The ultimate incentive to get debt free, can I do it by New Years?

Birdie85

Tete_en_l'Air wrote: »

Haha, that sounds like such an awful fate when you put it like that!

(Hope your tea goes down the wrong way! )

Hehe, like a leper!

My drink is going down very well, she even gave me a couple of teeny milky ways to go with it! Mmmmm!

You'd think that NIM's mother would have a little bit of respect for you since she hasn't managed to scare you off!

You should send her a pair of scissors for her birthday- to cut the apron strings!

Dinah93

Lol I think sending someone scissors could be construed as threatening behaviour!

This is the first negitive thing I have said about her, and I know NIM isn't reading the thread at the moment due to lack of time. I don't want to dislike her, but she treats him like he's a dissapointment and that makes me angry as he is one of the most helpful, polite and generous individuals I have ever met, and that is worth so much more than him having a flash car and designer suits.

Tete_en_l'Air

Dinah93 wrote: »

she treats him like he's a dissapointment and that makes me angry as he is one of the most helpful, polite and generous individuals I have ever met, and that is worth so much more than him having a flash car and designer suits.

If he's not reading at the minute then you should print this off and take it home to show him.

Birdie85

It's a wonder he's turned out so well with a mother like that!

I know a few people who seem to be constantly disappointed with what they have and always strive for something better, why can't they just stop to smell the roses? I have a friend who has a gorgeous house, a fiance who dotes on her and who earns good money so she doesn't have work and a beautiful baby boy. She is never happy, the house is constantly being re-decorated and there's new furniture there every time I go around (and it is not cheap stuff, most of it's from Next!) and she wants a baby girl because her boy isn't living up to her idea of a dream child (namely, shopping for clothes for a boy isn't as fun as it would be for a girl!). She makes my head hurt so much that I don't see her very often!

What are NIM's siblings like?

Dinah93

Unfortunately I think he partially turned out so well because of her attitude. He is a real people pleaser, he loves to make other people happy, which could be refected back as making them happy makes them approve of him, something he has sought from both his parents for a long long time.

His brother isn't like this though, he puts himself first. He is a lot less emotional, gambles, consistently says he'll do something and doesn't, or lets their mother down, and NIM always tries to be the good son and put it back together. Yet he's never going to be the good son again after moving here and deciding not to follow a white collar profession. I've told him time and time again I'll support him no matter what so long as he thinks it will fulfill him and make him happy, his voice when he mentioned 'accounting makes a lot of sense' sounded so completely weary it broke my heart.

Dinah93

Tete_en_l'Air wrote: »

If he's not reading at the minute then you should print this off and take it home to show him.

I think I'd be uncomfortable doing that to be honest, I don't want to be seen to be getting in the way of his relationship with her, as as he sees it he has a lot of making up to do for leaving Ireland, and it's going to take time until he sees he doesn't have to apologise for making a choice for HIM rather than EVERYONE ELSE.

Birdie85

Dinah93 wrote: »

I've told him time and time again I'll support him no matter what so long as he thinks it will fulfill him and make him happy, his voice when he mentioned 'accounting makes a lot of sense' sounded so completely weary it broke my heart.

Oh, poor NIM! We're so lucky that we don't have overbearing parents who make us feel like this! I think all you can do is support him. I'm sure that if he did go back to Ireland to please his Mum he'd be back within a fortnight anyway. Love conquers all! What's wrong with being an accountant here? Or are Irish accountants better than English ones in the eyes of his mother?!

Birdie85

Right, off home now! OH rang earlier to say that he's phoned BT and we're getting broadband next Tusday so I'll have out of hours access! Whoop!

Anyway, speak to you tomorrow!

poddle911

Tough situation, Dinah, it must be so frustrating when everything else with NIM is going so well. She sounds like a complete frosty nightmare! Unfortunately I think you're right, you might just have to ride out the storm until he can see what she's like and how selfish her expectations are. He's bound to feel a little guilty for leaving Ireland but she shouldn't be making him feel worse, it's a shame. All you can do is keep up the 'sweetness and light' with her and maybe tell NIM you understand his mother's feelings but you don't necessarily agree? It's that old thing where someone can say anything about their own family, but it's out of order if you do... Poor you, and poor NIM!

Dinah93

See you tomorrow Birdie. Apparently it's a big growth sector there, where here we were already well stocked so it's declining like every other sector in the downturn!