apart, but would it be practical to have some full days at nursery and some full days with grandparents?

samcantcope

I never had the choice of grandparents so I had to go down the nursery route, which was great for my little one we have made some great friends with the other moms as well.
I would recommend nursery's.:beer:

cazziebo

I would definitely go with childminder - if you can find the right one! I did and I know how lucky I was. She was also a qualified nurse so when it came to sickness they would far rather be with her than me!

I do think nurseries - and the social skills they "bestow" - are over rated. Young children benefit from one on one care and a home environment. Nurseries have their place later.

having said all that, if granny is willing and able then that is probably a good option. One of my friends - only in her fifties - looks after her 2yo granddaughter once a week and it completely exhausts her. I think there is a bit of an assumption that grandparents provide free childcare when they should be enjoying retirement. I agree with the poster who said let grandparents be grandparents. (although my mother was definitely a believer in jam on a dummy, sugar in a bottle, smoke won't harm them so never had my kids unsupervised!)

slh4283

*Louise* wrote: »

That's a good point. OP - will your mum look after the baby the way you want things done?

A lot fo people think, 'well that's how I brought mine up and it hasn't done them any harm'

I know someone whose daughter is only allowed organic food, no sugar - very strict diet. But when she stays with her granny, she is allowed all sorts of sweets and rubbish cos the granny doesn't agree with all these "new fangled ideas" and if she's looking after her it'll be done her way :eek:

Ours is due in April and depending on what happens in the meantime think we will have to go for the childminder option. We know for a fact when my niece goes round the first thing my MIL does is change her clothes cos she doesn't like what she's wearing. Then she practically forces her to have a nap in the pm as MIL wants a rest. Funny though - she kept her awake the other pm when she had to look after her in the evening as otherwise she would be a pain going to bed! Unfortunately MIL eyes glaze over when we say we hope she wouldn't do the same to ours.

pattycake

I think grandmothers are having a very raw deal on this thread. We are not all grey haired, slipper wearing, chain smoking harridans.

I look after my granddaughter 2 days a week. I know how my daughter treats her child and I follow her lead. Yes, I brought up two children of my own successfully but that was 30 years ago. Things have changed and I abide my daughter's rules.

Yes, I find it very tiring and two days is enough. (I've got her for 3 days this week:rotfl:!). However, the rewards are immeasurable. My granddaughter is changing every week and is like a little sponge learning new things, actions and words. She is 14 months old by the way. I am sure that my daughter would love to be the one experiencing these joys herself every day but she has a career in which she has worked hard to gain advancement and does not wish to give that up.

Yes looking after my granddaughter is hard work but this time will never come round again with this child and I know only too well how quickly they grow up. I aim to treasure every moment.

JC-P

I had to go back to work when my daughter was 4 weeks old and my mum looked after her. She did this until my LO was almost 2. She now does 3 days nursery and 2 with my mum (this is again changing over the next few weeks and building up to 5 nursery days)

Also, I lost alot of control with my mum providing so much childcare and this has caused some major issues in the past couple of years. I said it never would but it did.

When we have another, I will go with the nursery option from 4 months.