The ultimate incentive to get debt free, can I do it by New Years?

Birdie85

I understand where you're coming from Dinah, you just have to stay hopeful that things will work themselves out soon. He's not been here long so maybe it's a case of letting him find his feet and then he'll be a money making machine!

Dinah93

Oooh bit of good news, the fold up bed I put on the council intranet about 2 months ago just sold for £30! Completely out the blue, will have to get NIM to put it in my car/his car and I borrow it on Wed night.

Birdie85

Good news Dinah! Money out of the blue is the best kind! And its getting rid of clutter!

Tete_en_l'Air

£30 not a bad chunk, and gets rid of a big bit of clutter - brill!

Re.NIM, I think the others have made some good points (go on Cinny, flick your hair!). I understand how you must feel subbing him, especially after the evil ex, but he did only just get here... 2(?) weeks ago. Work might want to see him prove himself a bit more before giving him any extra hours. Try not to pressure him too much or might decide he's better off back in Ireland anyway...

Dinah93

He's said I'm not, I guess it's also partly because if I used to ask evil ex to do something durig the 8 hours I was out, such as do the dishes or post a letter for me, he'd get really angry and throw things at me and scream, probably lock me out when I came home, so I'm terrified of asking for anything, even though NIM is lovely and would never act like that. NIM doesn't like being bored, and I know he's doing all he can to get more hours/another job, it's just when he is there, would rather he was earning a few little bits on the surveys and stuff than playing a computer game while I work!

I've always said if he wants to go back to Ireland, I'm not going to fight him to stay, caged bird and all that, he should only be where he is happy. For this reason I don't think he'll ever try to say he's going back to Ireland if we had a fight, as I would simply say 'okay then', and be devistated in private later.

Birdie85

I'm sorry you had such a horrible ex Dinah! I'm very glad that it is all over now.

NIM can't do surveys all day, he needs a break like all of us so I wouldn't begrudge him a little time on his game when he's at home. Not everyone has your drive; I know if I had your to-do list looking at me every day I'd feel overwhelmed and not do any of it!

Dinah93

It's not that I begrudge him, and it's not his fault, he's going out for a swim and tai chi now for a few hours before work. He's done all todays surveys anyway (he was suprised he was disqualified from a tampon one for being a guy), it's just that my ex had this attitude where he 'deserved' a break just for getting out of bed in the morning, where I think a break should be earned, ie I think his plan today is a good one, surveys this morning, go relax at the gym a few hours, go to work for 3 hours, and come home. But cleraly I'm contributing more money atm, which I don't mind so long as I feel he's trying to be useful in some way, but I do mind paying for someone to do leisure activities while I suport them. Equivalent of the typical husband and housewife team, and when he comes home she expects him to split the chores 50-50 cos she spent all day watching soaps. No, no, you both work in the day and rest at night, that's fair!

I can't strass strongly enough that I think NIM is trying to get more hours, and if I suggest he does some tidying or surveys or something he does it, but he would be the first to say if left to his own devices he'd spend all day on lolcats then regret that he'd wasted a day! He's been great so far, helping mum around the house etc. And that is my other worry, if he has to leave, I'm not prepared to sub him, so he needs to be helpful in the house now, and earning enough that he can be self reliant if needs must.

Dinah93

Ooooh NIM says he's going to speak to you all later, I can finally found out his secret identity!

Birdie85

Oooh! Hello NIM!

He's such a good sport, letting you talk about him to us so much! And you're right to not want to sub him, I'm sure he wouldn't want you to anyway.

Dinah93

Lol I trust that if he minded, he would say something, but it's not as if I say horrible things, or as if you actually know him, if I decided to discuss his strange habits/sexual performance/wierd extra limbs with his work colleagues for example, I think he'd probably have a bit more to say on the matter!